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showing entries 16 to 20 of 111
27 August 2008
I CAN AFFORD THE BURDEN OF NEEDING TO LOSE WEIGHT
Did you ever think that being overweight may actually be a blessing? Have you ever contemplated that your excess weight may signify more than just a state of overeating?The fact that being overweight is actually a luxury not everyone can afford?
Here we are on Fatsecret all dying to stop eating when there are people on this planet dying to eat. There are millions of starving people around the globe trying to feign off starvation and poverty, all with the common goal of trying to live, trying to keep their families alive.
The above heading was a quote I read in a magazine recently and it impacted me profoundly. I never realized that being fat could actually be a luxury that one could afford. We have the means to be gluttonous and put ourselves into the situation of eating in excess. Just think about the amount of chips and soda we consume or have consumed just on a whim. Ever picked a bag of popcorn because you felt like it and then ended up eating more than you want to just because its there? Unfortunately, there are too many people who dont have such liberties. They cant find a grain of rice to eat, much less a whole bowl. They probably dont even know what a chip tastes like, let alone contemplate the variety of flavors we fuss over.
I would like to suggest a mini challenge to everyone to be done over the entire month of September. Every time you want to eat a unhealthy choice item, calculate the cost of that and put that money aside instead. If you eat the item, you can should double the cost of the item. If you only want to eat a portion of something, place a value on it. E.g. how much would two cookies be worth? As this is for a good cause, be generous!
This should be an incentive for you to avoid the food and to do a good deed at the same time.
At the end of the month, donate the money to the charity of your choice, whether it is local or international.
I will be fasting for the whole month of September as part of Ramadan, the month of fasting for Muslims. This is when you fast from sunrise to sunset each day, so I intend to donate the cost of each meal I miss (breakfast and lunch). You can choose to donate in lieu of snacks or meals.
Finally, please report how much money you collected from not eating the foods you contemplated and which charity you are going to donate to at the end of the challenge. You can keep daily tallies or give a final report at the end of the month.
I hope that this challenge will help motivate both your dieting and your compassion. Good luck!
26 August 2008
A soft gentle grin, giving traces of the tiredness he felt, lingered as he gazed into her eyes. He felt a sense of comfort and security as they sat together, enveloped in the moment.
She returned his gaze with a loving, devoted look, knowing that he was feigning his alertness for the mere sake of being with her, but not wanting to lose the moment by sending him away to rest. They chatted casually about the daily going ons and the relaxation in the atmosphere would lull anyone to sleep.
KRRCK! Suddenly there was a sharp but low sound of something breaking.KRRCK KRRCK. Again and again, like the sound of thin ice shattering against the weight of heaviness. Silence. Tears began to seep, almost tiptoeing down her cheeks. Her heart was shattering into a thousand tiny pieces at the sight of the two joyful people in front of her. She had yearned and begged for so many years for such a moment but it never bore fruit. She had just put it down to him not having the capability to express himself but there he was, relaxing, staying awake, talking, actually looking happy. He was pummelling her heart with his actions and she scrambled to reclaim whatever piece was left, wiped her face and walked in with a naive smile. The other woman stood up and walked off. He looked at her walking in and then at the other woman walking out. As if by mutual intuitive agreement, he also stood up and began to straddle to his room, but not before giving a piercing accusative look. She had broken their peace. She had disturbed the emotion. He felt more disdain towards her now then before.
She sat down on the sofa, numb in a state of confusion. What had just happened? The tears that were trickling now began to flow with a vengeance. Her heart, newly patched up, but still full of dark holes, began to pound in defiant anger at the man who dared to taunt its master and owner. Faster and faster like a runner heading for the finishing line. Her head was also waltzing, putting her into a spin, draining her with every twirl.
A soft gentle arm slid across her shoulder. A boy looked at her and said "its not worth it. They're not worth it. You couldn't change anyone for so many years and its not going to happen now. Why put yourself through this constant pain of anticipation or hope?"
She turned to look at his face. This manly, loving face which once was the size of her palm. The boy who once was just a babe in her arms depending on her soothing words for comfort, was now comforting her. She smiled and hugged him and then realized something. She had been looking for love all these years from her husband but she was never lacking in love in the first place. The love of three more than made up for the lack of the love of one. Her husband could love his mother, but they could never experience the intensity of love between her and her children. She had the better deal and it took a fifteen year old to teach her that.
26 August 2008
3AM..SLEEP, SLEEP EVERYWHERE BUT IN MY EYES
So its 3am right now and I cant sleep.
I read your comments and everyone has so much wonderful advice. I usually am the one with all the answers in the world but I cant seem to find the right solution for my own. Its not that I am clueless but you can give all the best advice in the world and it is totally useless unless the recipient is willing to listen and act on it.
told my MIL to stop doing my laundry, stop cleaning out my closet or go through the kids closets but she has to actually LISTEN, which she doesnt. I even told her once that even if my bed isnt made at 5pm, its still
responsibility no matter how much she wants to see a clean home by midday. But she doesnt listen. She still does what she wants OR....she become hypersensitive and disses me to her daughters and relatives. She has made me out to be some neurotic psycho bully to her daughters and I get little senses of what lies she has said about me through little comments they make. So I am left with the options of either staying silent to keep her from creating humongous lies about me or digging a hole for myself by speaking up and suffering her wrath through her slandering my reputation within the family.
The best solution would be to keep myself/her busy outside of the house to allow myself frequent breaks from her, or begin something at home that will keep
busy, like sewing. House solution is to get up much earlier than her and do all the things I dont like her doing so there is no chance for her to botch things or me to get upset.
As I always complain to my mom, she raised us to be TOO nice. I am always putting the needs of others before my own. I hardly socialized because I didnt like going to parties where kids werent invited. I didnt have a car for the first nine years of marriage so my kids were always as cooped up as me. I never felt easy about getting a reprieve from the house whilst they remained there. I missed out on several vacations and even let my health suffer when my father in law was sick with terminal cancer because I wanted to always be there for him. Now, I dont want to go out if my MIL doesnt get a chance to and she will only get that if I take her out because her son is always too busy.
I do have ideas on keeping both of us busy but it is a matter of finding such things. I still cant find a mommy and me club in my area (other than downtown where I refuse to go due to safety concerns). I am looking into classes but she wanted flower arranging classes which again my area doesnt seem to have. School voluntary work? She said she cant do morning and she doesnt want to go for more than an hour or so a week..I cant think what I can get for her in a school for such a short period of time.
I will figure it out eventually. I am still trying to deal with other issues in addition to the Gremlin, like Son Wise words grade conversion affecting his cumulative GPA and have spent the entire summer trying to figure out a solution that will help his admission into college. I learnt that Michigan Unis only look at 10th and 11th grade results but the cumulative does matter. 10th grade was also wasted catching up to core required subjects so he spent 10th grade doing 9th grade subjects. Similar problems in Princess Drama Queens school results and the topper, of course, is the volatile relationship between hubby and me. Mix that altogether and you come out with a recipe for high stress muffin (which incidentally is all around my waist nowadays!!)
25 August 2008
GREMLINS ARE BACK IN THE HOUSE!
My peace has been shattered but I am trying to be strong about it.
I am looking for positives and the biggest positive I can find is that she can babysit Little Bear so I can get back to my treadmill and exercise. She was 'delivered' back from Canada by her sister and family so it was a nice weekend spent shopping for two days straight...(not me, them!!)
The other really nice thing was that it was Little Bears birthday on 21st August but we didnt really celebrate because it was a weekday. So when the guests came over on the weekend, we had a mini party amongst ourselves. I wrapped up the numerous little gifts I had bought him and presented them from each one of the aunts and uncles etc.. I even found a really great book called, "I love you mommy" and the main character is called- LITTLE BEAR. I thought how perfect for me! Then hubby treated everyone to a restaurant in honor of Little Bears 3rd Birthday.
So the weekend went well but already the apprehension has started again. Today I went to pick up Ms. Drama Queen from her first day of school and thought about making Gremlin volunteer once or twice a week at the school. I think that would keep her busy and out of my hair.
AN IDLE MIND IS A DEVILS WORKSHOP. How true that saying is. As long as she is busy, she is an angel. The moment she is bored, some devillish behavior starts. She gossips about me and my family..usually with lies or exaggerations, just to pass the time with her family. Or she is ruining my clothes by mixing colors that bleed with whites because she is always in a rush without bothering to think first.
I am looking at a sign at the top of my FS page saying 'my weight: 140.2lbs, 52 days ago". That means its been 52 days since I stopped dieting efficiently. I havent gone back to the initial gluttonous behavior that caused my excess weight gain but not eating the salads I should. Still using Splenda instead of sugar but also adding occasional cookies to the mix. Not eating so many fried foods but rice has come back. I think that as long as I steer clear of too many white products, I may not need to lose more weight..just make sure I dont gain any more.
Enough hiding from people, better go down and show my face. See ya all..sorry I havent been reading your journals even though you all are so wonderful about reading mine. I just come here, vent and then run off. I will try and read some if I can. My mood seems so down with gremlins around that I dont feel like I have anything positive to say to anyone.
21 August 2008
Still suffering jetlag...even though we only drove to Canada! Every evening, we went to bed at around 4-5am and then had to get up at 11am to prepare for the next days activities. Now all I want to do is ..SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP!
To answer a few questions from previous journals:
Q: What about the food, its supposed to the highlight of Asian functions? (submitted by 08-well something along those lines anyway!)
A: The food was really good, but I wasnt feeling well during the trip so I avoided a lot of the greasy but tasty foods. I was fine as long as I didnt eat. Lots of pre appetizers, appetizers, main courses, after main courses, dessert, Cake..twice (once on girls function and once on boys function!), ice cream, traditional south Asian sweets, White choc and dark choc fountains, fruits..and on and on!!!
I actually ran a fever and was vomiting on the final event so I totally missed everything that day and I heard that the best food was that day!!
Q:Has your relationship with your mother always been strained?
A: Good question because it is something I have been thinking about recently myself. I have never felt so apprehensive about having her around in my 17 years of marriage.
So I have come up with a number of factors that may have affected me.
1-My father in laws absence. My FIL was the most wonderful dad in the world but he really kept his wife on her toes. She was constantly at his beck and call and personally I think she didnt mind because she felt needed. He passed away about four years ago and I have noticed a drastic change in her personality. I think she doesnt know what to do because there is no longer anyone relying on her. Her children all have spouses and her grandkids are independent, so noone really needs her (though we all want her around..just not so in our faces). She has always had her little irritating habits but I have never had such strong feelings until now.
2-Age. Maybe shes getting older and I am also getting older. For her, I also noticed my mom is a lot more irritable and moody as she gets older so perhaps its the same for my MIL. For me, as I get more and more older I am becoming more established or fixed in my ways and I want things my way. I am no longer the green eared bride who didnt want to rock the boat and allowed the MIL to do whatever she felt like. Now I want to run my own home. She has had her turn running a house, so I want her to let me run mine. (This is a problem because I was brought up to respect elders even if that means letting them have their way so as not to offend them.)
But thanks to all the support and encouragement of my FS buddies, and the complaints by my kids of their gran going through their closets, I talked to my hubby again about telling her not to go through things unless asked to. I dont know if it will work but I feel better for having voiced my opinion.
She is back on Saturday and I am currently looking for flower arranging classes or similar craft activities she can do. I have also thought have having a monthly senior Asians drop in day, so all the oldie goldies in the neighborhood can hang out with each other. MIL will just have to realize that she is as old as them...not the 21 year old she thinks she is!!
Oh yeah..dieting..HA HA!! Thats been on the back burner for so long!! I am looking for a diet that allows me cereal and milk because I am totally fed up of eating only eggs every morning, so I need to do some research...probably going to head towards South Beach as it seems to be low carb but with more variety than Atkins. Atkins is the best for weight loss but I feel that maintenance on another diet will allow me to not feel so deprived!!
Finally have a lot to say and its constructive I hope. Take care
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