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12 November 2015

This week has been stressful and emotional so far, I'm glad it's almost the weekend. The funeral for my supervisor who passed away was on Tuesday and that was hard. I'm so glad all my co-workers went too and we were able to share a good cry together. I usually hold back my tears, but I didn't at the funeral and I'm glad I let it out. It was a very sad day, but it has just brought up so many good things about him that have put a smile on people's faces, we're all better for having known him.

Work has been hectic with helping plan some things for the funeral and then just busy on top of that. I did get Christmas party invites sent out, so that is another thing marked off my to-do list. Now, work is slowing down toward the end of the week, but tomorrow after noon (possibly all day) I'll be the only one in the office, so that will be boring but will hopefully keep me busy and make the day fly by.

I have been eating terribly and not exercising. I have been using about every spare minute to work on my classes, so I'm not too mad at myself for not exercising, but I would like to make time for it and get my mind to want to do it again. I have no excuse for not eating well though. I tell myself I'm going to eat well, then I overeat or skip my fruits and veggies and go for chocolate or chips. It's just been bad. I know that a lot of my issue now is my stressed brain telling me too eat the junk and I'm giving in. This weekend my hubby and I are going out of town and even though we'll be doing a lot of walking, we'll also be eating out, so I'm going to try to make reasonable choices and not go overboard. I will get back on track, I just hope I don't gain 10 lbs before that happens.

I hope everyone has had a great week so far!

06 November 2015

TGIF!! It's been long week and I'm ready for the weekend. Yesterday was emotionally draining, but I did well with my eating. I actually went kind of the other way and wasn't that hungry, but I ate mostly according to plan. Today I should be able to stay on plan as well. Friday's I always end up staying up too late then eating because I'm tired, so I'm going to try to break that habit today and just go to bed, even if it's 8:30. I'd rather get the sleep and wake up a little early, than binge eat to stay awake and watch junk on TV. I'm going to try to get a workout in when I get home too and maybe that will make me more sleepy. I seem to not want to eat as much junk after I've worked out, so that's another bonus of exercise. :)

We don't have any plans for the weekend, so I'm just going to try to get my normal weekend chores done, do some homework, and relax a bit. After this weekend we will be busy pretty much every weekend until after New Year's, so I've got to take the time to breathe when I can get it.

I hope everyone has a great Friday and a wonderful weekend!!

05 November 2015

My morning has already started off poorly and I'm hoping that I can have enough strength not to eat my feelings today. I found out this morning that a previous supervisor of mine passed away. He was promoted a couple of years ago so he worked at a different location, but in the same area. He'd been battling cancer and had been cleared twice and the 3rd time it came back we all knew it wasn't good, but it's still a shock when the person is gone. Even being very sick he still came into work, even if only for a couple of hours. He loved his work and the people he worked with. It's just a sad day and I feel terrible for his children.

I'm not good with emotions, so it's hard for me to deal with them. I may want to cry, but hate for people to see me cry, because I was raised that you just don't cry or show emotion, ever. I'm sure at some point when others at the office are in tears, I will be too, but I won't be the first to break down. I am always awkward in these situations because I never know what to say, then I crack a joke because I'm uncomfortable, and hold the tears back for when I'm in private. My goal is to get through this day without leaning on food for emotional support. :(

04 November 2015

I've had a win this morning already. I was about to stress out about the work Christmas Party again, but I was able to stop it in it's tracks. The food is not going as planned, so the person who is planning it is going to try something different. The people I work with don't like different, so I was about to stress and tell her that we'll figure out some way to make it the same, but I realized that I'm not in charge of the food, I'm here to help her cook the food and pick up little things like maybe side dishes or appetizers, not decide what we're having. She's a great party planner and whatever she decides will be good and I'm sure people will enjoy it. It is a big step for me to give up some of that control and just let things be. I know she is kind of stressing about this already too, so I don't want to stress her more either. Like I said, I know she will choose to do something great and everyone will enjoy it anyway, so why stress?

Last night I got a workout in and a test done, so my stress level was under control then too. :) I did eat a little too much yesterday, but I felt like I kept myself from going too overboard and I did get my fruits and veggies in and I didn't eat any chocolate. Today I have my plan, so I'm going to try my best not to let any little junky snacks sneak in. I'm feeling really good after defeating stress, getting a workout last night, and having a plan today.

I hope everyone has a great Wednesday!!

03 November 2015

I wanted to go for a walk during my son's scout meeting last night, but I didn't think about daylight savings and that it would be pitch black by the time he had his meeting, so no walk. I did get some things done that I needed to do, but no workout. Today I'm going to try to get a workout done as soon as I get home from work. I need to get a routine going, but it's hard when we're busy.

The other thing I need to work on is eating more good foods and less junk. I feel like little by little at least, I'm cutting back. Today my goal is to eat no chocolate. If I even eat 1 piece it will spiral out of control and I need to take control not lose it. I feel like I can regain control when I'm at work, it's at home that is harder and where I tend to stress more. I just have to keep working on it.

Not much new for me today, just trying to keep the struggles to a minimum. I hope everyone has a great Tuesday!!

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