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I feel like a fraud.
All the kudos to my journal entry from day before yesterday seems to have been too premature.
Yes, I've lost some weight. But I haven't mastered these bad habits, nor developed new ones as consistently.
The mind is such an awful game-player!
I thought I was out of the woods, and it'll be near-automatic from this point on. Yeah right! (That's sarcasm, of course).
If someone else said all this, I'd be saying to them, "celebrate your success--don't minimize the success...you're doing good..you'll get there..don't get discouraged...go and work out and you'll feel better...yada yada..". Why is easy to preach than practice?! I guess that's why I'm in the line of teaching.
But, anyhow, I say the words--but don't do the tasks. Hence I feel like a fraud.
Was almost not going to journal today as well...easy to just slink away and hide in a corner..but that'd be two days in a row--not good!
I wish there were a pill out there that made you feel like a consistent energizer bunny--in mind and body!!
Saving grace: I didn't say "I AM a fraud", but only that I feel like one. That means, even I know that I am indeed DOING SOME things--not just talking about them--albiet, they may not be to the extent and quantity as I'd like them to be. So, not a complete fraud.
Hoping I'll be able to redeem this day from this point forward.
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 Comments
Confession is good for the soul! I'm sure you feel better getting that out of your system. From an objective point of view, you shouldn't feel like a fraud. If you do, then I should, too! We all make promises to ourselves with the best intentions but it isn't always easy to keep them. Does that mean we should stop making promises to ourselves? Heck no! That's what got us in trouble in the first place - giving up. So kudos for you for coming here to deal with how you feel. You are not alone. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward. Every day we wake up above ground is a good day!
23 May 08 by member: evelyn64
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Thanks, Evelyn! "Every day we wake up above ground is a good day!" Indeed! I feel a little better...though, I am still annoyed at myself...If I knew someone else who made as many promises as I make to myself, and then keep breaking those promises, I'd think they were a flake and give up on them!! So, yeah, making and breakign promises is only human, and we need to continue making promises to ourselves...but it does get dissappointing when you constantly let yourself down! Ok, I'm gonna get up and do something about that...Thanks!
23 May 08 by member: 08willbegreat
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I second everything wise evelyn said. For what it's worth, I still think you are awesome.
23 May 08 by member: massiverally
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