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16 December 2014

I've been reclaiming my morning exercise time. Putting myself to bed early with the reminder that we (all of me) want to exercise in the morning: 30 minutes on the treadmill; no argument or discussion upon waking the next morning. It usually works though on the occasion when the argument begins, I remind myself of the previous night's decision. So, on the treadmill 30 minutes in the AM and why? what happens?

Well, I feel like I've already accomplished something for myself before I even leave the house. I'm not sure it's affected the weight but it has affected how I feel both emotionally and physically. Emotionally, I start the day happier and more positive than when I don't exercise. Physically, I feel the muscles coming back alive. I feel the shape of my muscles forming the shape of my body. In other words, I feel less like a blob and more like a human.

I had my annual review with my boss yesterday. Very positive. He has little to add for improvement - except that, at times, I should try a "step back" approach to situations. When things start going awry or outside of my plans, rather than get heated, take a step back and see if it is really within my purview to fight a given battle or if I should ask for help...allow him to take the heat and escalate. Good boss,huh? Yeah, I'm lucky. He gives me tremendous autonomy but never leaves me out to hang and never throws anyone under the bus.

So, final day of work this year starts today. I'm on "staycation" for the next few weeks. Hope to exercise, dance, relax, meet up with friends and clear out some old boxes of childhood stuff that no longer serves me.

16 December 2014

Weigh-in: 182.4 lb lost so far: 1.6 lb still to go: 17.4 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet Awareness and Conscious Choices   gaining 0.7 lb a week

01 December 2014

Weigh-in: 181.0 lb lost so far: 3.0 lb still to go: 16.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (2 comments) on diet Awareness and Conscious Choices   steady weight

26 November 2014

I love my sister and her family. And I feel totally loved, supported and accepted by them. We had a great sister day today: movies, hair cut/style, shopping, chit chat. And then we came home to the four kids and I got hugs all around. But then came bedtime.... My brother in law was to put the kids to bed. I swear they were upstairs a full half hour screaming, giggling, crying and the 9-year-old scolding the 5-year-old the entire time. And I'm sitting downstairs thinking: Is my brother in law up there??? It didn't resolve itself until my sis came out of the shower and ...deep sigh, eye rolling... said, "I'll go up now."

Her husband is an incredible man. He has a sense of humor, is devoted to his wife and children, is a hard worker and well-respected on the job....But he has no clue how to discipline kids. For 11 years I've been walking the fine line between loving aunt and meddlesome in-law. It's been tough. My sis has alternately asked for my input and told me I've overstepped the bounds. We are all figuring it out as it comes. It's just that the amount of chaos that can often erupt - and typically right around dinner time - is astronomical. All four kids at the table at once. Everyone with his/her own story - or version of the same story - demanding attention, mediation, and mostly love...well, it just sorta gives me indigestion. I have tried just not eating at the same time as them but then they want me to be part of their family time. I've tried just holding my tongue or gently engaging one or two of the children in a quiet conversation. Nothing "works" in the sense of providing me a peaceful dining experience.

Oh, well, I guess this is the price I pay to be in the midst of so much love and generosity. I just wanted a place to put this out so it is out of my head and then, hopefully, I can let it go bit by bit.

All in all this visit has been the best one ever. I've been good to myself, not binging at any time, eating healthily and taking time away from the chaos whenever I can or need a moment.

26 November 2014

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Sweet Ce commented on PepperMill's Journal Entry.
Sweet Ce supported PepperMill's Journal Entry.
Sweet Ce commented on PepperMill's Journal Entry.
Sweet Ce recorded a Weigh In at 182.4 lb.

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MaetrixSS recorded a Journal Entry.
rcortise recorded a Weigh In at 154.6 lb.
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Jason S commented on Melodyann's Journal Entry.
watila recorded a Weigh In at 207.2 lb.
lennyp recorded a Weigh In at 172.0 lb.