alllicat's Journal, 12 April 2010

This weekend was insane. But I managed to drop another pound. Thank goodness. I'm trying to lose 2lbs every week. That'll put me at my goal sometime in August. I doubt that'll be exactly when it happens, but everyone needs a little wishful thinking.

I'm going on vacation to Jamaica this year. I'll be there July 23 until July 30th. According to my bio page, I should be 143lbs by then, but as I'm sure you've figured out, I'd like to be a bit less than that. Maybe like 135 or so. Now that I have something to work towards, like an exact date, I'm going to definitely try to hit that mark. It's a long way off. About, 15 weeks. So, hopefully, I'll be able to get down to where I would like to be. I've just got to keep working out and eating right.

Honestly, when I look back at all the failed attempts that I've had over the past few years, I wonder what made this time work. Was it because I was so close to being 200lbs that it finally woke me up? Was it that I was scared to have to start shopping in the plus sized sections? Was it because I was lying to myself all this time, saying that I didn't care if I was overweight, all that mattered was who I was on the inside? I don't know what sent me over the edge to start this new lifestyle, but all I know is that I like it. I honestly cannot believe that I've lost 40 lbs. That's a lot of weight. That is my friend's 4 year old daughter that I've lost. I know that like age, weight is just a number, and it depends on when you feel right. But, it's a number that represents so much more. It represents your health, your future, your survival rate. With high weight comes so many problems that are preventable.

I cannot remember the last time I weighed in the 150s. It very well may have been when I was a junior in high school, so 10 years ago. I just want the number to keep going down. Some people may read my journal and think that now I'm obsessed with weighing less and exercising, and you may not think that it's the healthiest thing, but since I've started this, I've quit smoking, I've dramatically cut down on drinking alcohol. I now have daily exercise in my life, I've lost 3 pant sizes. What can be better than that? Sure, the inside is important, the type of person you are, your personality and your brain. I'll always agree on that, but sometimes it's nice to look in the mirror and like what you see. I now see a person who I like. I have more confidence, but right now, I've only scratched the surface of finding my true self. I'm not hiding under 40lbs of extra me. That was a mask I put on.

I'm halfway there. I'm halfway to me.

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636 kcal

Fat: 7.77g | Prot: 77.91g | Carb: 72.36g.   Breakfast: Vitalicious Golden Corn Vitatops. Lunch: Borden Cheese Singles, Horseradish Sauce, 100% Whole Wheat Hoagie Rolls, Turkey Breast Meat. Dinner: My Super-Duper 100% Spicy Buffalo Chicken Dip, Fiber One Original Cereal, Perdue Skinless Boneless Chicken. Snacks/Other: Quality Gummi Bears. more...

3204 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Running - 10/mph - 1 hour, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 6 hours and 15 minutes, Desk Work - 8 hours and 45 minutes. more...