|
Distressed. Distressed.Much as I would like to deny it, but the urge to eat is REALLY back to haunt me again...Seriously anxious now... Haiz. The cravings I have usually come to me at night. At around 5pm or so....and that was the time when I felt most helpless. It's like binge eating. Except I don't purge. The food is just in me. And there it lies. In my stomach. And still I ate. Stuffing myself like this. It scares me sometimes. And,oh, how I wish with all my might that the craving would go away. A voice in me tells me to stop. I hears it....but never could respond. It's too soft. Too far away at the back of my mind. And it was not until it became too late. When my stomach felt a little upset, did it manage to break through the glass wall it was trapped within.So loud, it would scream. To tell me to stop. And I did stop then. But. The guilt. It rang within me, an echo from the scream that had asked me to stop. Sighs... Can't help to write this way.It makes it feel less real. Like I am telling a story. How I wish it was so. I chose to write it here because I really don't know where else I could write to. Feel so alone now. It hurts.
Diet Calendar Entry for 14 August 2014:
|
3207 kcal
|
Fat: 159.16g | Prot: 124.71g | Carb: 347.67g.
Breakfast: Date, Milk. Lunch: Peas (Mature Seeds, Sprouted), Steamed Fish, Brown Rice. Dinner: Sesame Seeds, Spaghetti. Snacks/Other: Dry Roasted Sunflower Seed Kernels (without Salt), Pear, Apples, Oranges, Nutella Nutella. more...
|
|