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Gum is my saviour today. Bubblemint. Pina Colada. Those are my two flavors for the day. It's not the wanting to smoke that's hard. It's driving. It's part of my daily routine. Engrained in me. I have to break that habit. It's not easy. I didn't think about it at lunch, but then someone came in to fill out an application and she smelt like a cigarette. It really triggered me. Now, I'm in withdrawals. It's really all I can think about.
I was down again this morning, I couldn't do the full fast. It seemed too easy to me, which is why I didn't do it. I could see that becoming a bad habit of mine, which I do not want to reinforce. I had some chicken for dinner which was really good.
First day, no soda, no problem. I know I need to get through the first three days and it'll get easier. I need to let the nicotine out of my system. When I quit last year, I used the patch for a week, and then went off the patch and off the cigarettes. I only really started smoking again because Joe did, and I felt like if he could do it, then I could. Stupid thinking. That's how I got to where I am today. I quit almost year ago. For about 5 months, I felt like I was on top of the world. Food tasted better, which is probably why I gained about 25lbs. I have better eating habits and exercise habits now, but I'm still really scared that I'm going to gain the weight that I've lost back.
I know if I just keep watching my intake, and then my output of exercise, I should be fine. I just get so nervous. I gained so much weight last time, and I'm just getting back to where I was last year. I mean I have a completely different job now, last time I was working in a restaurant where I was eating that crap everyday. Bread, french fries, onion strings, candied pecans, and everything bad under the sun. Now I'm in the office, and all I eat is what I bring with me. Now I know what to eat, I eat it, and now that I know what not to eat, I steer clear of it.
Not a lot of my friends smoke, but Joe still is, for now. It's terrible. I'm just scared that my chart is going to take a sharp turn in the wrong direction.
Yikes! I'm certainly Debbie Downer today,
Diet Calendar Entries for 17 February 2010:
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881 kcal
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Fat: 25.43g | Prot: 56.77g | Carb: 108.00g.
Breakfast: Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla Coffee, Egg White and Cheese Wake Up Wrap. Lunch: Heinz Reduced Sugar Ketchup, Borden Cheese Singles, Spicy Black Bean Burger. Dinner: Wholly Guacamole Spicy, Rotel, Yellow Corn Tortillas, Tilapia (Fish). Snacks/Other: Smart Pop Butter Popcorn, Fiber One Chewy Bars - Oats & Peanut Butter. more...
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2233 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 7 hours and 15 minutes, Desk Work - 8 hours and 45 minutes. more...
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