Do you / Would you take your kids into a liquor store?

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MomofTwoGirl...

Joined: Jan 08
Posts: 534

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 09:46
Ok, I know this has nothing to do with diet, but something I saw last night has been bothering me. I had to go to the local liquor store last night after work to get a bottle of wine for a party I was headed to. While there, I saw a woman with her two young sons. I looked at them closer, and realized that one of the kids was one of my daughters kindergarten classmates. The kids were talking to the workers about the renovations being done in the store, and it really seemed like they knew the kids well.
Then I get on line (the only line open) and I'm right behind them. The check out person was talking to the kids and mother, and again, it seemed like they knew them pretty well. So I'm figuring they are frequent customers.
The mom was purchasing a good amount of alcahol (24 pack of beer, two bottles of liquor) and cigaretts.

Now, I'm not a prude - I enjoy going out to the bar every now and again with my friends (kids at home with a babysitter) and having a few drinks - maybe even a few to many drinks if I know I have a ride. But to me, bringing your children into a liquor store on what seemed to be a fairly frequent basis, just seems... unresponcible as a parent.

So tell me, am I being a judgemental prude?? What would YOUR first impression be seing this?
an00bis

Joined: Jun 10
Posts: 648

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 09:58
I don't think it's a big deal at all. I really have a hard time believing that kids are influenced by those events. I started drinking in college, because all the girls partied and got drunk. It doesn't matter that I saw it in video games, movies, etc. Hell, I've been to liquor stores as well as a youngster, but none of that mattered to me.

It isn't good parenting to keep your kids in the dark about reality. In my opinion, the worst parents are those that don't let their kids watch pg-13 movies if they're not 13, or the ones that ban use of words like "hell" and "damn" very strictly. I don't advocate cussing by any means, but from a student's perspective, the kids that have the hardest time fitting in are the ones that seem like they just got out of an Amish community. The world is what it is. The sooner you're exposed to it, the sooner you can deal with it and be desensitized.

I'm trailing off point though. To sum up, I don't think it's a big deal at all. They'll see alcohol on TV, and that has a much greater impact. Still, that doesn't even matter. The biggest influence will always be peers, all this other jazz with not letting kids watch certain tv/movies or even not letting them see alcohol is just a recipe for social awkwardness.

Remember too, that in countries like Germany, or hell, almost the entire rest of the world, the drinking age is much lower. In Eastern European countries, it's not uncommon to see 13-15 year old teens enjoying a beer. The only reason this whole "21" law is in place, is because Candy Lightner whined about her daughter's death.
If you think my post is too abrasive, harsh, or offensive, you're:
A) Wrong.
B) Too sensitive.
C) Not going to receive an apology for pointing it out.
snasoff

Joined: Oct 10
Posts: 1

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 10:00
To be honest, I do think you're being judgemental. You really have no idea what the basis of the relationship with the clerk is. If you witnessed somebody drunk while caring for children, that would be different. I think you should quiet your inner-voice on this one.
Collazos

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 24

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 10:01
I have taken one of my kids to Specs one time to get supplies for a dinner we were hosting. Specs sells imports and items other than liquor so I felt a little bit better about having him with me. The thought of appearing as "WT" did cross my mind however.

I wouldn't take kids into a bar. I have gone to the grocery store for beer with all 4 once. I bought a bunch of other items to make it not look like a beer run.
kmg3366

Joined: Aug 10
Posts: 233

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 10:04
I think it's not a big deal. As a young child you don't really understand what is at the store. It's different if there are young children are in a bar or witnessing their parents drunk. There is no problem with bringing children to a liquor store and having people be friendly with them.

Also, I grew up with a fully stocked bar in my basement. My parents rarely drank, it was only for parties. And we used to play behind the bar and look at the pretty bottles. Never once did I even consider drinking out of one of those bottles. It all depends on how the parents set the rules, not ignoring the fact that these things exist.
Kristin
MomofTwoGirl...

Joined: Jan 08
Posts: 534

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 10:10
I guess the act of bringing the child into the liquor store isnt whats bothering me the most (thought it doesn't seem overly responcible to me), its the fact that what was bought is most likely going to be consumed infront of them, and if they are drinking all or most of it in one night (like I said, it seemed like they are there frequently, so I'm assuming they buy for one of two days at most) then they ARE drunk in front of the kids. Again, as some have said, this is all speculation by me, I'm adding up the pieces of what I'm seeing.

And just to add, I personally don't hide alcohol from my kids. We will go out to dinner, and I will have a drink in front of them, though it is rare since I try to keep my calories down. I don't see that as a big deal at all.
MomofTwoGirl...

Joined: Jan 08
Posts: 534

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 10:11
kmg3366 wrote:
I think it's not a big deal. As a young child you don't really understand what is at the store. It's different if there are young children are in a bar or witnessing their parents drunk. There is no problem with bringing children to a liquor store and having people be friendly with them.

Also, I grew up with a fully stocked bar in my basement. My parents rarely drank, it was only for parties. And we used to play behind the bar and look at the pretty bottles. Never once did I even consider drinking out of one of those bottles. It all depends on how the parents set the rules, not ignoring the fact that these things exist.


I think you made a good point here. Your parents had all the liquor in the world, but like you said, they weren't drinking it night after night. I think that is the point - SEEING your mommy and daddy drinking it night after night, and thinking thats the norm.
Again, just my opinion.
MomofTwoGirl...

Joined: Jan 08
Posts: 534

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 10:13
an00bis wrote:
I don't think it's a big deal at all. I really have a hard time believing that kids are influenced by those events. I started drinking in college, because all the girls partied and got drunk. It doesn't matter that I saw it in video games, movies, etc. Hell, I've been to liquor stores as well as a youngster, but none of that mattered to me.

It isn't good parenting to keep your kids in the dark about reality. In my opinion, the worst parents are those that don't let their kids watch pg-13 movies if they're not 13, or the ones that ban use of words like "hell" and "damn" very strictly. I don't advocate cussing by any means, but from a student's perspective, the kids that have the hardest time fitting in are the ones that seem like they just got out of an Amish community. The world is what it is. The sooner you're exposed to it, the sooner you can deal with it and be desensitized.

I'm trailing off point though. To sum up, I don't think it's a big deal at all. They'll see alcohol on TV, and that has a much greater impact. Still, that doesn't even matter. The biggest influence will always be peers, all this other jazz with not letting kids watch certain tv/movies or even not letting them see alcohol is just a recipe for social awkwardness.

Remember too, that in countries like Germany, or hell, almost the entire rest of the world, the drinking age is much lower. In Eastern European countries, it's not uncommon to see 13-15 year old teens enjoying a beer. The only reason this whole "21" law is in place, is because Candy Lightner whined about her daughter's death.



You really think seeing something on TV has a bigger impact on kids than seeing what their parents do??
Bchgurl

Joined: May 10
Posts: 100

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 10:26
Haven't really decided if I think it's a big deal or not, especially since I don't have kids myself. But I will say that my parents had me stay in the car, well my Father when he went into an ABC store. I had to have been pre-/early teens though, so it might have been because I was right on that cusp.

I always thought it was because it was illegal, or at the least frowned upon, to bring an underage person into an ABC store, and it might very well have been. That's regulated by the state, and times they are a'changing.
an00bis

Joined: Jun 10
Posts: 648

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 10:30
Quote:
You really think seeing something on TV has a bigger impact on kids than seeing what their parents do??


It did for me. It may not be the case with everyone. My parents were always anti-weapons or violence, but seeing Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee beat up people in the movies made me think it was cool. I remember always wanting a Swiss army knife because MacGyver had one, and who's more bad ass than Richard Dean Anderson? Every kid I knew wanted to grow up to be a ninja, and none of them had ninja parents, as far as I knew. My closest childhood friend always pretended to smoke a cigarette at recess, but his parents never smoked. He saw it in his favorite James Bond film and just thought it was cool.

Still though, none of those things ever happened. For the time that I knew him, that friend of mine never started smoking, I never got in fights, and I never got a Swiss army knife ( Sad ). So, I guess my point is that media has more of an influence on kids, but guidelines set by parents are the overall rule, as kmg pointed out.

I don't know, it may be different elsewhere, but those seem to be things that shaped my early years. I never cared what my parents were doing, just what my heroes were doing. I'm in college, so I'm not a young kid anymore, but it seems to be trend now. TV and movies are much more prominent in kids' lives. 20 or 30 years ago, they didn't have three dozen TV channels geared towards children, and a Pixar movie every week. I think it's especially relevant if the parents work a lot. TV and video games become like surrogate parents, but it can't undo ground rules that parents set up. No matter how much drinking I saw on TV or how many impressive shots of vodka my dad could down, I didn't do it because my parents told me not to.

"Do as I say, not as I do" works, I think. Not in all cases, but more often than not.
If you think my post is too abrasive, harsh, or offensive, you're:
A) Wrong.
B) Too sensitive.
C) Not going to receive an apology for pointing it out.
MomofTwoGirl...

Joined: Jan 08
Posts: 534

      quote  
Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 10:38
an00bis wrote:
Quote:
You really think seeing something on TV has a bigger impact on kids than seeing what their parents do??


It did for me. It may not be the case with everyone. My parents were always anti-weapons or violence, but seeing Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee beat up people in the movies made me think it was cool. I remember always wanting a Swiss army knife because MacGyver had one, and who's more bad ass than Richard Dean Anderson? Every kid I knew wanted to grow up to be a ninja, and none of them had ninja parents, as far as I knew. My closest childhood friend always pretended to smoke a cigarette at recess, but his parents never smoked. He saw it in his favorite James Bond film and just thought it was cool.

Still though, none of those things ever happened. For the time that I knew him, that friend of mine never started smoking, I never got in fights, and I never got a Swiss army knife ( Sad ). So, I guess my point is that media has more of an influence on kids, but guidelines set by parents are the overall rule, as kmg pointed out.

I don't know, it may be different elsewhere, but those seem to be things that shaped my early years. I never cared what my parents were doing, just what my heroes were doing. I'm in college, so I'm not a young kid anymore, but it seems to be trend now. TV and movies are much more prominent in kids' lives. 20 or 30 years ago, they didn't have three dozen TV channels geared towards children, and a Pixar movie every week. I think it's especially relevant if the parents work a lot. TV and video games become like surrogate parents, but it can't undo ground rules that parents set up. No matter how much drinking I saw on TV or how many impressive shots of vodka my dad could down, I didn't do it because my parents told me not to.

"Do as I say, not as I do" works, I think. Not in all cases, but more often than not.



Your still in college, so I'm assuming you don't have kids yet, and are rather young yourself. I semi-understand your thinking - yeah, when I saw people drinking and smoking in the movies, I thought it was cool, and at the time, thought my parents were not. However, if you have any sort of relationship and respect for your parents, reality will kick in. The ninja reference... don't know what thats about really, were talking about drinking here - even a child can see the difference between fake ninjas, and reality - alcahol. HOWEVER, deep down, you really know what is right and wrong, and that standard is set BY YOUR PARENTS (and other close adults in your life). If your parents are drinking all the time, your going to think that is RIGHT. No matter how many after school specials you watch about not drinking and doing drugs, or how many times you listen to MTV saying "stay above the influence." Parents set the standard.
sheripickle

Joined: Jan 10
Posts: 660

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 10:53
They sell alcohol at Walmart and we all take our kids there Wink I personally wouldnt take my kids in to a liquor store, but I don't see the harm Wink
~Cheryl~
TheChunkyOne

Joined: Apr 10
Posts: 247

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 10:57
I really dont think its that big of a deal, my mom took me when i was little, i've taken my son in once or twice.

Its kinda stupid to have to have a sitter to make a trip to the liquor store.
MomofTwoGirl...

Joined: Jan 08
Posts: 534

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 11:04
Steelers Fan 28 wrote:
MomofTwoGirls wrote:
kmg3366 wrote:
I think it's not a big deal. As a young child you don't really understand what is at the store. It's different if there are young children are in a bar or witnessing their parents drunk. There is no problem with bringing children to a liquor store and having people be friendly with them.

Also, I grew up with a fully stocked bar in my basement. My parents rarely drank, it was only for parties. And we used to play behind the bar and look at the pretty bottles. Never once did I even consider drinking out of one of those bottles. It all depends on how the parents set the rules, not ignoring the fact that these things exist.


I think you made a good point here. Your parents had all the liquor in the world, but like you said, they weren't drinking it night after night. I think that is the point - SEEING your mommy and daddy drinking it night after night, and thinking thats the norm.
Again, just my opinion.
How do you know that the clerk and the purchaser aren't neighbors? I know in our small community I walked in to the ABC store and there was my next door neighbor working. You know nothing of this person yet you're judging them and assuming they are friendly because she's a frequent flier as opposed to being neighbors or in the same soccer league or football fantasy league. You know nothing of their relationship yet you judge. Do you realize how that makes you look?



Your right, I don't know anything for a fact. But as I said, she and the kids were talking to not only the check out woman, but several of the other employees, and the kids were remarking on the renovations being done in the store - kind of tells me that this wasn't their first trip.

And if I'm right, and these people are drinking on a regular basis, infront of their kids, truthfully, I don't care how it "makes me look." I'm just asking a questions here, I never said anything to the woman, and never would. I simply asked what other peoples first impressions would be.
sherilyn70

Joined: May 10
Posts: 548

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 11:04
It doesn't take a very frequent visiting schedule to get to know the staff of a smaller store. I go to the meat shop every other week and yet Pete knows me pretty well and has reminded me that he misses seeing me around since I started losing weight. I go to Caribou coffee only once ever few weeks and yet the people in there always remember me and also comment on my weight loss. We had a waitress at a local restaurant on the second time time getting seated with her remembering what we ordered in detail over a week ago.

You don't have to be an addict to be remembered. If you're nice and friendly then eventually the staff will get to know you and remember you. Friendly honest people that treat others with respect are often remembered by those in the customer service industry.
SaintViper

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 145

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 11:06
I would NEVER take my kids into a liquor store. All those breakable bottles everywhere. My credit card limit isn't high enough to cover all of that.
ctlss

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 2,452

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 11:11
I took my kids to the liqour store. It is also the local bait shop, and sells soda, fishing supplies, etc. I really don't see any harm in it, and even if the woman was buying a 24 pack and 2 bottles, you really can't know that she was the one drinking it. She may have been getting ready for a bbq or a party. I buy liquor all he time, at the grocers, the liquor store, or the local Wally World, for my hubby (beer), company, parties, gifts, and I DON'T drink at all! If someone saw me buying it, with my 11 year old neice in tow, because she was helping get ready for a party or family get together, they might make the same assumption that you are making, and they would be mistaken. As for the kiddos seeming very comfortable with the person working at the store, you never know, the person could be a member of their church, or a friend of mom's or even a family member. I am always very friendly with all the people that work at the local grocer, the local WalGreens, the local liquor store, the local farm supply store, call them all by their names (name tags), and make a point of talking to them, but that doesn't mean that I am a frequent shopper there, it just means that I am gregarious, and go out of my way to be friendly with the people who serve me.
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
~Marcel Proust~


"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "
~Groucho Marx~

ctlss
ctlss

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 2,452

      quote  
Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 11:14
Laughing @ SaintViper!!
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
~Marcel Proust~


"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "
~Groucho Marx~

ctlss
MomofTwoGirl...

Joined: Jan 08
Posts: 534

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Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 11:16
sherilyn70 wrote:
It doesn't take a very frequent visiting schedule to get to know the staff of a smaller store. I go to the meat shop every other week and yet Pete knows me pretty well and has reminded me that he misses seeing me around since I started losing weight. I go to Caribou coffee only once ever few weeks and yet the people in there always remember me and also comment on my weight loss. We had a waitress at a local restaurant on the second time time getting seated with her remembering what we ordered in detail over a week ago.

You don't have to be an addict to be remembered. If you're nice and friendly then eventually the staff will get to know you and remember you. Friendly honest people that treat others with respect are often remembered by those in the customer service industry.



Thats totally true too - My husband and I went to a restaurant twice, 6 months appart, and they remembered us. Your thinking could be 100% right, and I could be 100% wrong.
MomofTwoGirl...

Joined: Jan 08
Posts: 534

      quote  
Posted: 08 Oct 2010, 11:19
ctlss wrote:
I took my kids to the liqour store. It is also the local bait shop, and sells soda, fishing supplies, etc. I really don't see any harm in it, and even if the woman was buying a 24 pack and 2 bottles, you really can't know that she was the one drinking it. She may have been getting ready for a bbq or a party. I buy liquor all he time, at the grocers, the liquor store, or the local Wally World, for my hubby (beer), company, parties, gifts, and I DON'T drink at all! If someone saw me buying it, with my 11 year old neice in tow, because she was helping get ready for a party or family get together, they might make the same assumption that you are making, and they would be mistaken. As for the kiddos seeming very comfortable with the person working at the store, you never know, the person could be a member of their church, or a friend of mom's or even a family member. I am always very friendly with all the people that work at the local grocer, the local WalGreens, the local liquor store, the local farm supply store, call them all by their names (name tags), and make a point of talking to them, but that doesn't mean that I am a frequent shopper there, it just means that I am gregarious, and go out of my way to be friendly with the people who serve me.


You could be totally right too - this could have been for a party or something. I don't mean to seem judgemental, I just didn't get that vibe though. But, hopefully, your right, and I'm wrong. It just upsets me to think of a child having to grow up in a house of alcaholics, which I'm not saying was the case here at all (really I'm not) but the possibility is always there. I remember going over to a friends house, and her moms boyfriend was a total drunk. We went into the house, and she went into the bedroom and came out saying "Its OK - hes passed out naked on the bed, so he won't bother us." Scared the hell outa me. I was about 12 at the time, and I was so scared for her. She left my school later that year, but not before getting pregnant.




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