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24 October 2016

Hey sweet things. I've been living without worrying about carbs, protein, fiber, etc........ I experienced my first scrapper's retreat in the woods of VA. It was such a wonderful weekend! Meeting people you have been speaking to for many, many years....being able to give them a hug and hang out with a bottle of vino...we had a blast! Also was my first time flying alone. Also my first time getting a full padding down by a TSA bitch. I mean really.....a 68 yr old woman in a wheel chair...do I look like a freakin terrorist! Well, she checked every place she could and then checked my hands for residue! This being a new experience left me feeling so violated! But if it meant going through this again to meet up with my friends, I'd do it again. Memories were made.... I mean this city slicker saw deer from the lovely porch .... loved everything about this little trip. OK....not the TSA bitch...but everything else D.

The following week I threw my youngest son a surprise 40th birthday party. Friends, family, food, drink, food, drink, food...... My baby turning 40!!!!!! Of course, the thought of eating healthy has still not entered my thought pattern.

The again, the following weekend my son's band Solace in Ruins, opened for Tracii Guns and Enuf Z Nuf. So dh and I take a ride to go see them play. Traveling time should have been 3 hours total.....Friday night on the LIE....6 hours!!! Bless my dh....he never once complained. It was so awesome watching and listening to his band. Not my kind of music, but I can still appreciate their style.

That being said, I have not given a thought to diet. My life was filled with all exciting stuff....planning, doing, enjoying!!!!

According to the scale, I lost a pound, yet when I think back, I ate everything that I would never!!! Need to sort this all out.....in the mean time, I'll take the one pound loss!
Weigh-in: 212.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 47.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (5 comments) losing 0.3 lb a week

03 October 2016

Weigh-in: 213.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 48.0 lb Diet followed poorly
   (4 comments) losing 0.3 lb a week

12 September 2016

Weigh-in: 214.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 49.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (1 comment) gaining 2.0 lb a week

09 September 2016

Hey dearies!

I had a second nerve block to my spine yesterday. Scary stuff ..... I woke up in the recovery room with pain greater than when I went in. They had to give me some morphine into the IV. Knocked me right out and I slept for an hour. When I got home I did the ice packs and some meds....today I'm feeling 50% better and for that I am so very grateful.

I noticed that I fasted for 20 hours yesterday and it didn't seem to bother me....I wasn't starving....just missed my java.

I want to get this weight off so badly...but I want it to happen faster than it is so again I am leaning toward LCHF. I am meeting some online friends next month...I knew this for 6 months....I could have lost the weight by now....and didn't....and I am so pissed at myself. But I still can't wait to get together...we will be 11 women on a retreat in the countryside of VA. Just hope the bears don't want to visit!!!! :)

I removed the pics I put of myself .... every time I came on and saw the pics, I got so many mixed feelings and for the most part it brought me to a sad place. When I saw the pics of me at 316 lbs it brought back all the teasing and bullying I went through my whole life. I was always fat. I was always the fattest in my classes; the fattest in my group of friends; fattest of my sisters; fattest...... On top of that I was born with a clubfoot....so I had to wear oxfords when all the girls wore such pretty shoes. And I tripped a lot....have two size feet....teasing. And if that wasn't enough I wore glasses since 12 yrs of age...so now I was the 4-eyed, fatty, with the ugly shoes...oh, and then there was the acne stage. So, I removed the pics....unfortunately I can't remove the memories. Even at my age, some of those memories have me tearing up. Silly woman!!!

the end.

carry on :)

Geez.....talk about losing my mind! The reason I decided to journal was because of a post by LadyinDenim regarding statins and their relationship to dementia. I've been on statins for years and lately my short-term memory leaves much to be desired. Need to get with my dr about this. My cholesterol readings have all been perfect. Don't know if it's the meds or me....maybe time to get off the meds....don't know if I've already done damage that can't be undone. My mama had dementia.....she was bedridden the last 3 years of her life....she lived with me and dh...so I saw first hand how dementia robs one slowly and daily. I don't want to go down that path.

now, carry on......

05 September 2016

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