amanda123's Journal, 20 September 2010

That's not all fat, some of that weight gain is water. You will lose it again. But maybe your body is wanting a little more carbs than it is getting right now. Maybe try a modified Atkins where you can eat a few more carbs and still lose. There is also carb cycling where you have higher and lower carb days. Google it if you are interested. 

Thanks Suzi, can you or anyone else tell me how carb rotation works? I tried to google it but I could only find plans that wanted money to show me what you are supposed to do. Thanks. 

Amanda, we all have eating disorders. The 1st step is admitting it. Now you just need to work on what steps you can take to avoid falling victim to your addictions. Your not alone though. I was there the week I was dealing with my cousin missing. After all this time I though I had overcome it. But I think that somewhere deep it's still there in all of us. I agree with Suzi - I doubt you gained 6 pounds of fat in a week. Get back to a strict induction, up your water, and throw away all that terrible junk from the house. That weight will be gone before you know it. 

I have seen where people do 100 carbs on Monday, 75 carbs on Tuesday, 50 Carbs on Wednesday, 75 Carbs on Thursday, 100 Carbs on Friday and 0 Carbs on Saturday and Sunday. I would NEVER be able to do zero carbs on the weekend but maybe you can change the 2 days you don't eat carbs to like Monday and Tuesday or Wednesday and thursday. Following the carb cycle but shifting the days to fit your schedule. 

Here is a link I founbd-although I am not recommending this if you are staying with Atkins: http://hubpages.com/hub/Low-Carb-Cycling-for-Weight-Loss-and-Maintenance  

well, of course the link won't show up right! I Googled "carb cycling" and the first result was a beginners guide 

Since you're having carb issues perhaps induction is too strict. Why not move on o OWL and have a higher carb intake. Or maybe switch entirely to weight watchers. You can have carbs, just portion them out. 

Amanda - just go w/ me on this for a minute...take a BIG deep breath!! Yeck, take two or three, and really let go of the tension and stress, just focus on your breathing for a minute or two. Ok, now close your eyes and think about who you are RIGHT now! Not who you used to be. Not yesterday. Not the foods you eat. Or don't eat. Just think about YOU. Are you happy with you? Do you like the size you are now? If today was Day One...really, DAY ONE...would you choose this way of eating and start on Atkins today? Take a good long, hard look at yourself...and if what you really want is to RE-Energize your Motivations...than this should do the trick. Most people spend a lot of time looking back...pros and cons really...but you can get caught up in thinking things like 'hey, I look a lot better than I used to...etc.' And if you are happy where you are currently! Great!! More power to ya...just ease into Maintainance and off you go.... But if you thought 'yeah, if today was Day One, I would still want to make some changes...i am not yet where I want to be...than you CONTROL you...re set those goals, re-establish your commitment, re-develop a plan that works for YOU! Maybe adding more veggies in OWL, maybe selecting a berry or two that don't induce cravings...using nuts in some of your salads or recipes, or snacks...Either way, you've done an amazing job up til now. Amazing. And if you decide to go forward...YOU WILL SUCCEED...you have it in you...you've already proven that. Ok, you can open your eyes now!!! LOL! 

Baby Okie girl... Many of us have been there...done that. I am a card carrying member of the "food for comfort" team... or should that be carb-carrying? You can do this..and you are worth it. One week of poor choices is just that... one little ol, teensy weensy week. Psssh... let it go...shake it off and back to taking care of yourself. (hug) 

jsfantome - you are so funny. You remind me of my spanish teacher. In the beginning I was always freaking out and sending her paniced e-mails and she would respond to me much like you.... JUST BREATHE! Ok when I look at myself and this was Day One - I would go with Atkins again. It works, my psoriasis is under control, I have energy, I feel great not bloated and yucky. Am I happy with myself right now? Yes - absolutely. I love that I am accomplishing so much with my life right now. I am going back to school and losing weight and have a wonderful family. I tend to demand alot out of myself and then get stressed to the max when I can't accomplish it all. I am not happy with my body right now. I don't know what I look like? I honestly don't. I must be really insecure or something because when we are out I ask my husband or sister or whoever I am with "Is my butt as big as that lady's?" "Am I that fat?" I am not fishing for complements - I really can't see what I look like. There is a girl at work who wears a size 18 - same as me and to me she looks bigger than me. I know her legs are bigger b/c I was sitting by her in a meeting the other day and I could see that hers were bigger.... sigh.... My mom is 5'4" and 220 and she looks smaller than I do? I am 3" taller than her but we can wear the same size? Anyways - here's the thing. I KNOW Atkins works for me if I stick to it. Carb cycling sounds tempting but I would probably mess it up because I would have a hard time counting up to 100 carbs and would forget which day was which. I am going back to what works but once I get closer to my goal I need to find a good way to maintain. I told my husband he better get my bicycle up and running because I am going to start using it ASAP. I feel like my body has shrunk but is still globby & undesirable so I want to tone some of this flab. :) 

Amanda, if you can - go back to your old journals. Remind yourself why you began this journey. I know its hard to find your motivation when you've fallen off the wagon but you can do this. Please don't take this as a lecture because I am speaking in part to myself at this time. After all the chaos with my cousin and eating everything and nothing I am really trying to find my reasons to come back. But we do deserve to be successful don't we? We do deserve to get our asses back in gear and prove to noone but ourselves that we are worthy. Nothing can be better than proving to ourselves we can do it. I am here for you anytime you need. We can do this Amanda.  

Amanda, I am so proud of all the progress you have made! You have really lost a lot of weight. And yes, sometimes it is hard to find your motivation, especially when you are busy with school and kids, life in general can sometimes get in the way! I understand. I have been there. I have been there recently. You know what it took to get me outof my doldrums??? All it took was a look at the picture that started this all. The one that my son took in January in which I looked old, washed out, worn out, and FAT!! I have been sruggling with a stall for the last 36 days! I have been so tempted to just throw in the towel. But I didn't, because I don't want to go back to where I was. I felt horrid, I was tired, I had no energy, I lacked gumption (a term my FIL used to use), I wasn't living, I was existing. And you know what I did? I sat down and started investigating what caused me to stall, when it began, and I used this stall as a test of my commitment to this new way of life!! I figured it out, changed it, and today when I weighed, I was down a pound. Not a lot, but a move in the right direction......I have been your buddy since you joined this site. I have watched you struggle to stay the course, time and time again. I have helped you everytime you needed it. Now I am going to tell you to get back on that wagon, get your butt in gear and do this, because I know you can. This is the time that you fall off every time you lose weight. You are at a critical juncture, and now is not the time to back slide, but is instead the time to re-dedicate yourself to this lifestyle. Remember where you were, and think about where you are, and most importantly, picture where you want to be. We will be right here. That is what ATKINS SUPPORT AND MOTIVATION is all about. Help, support, motivation, and when needed a little extra push to get you going! lol Don't let the number 220 win this time! If you need me, I am just a pm away!  

Thanks everyone - yall are all so sweet and helpful. I found a picture of me the other day that is a real eye opener. It was taken March 16th 2010 and I weighed about 285 or so. I will try and post it tonight if I have time. It is not a flattering picture but I know that is what I looked like. Stef & Keli you are right - I need to give myself a kick in the rear and get back at it. I am going to the grocery store at lunch and stocking the work fridge with acceptable foods. Hubby is going to the grocery store after work and doing the same for home..... oh and don't worry about me throwing out the junk food. I don't have to throw it out, I already ate it all!!! LOL! 

awwww little-little. :) 

Good for you, Amanda!! Be strong! We are all strong, capable women, who happen to have a dysfunctional relationship with food, especially carbs!!! We cannot eat them like other people do, and when we give in to that temptation, then the carbs, thae fat, and the weight win!!!! Buck up GF, you can and will do this!!!! Now, onward to goal!!!!! 

And Amanda that is why I don't but any of that food anymore. The only junk food in this house is nuts (almond and macadamia) and pork rinds!! They are safe for us to eat. I keep the nuts in the other room, on the shelves with all the homemade jellies and jams. Nuts are something that I allow myself to have on rare occasions, since I have a very hard time controlling how many I eat!  

Hi Amanda. You have some great buddies here... feel the love? :) Everyone is right, you are allowing stress to take control and you are stronger than that. You have proved that already. Just remember that today is the first day of the rest of your life. I also wanted to show you this website that has photos of people by various weights and heights. It helps with a visual of what people look like at different sizes. Check it out... it is quite interesting :) www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodies/heightweight 

Darn it. that link got screwed up. it is this below using www (and without the spaces between the / ) cockeyed.com / photos / bodies / heightweight 

Amanda, I bet that since you tend to demand alot of yourself...that in the beginning you demanded alot from this way of eating. You likely attacked learning about it, like you would if you were in a class or something. That's a great personality trait to have...cause you're gonna need it to move into OWL. This way of eating, as you well know, is NOT just Induction + Maintainance. So, it sounds like it's time for you to up your game to the next level. You have a little repair damage control from last week, so...a good clean induction level eating for a week should do your body good!!! And that will give you time to start educating yourself on the OWL phase of this process. You have just experiened what many people go through when they hang out in Induction for a rather long time (especially thinking they will lose the most weight in induction, so...that must be accomplished first? right? wrong.) If you fall, and binge for a week and come back to this site and get it all back together...no harm, no foul...but what if this set back had derailed you? Or left you, like it has done to countless others, feeling ashamed and unable to come back and face their stuff...well, you'd still be binging and gaining. So, in an effort to avoid this...I think you should seriously consider finding your way through at least the first couple of rungs on the OWL ladder. Adding back slowly some new varieties of lower carb veggies, some limited fruits, and some nuts and natural peanut butter (if you system can tolerate these...) will really help in you not feeling a sense of being deprived. And you can continue to LOSE in OWL...it is quite possible and is very successful for most. (granted some are highly carb intolerant...but you will need to learn this through the process of trial and error) but it's a challenge. And a discipline. And it will keep your mind occupied on the good things of making this continued lifestyle work for you...all things I think in the end will help you continue long term. Knowledge is power. So if today is day one again...go attack learning about how to move this train forward without derailing yourself again. (you've got a lot of great friends on board with you...and that alone will get you through the tough spots). You are blessed. Happy losing!! 

I AM feelin the love! ha ha ha! I checked out that site RedHolly and that is really cool. I wish they had more photos and seperated it by men and women. I saw a girl who was close to my weight/height and she was dressed in a revealing dress posing all sexy like. I get such a kick out of that. I have a friend who does that. She has a ton of pictures of herself trying to look hot lol! You know I wasn't like that even when I did look good..... correction - my best friend and I did that once when we were 17 but I would never put them where everyone could see them or anything - I just pull the pictures out for a laugh now & then. I just wonder when I see overweight girls doing this... where does that confidence come from or are you just full of yourself? LOL! I just know at the weight I am now you would never see me in a revealing anything - I would die from embarassment.