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Torture. That's what my weight is. It's pure torture. Why is food such an enemy? Why does it control me?
I have been off the wagon since my last entry and have completely pretty much eaten everything, anything and as much of it as I've wanted. Today hubby took my photo in a black hat for his parents. I look horrible. My face has exploded. I put it side-by-side with the one taken in Jan 2006 - three year and about 35 lbs ago (I would guess.)
Hubby has taken my scale down stairs - out of sight out of mind, so I don't know how much I weigh. I'm going to go down stairs right now and get it. It's mine. I need to weight myself every day. I NEED TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT. I AM NOT HAPPY. FOOD HAS NOT MADE ME HAPPY. Hubby's b-day is in four months. I can still lose a good 30lbs if I put my mind to it. I'm going to go get the scale and I'll be right back and record how much I weigh . . . hold on. . . . . . Drum roll: 168lbs!
I think my lowest when I was working on it in Oct. was 156 which means since then I've had a 12 pound swing IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. I will record this and tomorrow, well I guess today, starts another "Monday I go on a diet". I know South Beach/USANA/The Formula/Zone works when I work them. I need to take my measurements so I have those for record. If I want to be 117 that means I have 51 pounds to lose. That's just SICK. I know I can't lose that in the four months I have until hubby's birthday, but certainly I should be able to be in my 130s which is where I was when we got married. I HAVE GOT to do this. I'm so not happy. I'm lazy. I am not motivated. I am a procrastinator. I have no clothes to wear.
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I lost the amount you're looking to lose in that amount of time...but I did not cheat. Not once. You can look through my journal back in last Oct. 07, Nov and the holidays of '07. I had icing glop onto my finger and I RAN like I had injured myself to the kitchen sink to rinse it off screaming out loud the whole way, "Nothing taste as good as thin feels!" You CAN do it but you have to simply decide...youre ready to and you're going to. Be prepared. Have all your food items and even those tasty allowable choices on hand. Make sure that you set yourself up for success! You and I sound the same, both 5'2 (Im actually 5'2 and three quarters) and even at 120, I didn't look so hot in a bathing suit. BUT the good news is..I do now! You can do it. You can have even a better body than you had when you were 25. I have a few tips for women our age and size with our weight amount we lose so email me, I'll fill ya in. Exfoliate your skin, your tummy and rear end while in the shower. THIS will help! I have a million tips I'd be more than happy to share with ya. You just decide if you want it, if you're going to do it or not and you say Yes or No. You CAN do this... so are you in?
11 Jan 09 by member: ImLuuvd
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