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09 August 2009

☼Today on "As The Calorie Burns" ™, it's been ten days since we lost Daisy. Thank you to all of you for your kind words. I'm still getting used to a house without her in it. The quiet can be deafening. All of the little routines and habits collected over 13 years are difficult to shake. I catch myself quite often before I am about to do something. The first thing I noticed was that I was still checking behind me before closing a door so as not to catch her in it. Then I dropped some food on the floor and realized I didn't have to scramble to pick it up before she got hold of it (her allergies didn't allow us to leave anything for her to clean up). I came home one day and forgot for a second that she was gone and for a brief moment expected to see her at the top of the stairs, come to greet me.

I've hesitated coming back to write a journal because I knew I would want to talk about her some more and I didn't think I could handle it until today. I guess it is still a little too soon since I'm unable to hold back the tears. I thought I was past that level of mourning. I guess it will take more time. But I'm doing better.

I've got company coming this week, starting tomorrow with my niece. Then my friend comes on Wednesday. I've managed to keep my weight steady except for some Aunt Flo and Mr. C spikes thrown in for good measure. I didn't weigh in this week but plan to do so next Friday. All of this company is really throwing a wrench into my efforts this summer. It seems that we have had more time with company than without. I'll have a brief reprieve after my friend leaves on the 20th and then I will be going away to New York city for 3 days over the Labor Day long weekend. Aside from a few dinners out with my social group, things should be a lot calmer for a while so I hope to be able to make some real progress come September. Right now, I'll be content to maintain even though my current weight is not a happy place for me.

äOn the nutrition front, I think my saving grace has been that I've stuck to my plan to eat lighter throughout the day and save the bulk of my food intake for the evening meal and possible snacks. I have not been faithful to my conscious eating rules and I am not counting POINTS. I know this has to stop. I've got to follow one plan or another. I can't trust myself to do this subconsciously, for sure!

†In fitness news, I fell off the running wagon for close to a week around the time that Daisy passed but have got back into it again. My right knee complained a bit on my first run after the break so I was a bit nervous about my next run but it proved to be much better, although there were a couple of little twinges. I've spaced my runs out by an extra day just so I don't overdo it. I'm looking at the schedule for our city's activity guide and am planning to sign up for a Monday to Friday aerobics circuit that runs in the mornings. It goes from September to December and is quite reasonably priced. I'm hoping that it makes a difference on all fronts.

üSo that's the kind of week it was. I'll try to get out to visit your journals over the next few days. I apologize for my lack of attention as of late. Now I must be off to run some errands. TTFN.

31 July 2009

Weigh-in: 176.0 lb lost so far: 57.0 lb still to go: 26.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (20 comments) on diet Weight Watchers   steady weight

30 July 2009

¤Today on "As The Calorie Burns" ™, it's a sad time in our house. Our dearly loved 13 year old Labrador Retriever, Daisy, is not doing well. We thought yesterday would be her last day and prepared ourselves for the worst. That was traumatizing to us all.

She can't get up on the floors inside the house but can manage to hobble around in the backyard to do her business if we carry her out there. We stand her up inside when she comes back in and she manages to wobble to a spot where she wants to lay down but she chooses odd spots around the house, like hallways. She won't eat but will take water. Her body often feels cooler than it should it be. She mostly slept yesterday but seems a little more alert today and is lifting her head up quite often. She hasn't been outside since about 8 pm last night so I asked her if she wanted to outside and prepared to pick her up but she struggled with me so I took that as a sign that she didn't want to go. She hasn't had any "accidents" and isn't drinking too much so I guess she knows she doesn't have to go.

Our plan yesterday was to make her comfortable and take care of her as best we could because we really thought she was leaving us. But today I'm not so sure. She doesn't appear to be suffering but I feel bad doing nothing, waiting to see if she'll get better or not. So hubby plans to come home early from work and we will take her to the vet. I don't hold high hopes that they will be able to do anything for her but I don't know if we should agree to put her down if we can still look after her, albeit with difficulty, and she isn't in any great discomfort. It's a big dilemma for me. I would prefer to comfort her at home if this is indeed the end for her. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

äOn the nutrition front, being diet conscious yesterday was not in the cards. My stomach was in knots the whole day and I placated myself with nervous, emotional eating. I didn't empty the contents of the cupboards but I know I didn't eat within weight loss limits. I think I'll be able to do better today. At least Harold is still the same and not climbing upwards.

?In fitness news, nothing happened here either unless you count a crying marathon and carrying a 60 lb dog around. I don't have the oomph in me to do anything today either.

üSo that's the kind of day it was. I apologize if I don't get around to everyone's journals although I may need the distraction today. We'll see how it goes. I didn't get to visit with my cousin yesterday and might not today, either, depending on how things go. She's known Daisy since we got her at 9 weeks old so she is quite devastated by this, too. But I just didn't feel up for company. I don't know if we'll get to see each other before she leaves since she is going on another jaunt out of town for the weekend and then leaving for home on Monday. Anyway, I hope you all are doing better than I am. TTFN.

28 July 2009

¤Today on "As The Calorie Burns" ™, things are settling down a bit around here. I am still having company, per se, but they aren't sleeping here and that seems to help somewhat. My one friend and her daughter that were staying with me left Saturday night and my cousin and her daughter were gone for the weekend on a little side trip with my cousin's boyfriend. They are continuing to stay with him so I didn't see them until after lunch yesterday and they went home shortly after supper.

I found it easier to stay in control yesterday so I hope that the rest of the week turns out well, also. My cousin is going on another side trip this weekend and then is going home on Monday so I only have to deal with 3 more days of company temptations and then I'll have a week and a half before my other friend arrives. Don't get me wrong. It sounds like I'm lamenting the fact that I have so much company but it's the temptations that accompany the company that are the problem, not the company! I am really enjoying all of the visiting and seeing so many distant friends and family this summer. However, being immersed in continuing waves of celebrations and convivial companionship have proven to be a rather difficult challenge.

I suppose I can look at the positive side of all this revelry as having a marathon training session on how to handle these situations. We can hypothesize and prepare for these events ad nauseum but only actual practice will prove our theories right or wrong. I'm learning what works, what doesn't, and what my biggest issues are. It's a difficult task, to be sure. But if I'm going to break the cycle of yo-yo weight loss and gain, I need to venture into this final frontier and conquer the elements of its diet sabotaging climate. I'm an explorer in a strange, new land! I'll plant the flag of victory on the summit yet!

äOn the nutrition front, Sunday alone with hubby should have been an easy day for me but I woke up hungry so my usual strategy of eating light throughout the day did not pan out. I did ok throughout the day but had some snacks and a couple of libations with hubby in the evening. We haven't had many days alone in quite some time so I suppose we felt the need to have our own celebration.

Yesterday was much better, even with having company for the better part of the day and having to prepare a communal meal. I kept the dinner fare healthy (bbq chicken, ceasar salad with my homemade light dressing, rice, and peas) and ate small portions. Rather than making a dessert (and having the subsequent leftovers around as further tantilizations), I suggested we all walk to our local gelato shop where I had a small (about 1/2 cup) chocolate hazelnut in a bowl. The gelato is lower fat than ice cream and averages about 120 calories per 1/2 cup so I felt it was a treat within the boundaries of eating healthy for the day.

?In fitness news, the heat and humidity were high early in the day so I opted to do Turbo Jam yesterday and will probably do the same today. I honestly can't remember if I went for a run on Sunday! I know I went for a run on Saturday so maybe the memories are getting confused in my brain. I'll assume I didn't run on Sunday because I'm sure I would remember if I had. Brain fart!

üSo that's the kind of day(s) it was. I'm not sure what's on the agenda for today other than the need to do a little grocery shopping and then some pool time since the weather is finally being agreeable. I'll probably end up picking up my cousin and her daughter after the shopping to come over for a swim and I'm sure that will lead to another supper here. I've got a hankering for some cedar plank salmon so maybe I'll make a side trip to Costco (love their fresh salmon!). I didn't check with Harold today since I don't want be discouraged if he isn't quick to move in my favor. I'll give it another day or two and then have a little confab and see where I'm at. TTFN!

25 July 2009

☼Today on "As The Calorie Burns" ™, company has only been here 5 days and I'm up 6 lbs!!!! Surprisingly, I am not feeling sheepish about recording it. I take that as a good sign. I have a couple of day's reprieve and then I'll have "day company" because my cousin and her daughter won't be sleeping here. I don't think the sleeping arrangements will make the challenges any easier but there will be less people around so maybe that will help. And now it is confirmed that another girlfriend is coming here to visit for a week and is arriving on the 12th so I will have little time to myself in between.

I am realizing that I have to learn a new and different way of dealing with company and life's other celebrations. Even though I ate light during the day and ate smaller portions, the restaurant meal and the cocktails and afternoon snacks still added up. I am confident that a good couple of pounds of this gain is bloat and Mr. C so I am not berating myself too much for it but I know that life is always going to have these challenges for me. If I don't want the consequences, I have to change how I handle these situations. The subsequent gains and struggles to get back on track are too hard on my mind and my body. I can't use the excuse of this being a "special occasion" anymore. Instead, I need to develop better strategies to get me through these events. Food and libations need to cease being the main attraction. I have to step outside the crowd mentality that makes me want to eat and drink because everyone else is doing it. And if I find it too difficult to set limits and stick to them, then I have to accept that I need to avoid the tempting food and drinks altogether. Is it possible for an addict to truly change how they deal with their drug of choice? Or is avoidance and abstinence the only solution? I want to believe that I can learn how to have a peaceful coexistance with food. But, for perhaps the first time, I'm beginning to suspect that I can't. Hmmmm.

äOn the nutrition front, I had to cook supper on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. We went out for supper on Wednesday. And Friday was leftover clean up day. I didn't eat large portions and I avoided many of the dishes in favor of the lower calorie choices. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday also featured me preparing many pitchers of frozen mango or strawberry daquiris. I am positive that the drinks were where I ingested the most excess calories. Tuesday night also included a late night movie at the theatre complete with popcorn. So, even though I ate very little throughout the morning and afternoon, the subsequent evening extravaganzas more than made up for it. The damage would have been even more hair raising had I not shown that modicum of restraint. I admit that the gain was well deserved but I am finally realizing that the few moments of tastebud tantalization weren't worth the price.

†In fitness news, I have been getting out for runs about every other day. The weather has not been great but I even ran part way in the rain one day. There's a chance of rain this morning but I still plan to get a run in today.

üSo that's the kind of week it was. I apologize for not being around to comment on everyone's journals and I probably won't be able to until tomorrow as I am stealing this time as it is while my company is still asleep. But I had to come in and update my progress or, more appropriately, the lack thereof. I hope you are all doing better than I. TTFN.
Weigh-in: 176.0 lb lost so far: 57.0 lb still to go: 26.0 lb Diet followed N/A
   (14 comments) on diet Weight Watchers   gaining 5.3 lb a week

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