Eidetiker's Journal, 24 February 2021

It's always nice to get a compliment from your mother. ❤ 

Yes, I've had issues with my weight before with my parents so it's nice for them just to compliment :) 

I always thought it was odd that my parents first comment when seeing me was about my weight and in those years I wasn't overweight. I guess it was just an observation, but still I didn't like it, so I don't do that to my adult children. We are made up of more than merely our current weight. ❤ 

Ccandco, it used to upset me too when my parents commented on my weight, especially my dad, though I have to say they thankfully didn't do it very often and not the first thing. But I had other relatives whose first comment was that I was either too skinny (and would place a plate of mac and cheese in front of me and watch me eat) or "getting too round" while pinching my arms or face. Omg. lol. 

Isn't that nice to hear! It's always nice when others notice! 💜💜 

@ccandco Yes, when I fly home, that's the first thing they say when they see me in person. "You've gained weight" or "you've lost weight". They claim that it's because they're concerned about my health. If they were, I felt like they should've been asking, have you exercised or ate healthily? I'm glad you are able to recognize it and not repeat the cycle. @LaughingChevre My dad too. I've had a lot of issues that I had to resolve internally because I saw him as the "bad guy". Eventually I just had to keep reminding myself he was trying to put me down to make himself feel better about his weight. @Diana 1234 Yes, it helps motivate me to keep going :) 

Yeah, it's tricky with parents. Both of my parents are gone now, but what helped me be content with my relationship with each of them was acknowledging reality, as far as the person they are/were, while also recognizing what positives they offered and could be applied to my life. If I felt they, or anyone, was putting me down, intentionally or unintentionally, I would first decide to either go over it at a later time, (with myself) or counter the offensive comment or action by "proving" them wrong by bringing up "evidence" that I wasn't how they described me. Again, in my head. It worked for me and I learned over the years to accept myself as being a very sensitive person, but also to recognize when it wasn't about me . Thicker skin was developed as well as a quiet confidence. We can't control other's behavior, only how we react to it. ❤ 

@Eidetiker That's one of my problems too. When some people who are close to me says "You've gained weight" I tend to get defensive. I know they are right most of the time but, I take things to heart especially when I know I had been trying to get things straight with myself. 

Thats so great! 

@ccandco, that is a healthy way of dealing with the situation. Thank you for sharing with us, it definitely is a lifelong learning thing to control our reactions. @morganstuart I know, it's pretty difficult when you already know it's something you're struggling with and they point it out. It's almost like they are pouring salt on the wound. But ccandco has a great ideas on coping with it, it really is a mental battle as well. As long as we don't stop trying! Eventually we will all get there :) 

Thank you @bearnoggin, I like your handle :D 

THE FACE IS ALWAYS ONE OF THE FIRST GIVE AWAYS 

Yes I agree it’s the face that always gives it away and it was so nice that you talked to your mom and she was able to see that! Take care and have a awesome day!😊