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02 October 2012

01 October 2012

26 September 2012

24 September 2012

19 September 2012

So this morning was a short journal. Now I've got a little bit of time. I didn't complertey but did bomb this weekend. Things in my personal life really havent been going the way I want them to. I know it's no excuse to eat, but i did. Now (like always) I have to start from square one.

This is so hard. I mean I lost all this weight before, but I'm in a three year slump apparently. I can keep my weight constant and I'll lose weight for a month or so then gain some back, realize I'm getting chubby again and start all over. I've lost enough weight to reach my goal, but all this stop and go is counterproductive. And it makes me feel down.

I havent had access to a gym and havent been in about two months, which is uncalled for. I gotta just plunge right into that again and KEEP a gym regimen. You know we act like it's the hardest thing in the world but its not. I have to treat the gym like it's my job. I have to gain my muscle back!

In short, I'm not doing very well. I need to get back into my beast mode where I cared about getting exercise and about what i put in my body. I need to start doing no carbs again. This is the biggest problem for me and, as I can see now, will always be a challenge. My love for carbs will never go away, I just have to manage.

I just have to moniter myself. This time around, it's been okay tho. I haven't gained as much as I thought I had but still. No excuse. None.

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