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14 August 2019

14 August 2019

Weigh-in: 290.5 lb lost so far: 9.5 lb still to go: 150.5 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 4.6 lb a week

13 August 2019

12 August 2019

Weigh-in: 291.8 lb lost so far: 8.2 lb still to go: 151.8 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment gaining 0.3 lb a week

05 August 2019

I am feeling somewhat melancholy about weight loss and wellness in general. I look back at all the times I lost a bunch of weight and how happy I was and how I thought, "this is it!" I'm finally on track. And then next thing you know, I go from maintaining to gaining and I'm back where I started. To be fair, I've always been very impatient and my go-to is extreme diets that cannot be maintained forever. I always used to say, "that's fine, I just need to get down to x weight and _then_ I can find a WOE that is sustainable." That clearly is not working out for me. So... we try the slow and sustainable route from the outset this time. But I still need to manage the part of my brain that wants what it wants RIGHT NOW!, whether that be a slice of warm, freshly-made bread, or to get into the next size down by the weekend.

So, when I see people rejoicing over hitting a milestone, I want to be happy for them, but, the hardened resigned side of me is always whispering, "how long will it last?"

Looks like I still have some work to do in the area of gratefulness, of being present, of accepting things as they are and loving myself at every size. I am my own worst critic. Today I am shaking off this cynicism and standing in a new way of thinking. I am beautiful, brilliant, kind and UNSTOPPABLE!

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