Anorexic newly out of treatment...

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Joined: Jan 10
Posts: 5

Posted: 15 Feb 2010, 04:16
Hi my name is Tessa. I am new to the site. In a little bit of a desperate state right now. Got out of hospital 3 weeks ago after a 6 week admission. Left hospital at 45-46kg. I DO want to continue my recovery but it feels too hard right now. I feel disgusting. Since leaving treatment I have fallen to 41kg. I honestly don't know what I want- health or to be thin. In two minds about it. This is both an attempt for me to see what I am eating/drinking... and also an attempt to lose weight. Sorry, that makes no sense. -cry- Could really do with someone to talk to.

Joined: Jan 10
Posts: 5

Posted: 15 Feb 2010, 04:22
46kg = 101 lbs
41kg = 90 lbs

... for those of you who go by pounds not kilos.

Joined: Jun 09
Posts: 42

Posted: 15 Feb 2010, 07:26
Hi! I was Anorexic for many years. Went into treatment several times and my weight was restored. Now I'm back to losing too. I'm currently classified as ED-NOS I suppose. I hate that category so much. I hope you do fully recover! How long have you been suffering? For me, it's been half a lifetimeSad


Joined: May 09
Posts: 8

Posted: 15 Feb 2010, 07:33

Firstly contact your doctor/therapist and ask them for help. This is something that you can beat but you need help doing it. You might not need to be readmitted to hospital but maybe group therapy may help. You will find support and help here but you need more than this.

Secondly add everything that you eat and drink to your food diary. Even if it seems like you are not eating enough or binging it helps you to see over time how little your eating. If you decide that you want to gain weight then you know the food that you need to eat to make you healthy again.

I hope this helps and I’m praying for you.


Joined: Jan 10
Posts: 1

Posted: 15 Feb 2010, 12:19
I agree with Peaches

Joined: Jan 09
Posts: 4,546

Posted: 15 Feb 2010, 12:27
My heart goes out to you. Eating disorders are so devastating Sad
I hope you can find a way to love yourself no matter what your weight and to see yourself for the beautiful person you really are, not just a number on a scale.
My blog, This is not a Diet:
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Joined: Jan 10
Posts: 5

Posted: 15 Feb 2010, 14:44
Thank you so much for all of your support.
I will record everything I eat and drink starting from today.
That sounds like a good idea.
I suppose when I eat... I get a warped sense of how much I've consumed.
Maybe having it written down will help to realise it really ISN'T that much.

To answer your question, Pale: I have had problems with food since I was a little kid. Maybe 6 or 7. Went undiagnosed until I was 14. At 14 my weight dropped to 27kg (59 lbs). Since then my weight has been up as high as 64kg (140 lbs) which was less than 12 months ago.

Joined: Jan 10
Posts: 5

Posted: 16 Feb 2010, 04:27
Oh sugar... by the way, I am 5'4'' or 162cm.

Joined: Apr 09
Posts: 59

Posted: 17 Feb 2010, 15:09
My heart goes out to you.

At this time last year I myself was in a hospital program for bulimia. Mine however was out-patient and I had to attend Monday – Friday 8am to 3pm. After leaving the program I understood what I needed to do but I was heavier than when I went in and went straight back to my bad habits. So I understand what you mean when you say do I want to be healthy or skinny.
My advice is remember everyone makes mistakes, and recovery takes time. It is a struggle to be healthy, and it’s hard, very hard, especially after all those years for you, but you want to be healthy for you. Take it one day at a time and you will be able to do it.

Joined: Feb 10
Posts: 1

Posted: 17 Feb 2010, 19:55
The one thing I would really be careful of is whether or not you are actually ready to record your food intake. At 17 yrs of age, I was anorexic. Like you, I had inpatient treatment, followed by outpatient therapy. After learning how to "fake out" the docs--eat my food then purge, I began an almost life long battle with bulimia. I can tell you from personal experience that scrutinizing your intake on a daily basis can sometimes send you into a spiral. So just be careful about that and be really, really honest with yourself and consult your physician/counselor about your feelings.

My heart goes out to you. As the replies show, you have support here from those of us that are/have battled with an eating disorder. But you can win this..

Best of luck to you

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