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26 February 2024

First of all, thank you all for your support.

My weight hasn’t changed much, but I’m not all that concerned. From my last post to now, my very well-intentioned 80 year old mother has brought us two boxes of wine to dinners we’ve had her over for, despite our asking her not to. We could have dumped them or given them away, but Chuck’s birthday was February 2, and it felt like him giving me especially one last hurrah. We haven’t bought any ourselves and finished all the whiskey in the house.

I walked for the first time today in a very long time. My husband bought me this really wonderful treadmill for Christmas 2021 and staged it in one of our empty bedrooms in our upstairs, where the kids’ rooms were. After finding Chuck, I couldn’t stand on it for more than a few minutes because my back is to the door and the feeling that someone unfriendly is standing there overtakes me. Even now, over two years later, I can’t do it.

But I can walk down our road, so I did that. When we sell this huge house, which we eventually will, I will be able to use my treadmill once more in our new house that will be filled with everything Chuck and my other kids, but without ghosts to frighten me.

Thank you for allowing my rant and release. I will try to keep in touch.

13 January 2024

Last seen 8/16/21 - it’s been a while. So much has happened, and so little of it good. On 7/14/2020, at the peak of my post-50 fitness level, we lost my Dad. He was a spectacular human in every way - I was in my 40s before I realized he could get crabby.

We also lost 3 more dogs, but the greatest tragedy was my son’s suicide just a week before his 25th birthday on 1/27/22. I was the one who found him, and that launched me into nearly 2 years of PTSD and heavy drinking. On December 27th, I had to be rushed to the hospital for emergency gall bladder surgery. While my doctor was removing it, he observed that I have a fatty liver. I was not surprised, and I am absolutely not afraid to die, but I don’t want my family to have to tell people that my drinking killed me.

So I stood on my scale today to mark my weight as I enter into this life without wine in my house. I won’t be doing any special diet or exercise, but I’m interested to see how making this one step affects my weight.

You’re all welcome to join me.

13 January 2024

Weigh-in: 201.9 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 31.9 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment gaining 0.1 lb a week

16 August 2021

Weigh-in: 192.2 lb lost so far: 1.1 lb still to go: 22.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 17.0 lb a week

15 August 2021

Weigh-in: 194.7 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 24.7 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 4.6 lb a week

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