showing entries 1 to 5 of 29
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06 December 2012

Weigh-in: 165.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 20.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment gaining 1.8 lb a week

28 November 2012

Weigh-in: 163.0 lb lost so far: 2.0 lb still to go: 18.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 0.1 lb a week

03 October 2012

Weigh-in: 164.0 lb lost so far: 1.0 lb still to go: 19.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 2.3 lb a week

30 September 2012

Weigh-in: 165.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 20.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 2.2 lb a week

08 September 2012

First journal entry in months,years? I look back at how much weight I had lost.. I was just almost there. So I went full on sabotage.

I been hiding. Inside,from myself,others,and mostly under a thicker and thicker layer of fat.. I went so far as to think I'd rather be fat and not to care.
Just stay home,eat.Grocery shopping at costco,or binge and eat 12 crispy cream donuts in one sitting. I'll just buy bigger clothes,even prego pants,with the stretch band,who needs a waist line???

I don't need people,I got my kids,right?

They always love me. Say I'm pretty,I'm mot fat.
"You had 3 kids,cancer,a broken spine Mom,you are just great the way you are!!" Why thank you guys,lets order pizza,or fried chicken,I'd have McDonalds but my good stretch leggings are in the washer..
And then. One day,I was trying to bend forward in the car and I swear I felt the roll of skin under my right breast sort of detach from
my ribs.. Had I finally reached the level where your skin floats on top of layers of fat? Really? Nah,let's put heavy cream in my coffee..

I'm a single Mom. I'm 35. Pretty girl. Use to be fit.
I met smart,interesting men,with a career,self-confidence,no anger issues. And I just started to think that it was time to accept I was going to have to find a man I was not attracted to,cause come on,look at me..
I don't know when exactly but I just got sick of it. I'm controlled my fat. I have chosen not to live to eat and hide.

In december 2011 I weighted 195lbs. 5 lbs less than at the term of my 3rd pregnancy,when I had gestational diabetes and a 9lbs 7 ounces baby.. In june,I was still around 190..
August 15th,I'm at 186. My teen daughter,my beauty,this wonder of mine with no eating disorder or body issues, told me she was 130lbs,at 5'6. She wears medium sized clothes. 130.. 130.. I can do that. I could be like that.
She left for Italy for 16 days the day after.
Today the scale said 172lbs ... Just keep going. No deadline,no more trying to be skinny for some guy,or some social happening.

I'm about to become myself. The adult I never was. No more hiding.

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