Can't seem to stick to a diet

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XshapeshiftX

Joined: Nov 14
Posts: 185

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Posted: 25 Sep 2016, 08:44
Why is it so hard? I keep veering off track! I want to so badly, but food tempts me, and I know about changing my relationship with food-it's not that I feel like food is the enemy, it's that I am attracted to foods that are so high in calories. I measure, I write down what I eat. But I eat the foods I shouldn't, so it's pointless.
Don't give up what you want MOST, for what you want at the MOMENT.
LadyinDenim

Joined: Sep 10
Posts: 182

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Posted: 25 Sep 2016, 10:59
It's hard for me right now, too. I'm thinking the change in season and shorter daylight hours may be a factor. I'm making myself satisfied with maintaining right now, even though I technically am running a calorie deficit. If I were young like you, I would focus more on exercise I enjoy, stay away from sweets, and just eat three meals a day. I can't answer about the cravings. I know when I eat certain things, I want more of those things. When I avoid them, I eventually stop missing them.
XshapeshiftX

Joined: Nov 14
Posts: 185

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Posted: 25 Sep 2016, 12:34
Yea, I know Lady, about the less you eat sugar the less you want it...but it's the detox that sucks! Like, and then seeing other people eat candy and being around cupcakes and pies and cookies (literally almost daily, no joke) and having to say NO!
It royally sucks and is VERY HARD!! Sometimes feels impossible for me.
Don't give up what you want MOST, for what you want at the MOMENT.
LadyinDenim

Joined: Sep 10
Posts: 182

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Posted: 25 Sep 2016, 16:28
And having to smell them is the worst. It's easier to avoid them when you don't have to face them. You might have to resort to some type of self hypnosis. Not even kidding.
spacey48

Joined: Oct 12
Posts: 450

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Posted: 25 Sep 2016, 16:45
its not easy but in the end it comes down to choice

where I work you could put on a pound a day just by eating the snacks and cakes other people bring in.

I just make the choice to never eat anything apart from my daily meal at work and just stick to it,

over time you develop a stronger mental attitude and it becomes no big deal



XshapeshiftX

Joined: Nov 14
Posts: 185

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Posted: 26 Sep 2016, 09:43
Yea I hear you, spacey. I always feel stronger when I resist. When I pass up a slice of pie or hand full of cookies or chocolate I feel more motivated, better about myself.
I hate the temptation. I wish it could become easier faster! I need to find a better quote that I can tell myself each time the situation arises!
Don't give up what you want MOST, for what you want at the MOMENT.
spacey48

Joined: Oct 12
Posts: 450

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Posted: 26 Sep 2016, 16:07
I look at all the people around me at work who are actually very nice people who I like a lot, but I see their constant failure to manage their intake.

a lot of them eat miserable lettuce and tasteless lunches, then they get fed up and start snacking especially in the afternoon.

Whats sad is that they sort of unwittingly encourage each other without really realising it

they regard me as bit strange that I don't bother with all the junk!

end of the day what do I want most? THE momentary taste or the ongoing positive feeling of being in great shape

now and then I give in to the moment but the majority of times I don't and that's what makes the difference
SoMuchBS

Joined: Sep 16
Posts: 48

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Posted: 26 Sep 2016, 16:17
Are you trying to extract happiness from food? Instead of looking at it as a fuel source?

Object oriented happiness extraction is the mechanism of all kinds of addictive/abusive relationships with things.
XshapeshiftX

Joined: Nov 14
Posts: 185

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Posted: 26 Sep 2016, 16:28
SoMuchBS wrote:
Are you trying to extract happiness from food? Instead of looking at it as a fuel source?

Object oriented happiness extraction is the mechanism of all kinds of addictive/abusive relationships with things.

Food is a fuel source, I know that. But I can't be unhappy with everything I eat, that's setting myself up for failure-like spacey said about coworkers. I have to find replacement foods that I like just as much. I know how to eat healthy-my diet isn't completely sh*t, I have a candy/dessert habit that gets in the way of things a bit too often and ruins a TON of plans!
Don't give up what you want MOST, for what you want at the MOMENT.
SoMuchBS

Joined: Sep 16
Posts: 48

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Posted: 26 Sep 2016, 16:37
I understand, the bottom line is the best diet plan is one that you can stick with. Too much of a burden and it gets shrugged off. On the other hand, the thing about weight loss is, there will be some amount of suck-it-upness to the proccess no matter what. Caloric deprivation is, by definition, depriving you. You'll feel it to some extent psychologically or physiologically.

Have you looked into structured refeeds? They can help to alleviate some of the unplanned diversions.
spacey48

Joined: Oct 12
Posts: 450

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Posted: 26 Sep 2016, 17:14
Food is an undoubted pleasure of life and much much more than simply a fuel source

the trick is to manage how much of it you eat, think more about the flavour than volume

not a day in my life goes by without me having ice cream or chocolate and generally both, i eat out regularly and love good food

once you learn control you can eat what you want............within reason and overall caloric balance
pandasmom

Joined: Apr 16
Posts: 28

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Posted: 26 Sep 2016, 17:41
My biggest temptation is sweets. Usually I can hold off temptation with fruit, but I also find the search for alternatives can be helpful. I look up recipes for sugar free, low fat desserts -- in some cases I decide they aren't worth the effort, but the time I have spent has allowed the craving to lessen. I. other cases I have found a new item to try. A few have been good enough to eat as a treat, and others make a good light meal (ie, breakfast of yogurt and berries in a frozen dish.) The important thing is to not give up!!
SoMuchBS

Joined: Sep 16
Posts: 48

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Posted: 26 Sep 2016, 17:44
Oh there is certainly pleasure aspect in food, but it needs to be within the wider perspective of fuel/nutrition needed for the body. This is why iifym is a good method.

I was merely providing a possible reason for non-adherence to a plan. After all,most of the people on this site are here because food was primarily viewed as a pleasure, and not a fuel. It serves as a good check/counterbalance.

How many people keep pumping thier gas after the tank is full? People do it all the time with food because pleasure.
spacey48

Joined: Oct 12
Posts: 450

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Posted: 27 Sep 2016, 10:50
i think a lot of people who overeat don't actually get that much 'REAL' pleasure out of food especially with regards to taste and new flavour experiences.

I actually get a lot more pleasure out of eating not only so called 'Treat' foods but also my regular meals since I made the decision to get into shape and stop over eating, I look forward to meals a lot more

SoMuchBS

Joined: Sep 16
Posts: 48

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Posted: 27 Sep 2016, 11:08
Quote:
i think a lot of people who overeat don't actually get that much 'REAL' pleasure out of food especially with regards to taste and new flavour experiences.


Thats a bit of 'moving the goal posts' mixed with some sort of appeal to purity/true scottsman. But you're not completely wrong.


They may not get much pleasure from it every time, but at some point they derived enough pleasure from it to turn it into a habit. It becomes a dysfunctional behavior pattern not unlike addiction/abuse, where people try to use objects as a sort of push-button happiness. Of course, it stops working over time, and creates all kinds of other problems.

You know the old image of a person crying/getting sick while they gorge themselves? They aren't trying to eat food, they're trying to eat happiness. It sounds ridiculous when articulated, but this is the absurd dysfunction people find themselves in, to various degrees, with food.

So it starts with primarily using food for pleasure, while ignoring the fuel aspect, and evolves into an addictive/abusive relationship with food. The pleasure experiences comes and goes. People get fed up(no pun intended), decide to lose weight, and the ghosts of habits past(or unrecognized) begin to show up. It's helpful to frame food with a fuel paradigm for these people, because the pleasure aspect was overemphasized for so long.

I think the seeing through, and the recognizing of dysfunctional behavior is a lot more useful and successful than the 'bootstraps''unrelenting willpower' approach so often touted in the west. The willpower approach often leads to restrict/binge cycles, and eventual burnout and throwing in the towel.

Quote:
I actually get a lot more pleasure out of eating not only so called 'Treat' foods but also my regular meals since I made the decision to get into shape and stop over eating, I look forward to meals a lot more


As someone who is extremely insulin sensitive, I get more pleasure from feeling the blood sugar rise and feeling the 'fuel being put in the tank' so to speak. Especially when in a deficit. That aspect is probably largely absent in the insulin resistant group that is pre-diabetes/diabetes, as their blood sugar is chronically elevated already.
XshapeshiftX

Joined: Nov 14
Posts: 185

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Posted: 27 Sep 2016, 12:43
Sometimes I just need to feel myself eating. It could even be salad. I could have 10-12 cups of salad with calorie free dressing and maybe a can of plain tuna. Just to eat. It could, on the other hand be half a German chocolate cake. Either way, I like to eat also.
I grew up with eating disorders-I was diagnosed with BED when I was 12, then I started purging and adopted bulimia and was diagnosed at age 15 and then quit eating almost altogether and reached UNDER 90 pounds at 5'7" at 16 and was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. I've been through a lot. I have a distorted relationship with food and I still have certain behaviors here and there.
Not to pour my heart out or anything, but there have been a couple of times recently that I have eaten more than half a cake and thrown up. But if I binge on healthy food I just log it. I just need to eat sometimes, it's bad-my diets seem to fail!
Don't give up what you want MOST, for what you want at the MOMENT.
SoMuchBS

Joined: Sep 16
Posts: 48

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Posted: 27 Sep 2016, 13:23
That's one hell of a rocky relationship with food, hopefully it'll get sorted out and you'll be able to return to a healthy relationship.

Normally binging is a sign of over-restriction, and there are ways to combat this from low-volume inclusion of certain 'treat' foods, to refeeds.

You might be trying to willpower it too much. This might sound a bit taboo or twisted, but hear me out. The amount of personal strength and willpower it takes to literally starve yourself in anorexia is astounding. Not many people have that kind of personal strength. I realize its a dysfunctional/sick way to be but most people don't have the sort of willpower to even work themselves into that situation.

It looks like you're like 'OK time to do this', and you do it, you do it too much, down to 500kcals a day and the body is like 'LOL no' and forces you to compensate the other way.

In the west when something doesn't go the way we want, we tend to self-mutilate with our thoughts and apply heavily to self the fundamental attribution error. Its always "I wasn't strong enough, I wasnt x or y enough, this is completely and totally my fault for the way I am, I need to DO MORE HARDER FASTER STRONGER to make what I want happen" This mindset can get quite dysfunctional. Every situation doesn't call for a sledgehammer. Sometimes yielding and self-compassion is what's required.

What I'm saying is that your 'too strong, too fast, too extreme' is literally creating the 'failures'. Its not really a failure on your part as much as a WAY TOO GOOD at deprivation and willpower that causes a blowback to happen. Its like pendulum, you push it really really hard one way, then get surprised when it swings back the other way with some force. The trick is just to stand in the middle and lean the pendulum one way gently.

You need some relaxation and moderation. Over-restriction and bingeing average out to moderation in the numbers, but experiencially its a hell of a roller coaster. The moderation approach is more of a flat line and leisurely stroll.

Looking at your food diary, you appear to swing back and forth between 2000 and 500kcals. You might want to try a moderate 1400-1500 daily, and work a refeed every 1-2 weeks depending on how intense your exercise has been.

You also have to realize that weight loss is a slow process. Losing at a rate of 1lb(of fat) a week, it'll take 10 weeks(2.5 months) to reach your goal weight. You've already seen what trying to go faster than that is like...maybe try the more moderate approach.

Quote:
Don't give up what you want most for what you want at the moment.


This is an enshrinement of willpower?

A lot of people got here by overindulging the pleasures of eating, and a lack of willpower. So a lot of rhetoric about lack of willpower and lack of accountability gets thrown around in these crowds. That doesn't seem to be why you're here. You might be clinging to an idea or frame of mind that simply isn't for you. If something isn't serving you well, let it go.

Wow that turned out to be a long post. Maybe some of this resonates with you, maybe it doesn't. Hopefully you can get it all sorted out though.
LadyinDenim

Joined: Sep 10
Posts: 182

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Posted: 27 Sep 2016, 16:26
Like.
Normadale

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 1

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Posted: 27 Sep 2016, 17:39
That was very well put and resonated deeply with me. Thank you.
XshapeshiftX

Joined: Nov 14
Posts: 185

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Posted: 27 Sep 2016, 18:38
Thank you, SMB. It means a lot that you took the time to write out that response. I read it twice already and probably will again. You're right-and I'll put this in my own words-I want things to happen quickly, NOW. I go to extremes to make them happen fast. I don't have a real balance yet, but I honestly HAVE been working on finding one. Like a calorie limit, which foods to cut out totally (if any) grams of carbs per day (not doing low low carb diets) you know. I am going to try and figure out what works for me. Lots of veggies work good, but fruit actually DOESN'T and I thought it did!
Don't give up what you want MOST, for what you want at the MOMENT.



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