Joined April 2014
Weight History

Start Weight
165.0 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb

Current Weight
165.0 lb
Performance: gaining 0.2 lb a week

Goal Weight
130.0 lb
Still to go: 35.0 lb
I am a 45 year old mother of three who enjoys reading, baking, and road trips. My family and I recently moved back to Kentucky after 10 years in Oregon and are enjoying being home with family and old friends again, even though we do miss the splendor of the Pacific Northwest wilderness. As far as weight, I am someone who always ate anything that wouldn't eat me first and maintained a very thin body despite this. Through my twenties, I cultivated the most awful eating habits anyone can imagine and essentially lived on sugar. After having my daughter when I was 28, I began to cook and eat somewhat more responsibly, but obviously it was too little too late and pregnancy/childbirth initiated a weight gain spiral that I have never gotten out of since (17 years ago). Since having a hysterectomy last year, I have gained even more weight, particularly in my stomach, for a lifetime high of 165 that I am attempting to reverse finally. I am a social worker by profession, although I have not worked since we moved across the country last June, and am enjoying my family and the opportunity to "nest" in a new (to us) home. My husband and I have been together 20 years and married almost 18 and I have a 17 year old daughter, a 15 year old son, and a 5 year old daughter. Next year I will have a college freshman and a kindergartner! Life has been good to me and I want to stay healthy so I can have many years left to enjoy it. (By the way, my username, "pioneermom" refers to the fact that my oldest daughter will be attending Transylvania University (Pioneers) next fall, not that I am a wood-chopping, egg-gathering, back-to-the-land Earth mother (only in my dreams--LOL).

pioneermom's Weight History


only visible to followers
last weighin: losing 1.2 lb a week Down

pioneermom's Latest Posts

There is no doubt in my mind that sugar is addictive. However, I am not so absurd as to claim that this addiction is physical. If I quit tomorrow, I wouldn't have DT's or have to go into a hospital to get through it. However, we are more than just bodies and addiction has a psychological/emotional component that I think is what sugar "addicts" experience. Obsessive thoughts (to the point of ruminating), lying about consumption ("I threw the rest of the cookies down the garbage disposal", aka--the garbage disposal of my stomach!), hiding/sneaking/dishonest behaviors (picking all the good stuff out of my kids' Easter baskets and denying it, hiding in the bathroom with the shower running to eat a bag of M & M's or half a box of cinnamon rolls), compulsive behaviors (not being able to wait for my sugar hit until I got home and eating cake in the grocery store parking lot with my fingers). I know this is disgusting and probably TMI, but if anyone does not think this is classic addictive behavior, I don't know what is. Sugar gives me a hit of pleasure so intense that I would literally do almost anything to get it no matter what damage it causes me or what the potential consequences are. I don't like alcohol and don't drink. I smoked a pack a day of Marlboro's from ages 21-26 and quit cold turkey the day my future husband told me he wouldn't marry a smoker (and never missed it). So, I think that what I am grappling with with refined sugar/carbs is something that I would have quit YEARS ago if I really could have without this crushing compulsion. Why on earth would I have let myself get to 165 pounds instead of stopping at 130 if I had any margin of emotional control over this? I am going to stop now because I am starting to sound strident even to myself. Nuff said, that's just my 2 cents worth. God bless all fellow sugar strugglers!
posted 23 Apr 2014, 18:40
Is It Just Me? Is My Idea of "Fat" Distorted Due To The Generation I Was Born Into?
This is a great thread and I have enjoyed reading and reflecting on this issue. First of all, I have also found that when people comment to me, "You aren't overweight. You look great", which happens fairly regularly, I am mystified. I love myself, but I am not delusional and at 5'4"/165, Hell, yeah, I am overweight. Although I do not want to be as thin as the weight charts, my doctor, or my husband would like, I am not crazy enough to think that where I am at is fine, either. I was born in 1968 and grew up in the eighties. There were less than 10 overweight kids in my entire school. Ever. Now, there are probably 10 per classroom by high school. This skews the perspective of what "normal" weight actually is. Rolls of fat hanging off the midriff, drooping upper arms, back fat, thick ankles/calves/wrists are not normal human attributes, yet we see them all the time, and often rocking a belly shirt, depending upon where you live. We need a happy, HEALTHY medium. Good, fresh, non toxic food prepared mindfully and consumed intentionally will go a long way toward creating meaningful food relationships in our very damaged culture. By the way, I am married to a French Canadian, and he took me to Canada right after our son was born when I was 30 years old. I weighed 135 pounds and thought I looked great (still like me at that weight, actually), but let me tell you that I was definitely bigger than any woman I saw in Montreal. We were there 3 days and I was so starved by the second day that I was ready to literally make a run for the border for my super-size fix. The difference? Canadians ate small portions of good food, slowly, and did not snack. The average adult female was anywhere from a size 2-6 and they were all sleek, confident, and poised. Seriously, it sounds like hyperbole, but there was a VERY NOTICEABLE difference between American appearance and Quebecois. Just sayin....
posted 18 Apr 2014, 21:39
If you ever figure it out, please let me know. I am finding that I wake up with a high level of motivation that continues until about 4:00 pm and then my sugar/carbohydrate cravings really intensify. Some days I stay strong and on track, but many days I do not. A friend of mine struggled with sugar cravings and food urges so overwhelming in the evening that she went to bed at 6:00 for an entire week because the only way not to eat was to not be conscious! This is no silly little addiction. Sugar cravings are powerful and real and almost impossible to control for the addict and I completely empathize with you. If I didn't have a young child I have to take care of, I would follow in my friend's footsteps and go to bed early, too, just to avoid having to deal with the depressing battle of my food weaknesses.
posted 18 Apr 2014, 21:15
appitiete suppressants
I have been on both Bontril and Phentermine and lost dramatically with both. I went from being someone who eats constantly to having no appetite whatsoever. It was great--no willpower required and the pounds just dropped off. BUT, after going off them, I regained it all and an extra 15 to boot. So not worth it. I thought that if the weight came off fast I would be motivated to keep it off, but that wasn't true. I hadn't learned anything and went right back to square one. Right now, for the first time in my life, I am trying dieting WITH FOOD (what a concept, right?) and I feel great and see immediate consequences of behavioral choices I make about what to put in my mouth. Without new thoughts and behavior patterns, lasting change cannot happen. For this reason, appetite suppressants are just making the problem worse. I would never advise anyone to succumb to the temptation to use them unless you do it knowing from the beginning that you will ultimately end up fatter when you go off them and you can live with that.
posted 10 Apr 2014, 13:26
pioneermom has submitted 4 posts

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pioneermom's journal

02 September 2014

AFter giving up and basically forgetting about this for months, I decided last week to get back in the saddle. Today I started a new plan that is just ...
on diet Low Carb Diet Plan  

23 April 2014

Went to first follow up visit with weight doctor yesterday and he was very pleased that I am down a few pounds in two weeks. With my history of liquid ...
on diet Low Carb Diet Plan  

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