Struggled most my life with weight stemming from family viokence, molested as a child, forbidden to talk to anyone about the violence or molestation . Followed by more years of abuse and self abuse.
I succeeded partially once and lost 100 lbs.
Since then rebounds after a host of other problems including 4 deaths in 4 years last one being my mother. After her death fallin out with siblings.
Scared to fail but desperate for another chance to live life. I think I still have something to offer. I think at my age I can be the exception. I've survived and conquered some things. Why not this blast food addiction and food comforting I really despise it now.
I live in Japan which actually makes it hard because they expect perfection. I'm talking docctors. I'm not a Japanese small type. I'm 5'10.
@ my weight I think I need to be 185 ish. I've been told also I should be around 165. That's a big difference . Those last 20 could mean an entire year alone...I saw what I looked like at 200. My family was in shock. I just can't imagine 165. Any thoughts on goal weight would be appreciated. I just sat for 6 days here watching extreme weight loss with Chris Powell. Pick up good tips and bits.

I have a bad knee . So not sure how much I can do on cardio, any tips ? . I welcome input. I shut myself off from people. I'm in it to win it for me. I need to be healthy. I promised myself when my mom died. I'm going to live and not die and goink to live again. I'm married. So looking to do this for him as well. Especially my son. I don't want to embarrass him. He's my gift from God who I want proud of me. Not ashamed. That's it.