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24 May 2018

Had another pain 'episode' yesterday. Blacked out couple of times, couldnt walk, wasn't able to speak coherantly, blurred vision, etc etc. Went to ER and wasn't taken seriously again. ("Are you aware that panic attacks can cause black outs?" thanks a lot doc) If nothing is showing in my bloodwork (they checiked for indicators of a blood clot) and nothing is showing on the ECG they shrug their shoulders and send me on my way.

While two other people that came in with the same symptoms are kept, and hooked to a machine, and whisked away to the cardio section without the results of their tests even being reviewed. I'm sick to death of no one seeing me underneath this layer of fat.

I have an appointment with my family doc tomorrow, so he can go over the results and perhaps see about getting me an xray or scan or something to see if I have a clot or stone somewhere. I can't be a single mom and have these attacks, my kids are both terrified to be alone with me now.

Im angry enough that I'm willing to brave the pain flares (seperate from the 'episodes' that cvause the blackouts and falls)

I'm not going to do specifically low carb, it's too difficult with my budget/energy levels. There's no way I can make two seperate meals, one for me and one for the kids every day as well asthe prep for both. I'm burning myself out as it is.


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*Generated by [Keto Calculator](https://keto-calculator.ankerl.com) 9.13*

34/F/5'5" | CW 355 | 60% BF | Mostly sedentary

* 2160 kcal Goal, a 15% deficit. (734 min, 2541 max)
* 30g Carbohydrates
* 86g Protein (86g min, 141g max)
* 188g Fat (30g min, 230g max)


back to the drawing board, as they say. Here's a selfie just because i actually like my face for once, woot.
Weigh-in: 355.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 64.0 lb Diet followed N/A
   add comment gaining 0.7 lb a week

01 November 2017

Weigh-in: 333.4 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 42.4 lb Diet followed N/A
   add comment gaining 0.1 lb a week

09 April 2015

Weigh-in: 323.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 32.0 lb Diet followed N/A

21 December 2013

02 August 2013

Still sticking with my trainer.. the hardest part has been scheduling a sitter so I can get to the gym.

Don't get me wrong, the workouts aren't easy and I'm sore as hell twelve hours later but I enjoy it and find myself missing it over the weekend.

Right now I'm in Build phase, and going 4 times a week to catch up on ones I missed when I was sick or my trainer was sick.

He's pushing for me to loose a little quicker.. I think he's kind of surprised how the fat just doesn't *melt* away, cuz he can see how hard I'm working at it during the workouts..

It's not feasible for me to stick with the keto diet in the summer, I'm literally counting coins to get milk these days so having protein at every meal just isn't in the budget for me. BUT I'll be starting Burn phase at the end of the month for four weeks, so I'm hoping once school's in again and my sitter bill isn't so high every week I'll be able to get back on the keto horse and get back into counting carbs regularily again.

I feel pretty good in general right now though, and like I said the workouts are good, I feel tired after but it's a good kind of body achy tired and not just my brain being exhausted from stress.

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