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Weight History
showing entries 36 to 40 of 42
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30 April 2011
Okay I'm starting to get this slowly. I'm three weeks in and I'm starting to understand how this calories counting concept work. Graduate schools do not teach you this! Staying focused, being determined and setting my mind on my goals have made my desperation turned into real production.
Someone on here asked me to "really ask myself the real reason why I want to lose weight." From hearing people stories to reading research, we all learned that aiming to lose weight for that summer wedding or for that guy is never worth it (I mean fitting into that dress for that wedding is just a temporary satisfaction). These short term goals are attainable but not long lasting. I don't have a summer wedding to go to. Or a man that I need to lose weight for. I do however have a lifetime of happiness and health waiting for me. Ever since my divorce, I started to really define my happiness. My mistakes, my good qualities - everything. Reflecting to the point that I can no longer reflect. I mean I thought I lived a very self examined life, but I guess my self examination over the last two decades weren't enough - I started to test myself on the practice part of it.
Like for example, this concept of self control and focus. I have always been an ambitious and goal/action oriented person. In fact, there are very few goals in my life that I can't achieved. But the process of me going about achieving those goals have been absolutely unhealthy. What did I expect the result would be when I was doing two grad programs and working two jobs (while trying to support my then husband?). How was I to enjoy the fruit of my labor at work when my 'work hours' and productivity levels were all over the place? What did I think would happen to my physical health when I was working out one day and then fall off the band wagon for 3-6 months? Did I really think I was going to be happy and sane with the stress levels and drama and negativity that I was exposing myself to everyday?
My writing days were sporadic. My studying habits were not existence. My emotional health was a wreck because I was on the pills (and was exposing myself to so much negativity). I swear, throughout my adult life, I had no concept of moderation. This lack of understanding has translated into my eating habits. My exercise habits.
Signing up for the half marathon was the best thing I ever HAVE DONE FOR MY HEALTH. And signing up for this website to help me 'monitor' my eating habits have been the second BEST thing I can do for my health. When I am able to stick to a schedule of running, I can stick to a schedule of writing and working. I can stick to a schedule of having fun. When I am able to say no to a second serving of rice, I can start learning how to say no to 'excess'. When I can say no to fried food, I can start practicing how to say no to drama and negativity. But it's not about saying no. Because I learned you can not say no to everything bad. We need a balance. In our life, in our diet, in our exercise, etc. This balance is what keeps us going. Is learning how to be consistent. Learning how to stay focus, have self control so that when the 'bad comes' we would know how to handle it. When we are balance and stable, it gets more difficult for anything (even temptation) to knock us over. And that goes for french fries, to ex husband, to negativity, to deadline...
I feel good that I am able to learn this. What has been wonderful is having the resources, the time, the opportunities and the support to practice this. I have never felt so right in my life. I have never felt this good. I know that when I am able to achieve this, I can finally enjoy it. I can finally bath in it.
:-)
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30 April 2011
Weigh-in:
146.0 lb
lost so far:
13.0 lb
still to go:
0 lb
Diet followed poorly
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losing 0.6 lb a week
21 April 2011
Weigh-in:
146.8 lb
lost so far:
12.2 lb
still to go:
0 lb
Diet followed poorly
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losing 0.3 lb a week
16 April 2011
Weigh-in:
147.0 lb
lost so far:
12.0 lb
still to go:
0 lb
Diet followed poorly
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losing 14.0 lb a week
12 April 2011
Gosh, running has gotten to be so boring. I tried to make it more interesting by mixing it with some walk/sprint. But most of the time I feel like it's so boring. I did tempo run today and it was nice, but I feel like I'm not challenging myself enough.
As for the eating, wow, the way I have been eating is not that healthy as I thought. I had always thought that I was a healthy and balance eater. But from reading some of my food journal previously and from this site, I learned that I snack way too much on carbs and heavy starchy stuff: donut, rice cakes, rice chips, even muffins, cheesecake. I don't eat that much fruits. I do eat vegetables but not a lot. Well it doesn't seem like a lot.
Perhaps my biggest culprit to the weight gain is from the CARBs and the snacking. And this I also learned: I don't drink enough water. Like I drink water, but not enough to flush the toxins out of my system. Like I feel like if I drink water everytime I craved for a starchy snack that would help me a lot.
Lastly, I find that in the evening I like to snack a lot. Argh! Like I want to put everything in my mouth. And with me thinking too much about the 'calories' I feel like all I can think about is food, food, food.
- I think right after a workout, I should drink a protein shake.
- I think I need to eat the carbs in the morning, and more protein and veggies throughout the day. I feel more full if I eat carbs (no cereal though as I feel like it doesn't do anything for me...).
- I think I need to add more fruits/veggies in my snacking process. I like fruits and veggies and prefer them over donuts - but why is it that I grab a donut before an apple? Hmmm.... good question to think about.
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