Annoyed, confused, I feel like a cow. (Sorry long rant)

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Juno

Joined: Aug 07
Posts: 168

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Posted: 12 Dec 2007, 17:30
Ok so I just went round my friends house. They are two people that always go on about dieting, but then never get round to it. I think they are a little bit jealous of my weight loss.

Anyway, I had already eaten and they had just bought potatoes to cook for dinner. Thats healthy right? Baked potato is healthy?

Except, no joke, the potatoes were huge! Like, about the size of small swede. Or a small old fashioned cannon ball?? Its hard to explain the size. They must have weighed about 450g minimum each.

Then they loaded each potato up with cottage cheese, saying about how low in fat the cheese was. They had a tub of it each. Then added feta cheese on top.

All I could think about was "oh my god what are you doing?? Yeah the cheese is low-fat but thats for 100g, not the whole 500g tub!"

Does this make me a cow? I didnt say anything. I felt that it would sound so rude if I say "errr do you really want to eat all that?" As if I thought they were greedy or something. I would have looked a right snob, oh no Princess Jacquie would never eat that much!

But I was so annoyed in my head. Neither of them are particularly that big, but if they are going to eat like this then NO, they are not going to lose weight, and it seems unfair that they should they get all funny when I lose weight, as I am the one who puts effort into portion size and healthy eating.

What would you have done? They then licked out a jar of chocolate spread together in front of the TV.

Am I now just a food snob? Am I one of those girls that look down their nose at people who eat badly?

Should I have said something like "you could save half the fat on that if you cut some of the cheese, and had a salad with it instead".

Grrr Why does it bother me so much!?? Evil or Very Mad People should be allowed to eat what they like. Its not even like I was jealous of the food. Instead I just kind of felt a bit... I dunno. It definitely wasnt jealousy, lets put it that way.

How do you guys feel when you see people eat loads?

Sorry for the rant. Confused

"Orandum est ut sit mens sana in corpore sano." Juvenal, Satire X
sonamb23

Joined: Oct 07
Posts: 31

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Posted: 12 Dec 2007, 18:27
Well a year ago I was 128lbs and in good shape and when I was loosing the weight some of the girls at work used to tell me that I was getting to skinny and would tease me a little..but I looked good and felt great and my husband reminded me that they are probably just jealous, you go to the gym and eat good and that is nothing to be upset about...So to all those who stuff their faces and complain about the weight they can't get off WE LAUGH AT YOU!!!!

We are on our way to being healthy and even more beautiful Razz Don't get upset, annoyed or just plan errrrrr....just remind yourself it's not your body it's theirs and..

Keep up the good workSurprised
"Pain is only temporary"

<a href="http://www.fatsecret.com/member/sonamb23"><img src="http://www.fatsecret.com/ticker/sonamb23.gif"></img></a>
Herbie

Joined: May 07
Posts: 68

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Posted: 12 Dec 2007, 20:37
Ack- my parents do the same kind of thing. It sounds like your friends aren't really serious about their weight loss, and honestly if I were you I wouldn't really talk about their eating habits with them until they start seeming serious. If they ask you about your weight loss you can talk about the diet you follow --talking about the choices you make and what a difference it makes for yourself can be a wake up call for folks if they are ready to hear it. And, if they aren't ready to hear it, well, there's not much you can do in my opinion.

Now, if I thought a friend or family member was in serious health risk I'd probably take a more agressive strategy and have a straight talk with them. But, in this case, I'd say stick to your guns about your own food and your own plan. When/if they are ready to take the steps to changing their habits, you can be ready to help them.
Juno

Joined: Aug 07
Posts: 168

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Posted: 12 Dec 2007, 20:43
yes. exactly. Thanks to you both for summing it up. I think i did the right thing by shutting up!
"Orandum est ut sit mens sana in corpore sano." Juvenal, Satire X
jennylynne

Joined: Aug 07
Posts: 57

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Posted: 12 Dec 2007, 21:09
i've gotten really bad about seeing people's food choices at a restaurant and thinking bad things about their choices! i only say something about it to my mom cuz well she is me only 23 years older. But because of my results and a little pestering my best friend joined weight watchers and has lost 60+ lbs in the last 4 months.
but yeah just let it go and think all of the things anyways.
Lotus

Joined: Nov 07
Posts: 486

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Posted: 12 Dec 2007, 21:58
What makes ME mad is when your so called "freinds" try to get you to cheat on your diet! I hate that.
Brandon's grandma is bad about that too, especially on the holidays. She just won't let up sometimes! That is what I call annoying. And she is quite overweight herself.
Oh another peeve I have is when your overweight friends try to tell you something is healthy when you know it really isn't, or you just plain can't have it on your diet. You don't want to argue, but at the same time it just drives you nuts. Brandon's aunt always asks me if I want a 100 calorie candy bar. I'm off sugar! And when I tell her no thank you, she says Why, it's only 100 calories? Maybe so, but that is 100 calories that will make me want to eat another 1000 calories of SUGAR AND CARBS. People just don't understand how hard it is to stay on a diet when everyone is waving food in your face all the time and trying to talk you into it. I just try to avoid going over there at all because they are always eating junk.
Time is an illusion..
Lunchtime, doubly so.
From A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
sararay

Joined: Sep 07
Posts: 1,688

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Posted: 12 Dec 2007, 22:02
They aren't ready to hear what you have to say. Just be a good example and if they ask you how you are doing it, tell them politely. If you start giving unsolicited advice you will just lose friends. Be patient, the more results you have, the more likely they will ask you.

You did the right thing by not saying anything.

Love the food that loves you back.

Take it one day at a time!
-----------------------------------------
Pking

Joined: Oct 07
Posts: 229

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Posted: 12 Dec 2007, 23:05
I learn the hard way that when you're serious about dieting, people will either snub you or test you. I got family/friends who don't even come chat anymore simply because I don't eat the supersized meals with them anymore. Amazing how something as simple as food will distance people. Then there are the people in my workgroup who all decide to have high fat/sugar foods during team meetings. No one ever asked me my preference. They know I don't eat that junk so they buy it to test me. Then they look stupid when I don't eat it and they wasted money with plenty of leftovers. But those are so-called "friends"...right?

So I'd say no...you're not a food snob. You simply know what's best for the body and they don't, or better yet, you care about your health and they don't. But we all were there once, so we who are dieting should continue to be examples to others. You don't have to say nothing. Just let your efforts to the talking for you. They knew you when had more weigh and now they see you have been successful losing weight and now looking hella-good! So just let you body do the talking. lol

Keep up the good work!Cool
"Junk food is one of those phenomenons where it taste good to the tongue, but once it gets in the stomach all hell breaks loose!"
biblioholic0...

Joined: Nov 07
Posts: 277

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Posted: 12 Dec 2007, 23:28
That's so frustrating! And it's funny that people think the base thing is healthy (e.g. baked potato), and so that gives them the freedom to add whatever they want! It's not really your place to point out mistakes, but you can't help but notice them. Just think about how you're NOT eating those things and putting nasty food, or more calories into your body!
CalorieKille...

Joined: Aug 07
Posts: 128

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Posted: 13 Dec 2007, 00:04
I struggle with refusing things politely. Tonight we all went to dinner at a friend's house and I did very well eating a small portion of meat and vegetables and just focusing on conversation. It was a birthday celebration and when she brought out the cake we all sang and it was happy times. But while she was slicing it I snuck over to her and mentioned that I'd not be having any. She seemed deeply dissapointed by this. When she sat down she offered me a bite and I said no again. Then she passed me a tin of homemade cookies and I said no...AAAHHHHGGAAAAIN. She knows how hard I've worked and at some point I start to feel sort of offended that people are pushing food on me!

I think in general making changes in your life--ESPECIALLY weight loss--are changes that test those around you as much as yourself. And your friendships. Some people will want you to stay exactly the same, and always be exactly the same. They'll want you to be their "eating buddy" and if you're not than they'll drift away. Reminds me of that news story recently talking about how most groups of friends are about the same size and shape as they are. There is a reason for this! Anyway, I think the social struggle of weight loss is the toughest part in many ways. There is always someone there to give you their opinion, tell you you look "fine" or you're overdoing it, blah blah blah. It is really just a great opportunity to follow your own mind, and develop your skills politely but firmly managng those around you. The good news is that once you start showing serious results people tend to mysteriously stop offering so much advice and tend to listen the first time you say NO. At least, usually they do!

CalorieKiller
susieq1941

Joined: Feb 07
Posts: 214

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Posted: 13 Dec 2007, 04:09
To be honest, when I see people eating in abundance, I am just reminded of ME. That's how I still eat inside of myself that is. I am not so far remomoved from those eaters, and am afraid that I am always a hair close to going back to that. I think when I see people eat that way, I see them as uneducated as to healthy habits, and I agree that the only time to tell them otherwise is if they ask, or if they push me into overeating, or eating anything at all that I don't want to for healthy reasons. Each guy has to take care of herself/himself unless they are on this site with us.....

In order to succeed at weight loss I must be:
determined
consistent
exert will-power
become the person I WANT to be, not the overweight person that I am
Mandie160

Joined: Aug 07
Posts: 48

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Posted: 13 Dec 2007, 14:04
Unless it's my child, I don't say anything! These people are adults and they a full aware of what they are doing. Now, if they ask, use your best judgment, but don't lie to them. Please don't become that person that acts as if they wrote the diet book!LOL! I promise you, people will not want to be around you for very long. Good Luck!
If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.
redrover

Joined: Oct 07
Posts: 5

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Posted: 14 Dec 2007, 22:58
You are taking care of yourself and being mindful of your food. In doing so you are aware of others eating mindlessly. Just care for yourself and if they ask for help be there for them. It is your mission to lose your weight not theirs!
comebackkid

Joined: Apr 07
Posts: 7

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Posted: 17 Dec 2007, 07:39
I just used this reply at a birthday party I attended a couple of weeks ago. "Oh, no thank you, thanks for thinking of me but friends don't give friends sugar, I'm diabetic." And then I smile my best smile ever. Smile Works like a charm every time.
The one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life.
~Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave



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