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Just a total abandon and just don't know how to get motivated and get back on track. Yesterday (Sunday) I had a large, thin crust pizza all by myself! Day before yesterday (Saturday) was good control over breakfast and lunch, but ended up gorging myself at a party..crackers, chips, cupcake, cookies, macaroni and cheese and 2 glasses of wine. The day before that (Friday) had good lunch but chinese for dinner, and then 2 glasses of wine, and some cheese and 2 crackers. Thursday night was really bad as I had bread, pizza, cheese and crackers, 2 glasses of wine, etc. One of the nights I actually went in the gym, got changed etc. and worked out with weights--for all of 15 mins!!! And then left!! Whatever happend to those 3 hour long workouts?? Was that just me just a month ago? UN-Fricken-Believable!!
I really need to do some serious damage control here! I have two days and then my trips begin! I hope not to eat badly on these trips. I need a new game plan. And all 4 days before going, I want to do serious workouts!! And when I'm there, I want to try and do some workout as well. Wish my determination wasn't this wavering. I feel all strong when I journal here but then lose heart in the heat of the moment.
Though the scale hasn't registered the nightly damage, it might be that I am gaining fat and all that strong muscle is losing! If I get back on track and eat right and workout AND THEN SEE A GAIN, that would be cause to now get excited as it would mean I've begun gaining muscle!! So now that's the goal to shoot for!!! sounds funny, but it makes sense.
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