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02 February 2017

I miss junk food. Last night I went to sleep early to avoid eating and dinner and eating dinner. I woke up around 9 pm hungry as hell. The pickle juice and pickles weren't satisfying me at all. My mouth wanted CHOCOLATE!

Somehow I talked myself into finding my Ferrero Rocher stash and indulging in one piece of candy as a reward for making it all day eating nothing except cucumbers and pickled cucumbers.

What I noticed first was the expiration date: October 2016. What I noticed second was the stale hint of cardboard buried underneath that melted chocolate hazelnut goodness. I didn't care - I ate the other two candies and attempted to fall back asleep with my stomach growling.

This morning I woke up not hungry. I ate a pickle spear while I packed four other spears into a snack size baggie. I didn't have enough time to peel and slice the remaining 3 jumbo cucumbers so I brought them to work with me.

In the break room this morning I made my coffee and peeled and sliced my cucumbers while other coworkers came in and out eating doughnuts someone had brought in. Luckily the way I was sitting I couldn't actually see the doughnuts so it was easier to run out of there with out indulging. Patting myself on the back for not giving into temptation again.

I decided tonight I am going to pick up 3 more Ferrero Rocher candies and indulge again before going to sleep as a reward for making it another 16 hours of depraving myself. I know I am not a dog and I don't need to reward myself with food.... BUT.... I will go crazy if my mind believes I CANT have anything because that makes me obsessive and I will hate myself after I binge eat myself into depression.

Only 13 more days to go. I got this!

P.S. I can always make a list of what I really want to eat after this fast is said and done... right now a doughnut is at the top of the list and is the only item on the list.

P.P.S. I am going to a birthday party tonight where there will be cake and probably ice cream. I am going to need to be strong.

01 February 2017

I did it - I went to the grocery store after work and I bought 5 fat cucumbers. Their produce was fully stocked so I felt happy I didn't have to pick the less warped of the remaining undesirable rejects at the bottom of the bin.

This morning before work I peeled and sliced 2 cucumbers, put them into a baggy with a pinch of salt. I also put 4 spears of Claussen dill pickles (the BEST in my opinion) in another baggie, and took a big sip of pickle juice for breakfast.

I am enjoying my morning coffee as I type this and snack on ...you guessed it... cucumbers! I weighed myself (with my winter boots on) so I have a start weight that won't hurt my self esteem because anything over my normal weight I can blame on the winter boots (What do you mean my boots don't weigh a hundred pounds?? haha) Also when I weigh myself again in a few weeks (without my winter boots) I will see an amazing drastic change on the scale... even if its only a few actual winter boot pounds only.

Here it is: 181.4lbs ...that is what I am starting with. I am not fat shaming myself. I know not working out for two months eating anything and everything will obviously transpire into immediate fat thanks to my f*cked up metabolism. This is my last extreme diet attempt. If this fails... I am getting down on my hands and knees and begging my doctor for legal prescription speed.

01 February 2017

Weigh-in: 181.4 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 36.4 lb Diet followed N/A

31 January 2017

The Great Value brand sausage gravy bowl tastes a lot better than the regular sausage no gravy breakfast bowl and it has less calories.

I decided this morning to go on the cucumber/pickle diet. I quickly researched it as I was getting ready for work and noticed it said you can lose 15 calories in 2 weeks. I need this. I need to lose the weight quick. I took two months off and I have been depressed every day because of it.

My goal tonight after work is to pick up pickles and cucumbers and start tomorrow morning. Feb 1st. I will weigh myself and start ALL OVER AGAIN. It will be almost impossible that I hate pickles and cucumbers because they are my favorite - I know all too well restricting myself to only one or two things makes me hate them. I'm still not too big on hard boiled eggs and salads. I would eat scrambled eggs and cheese (no potatoes) every day.

After 2 weeks, I will introduce other healthy food into my cucumber pickle diet. I just love how my diet becomes extreme science experiments. The only one I regret the most is the liquid diet... I don't want to talk about it. Ha!

29 December 2016

I restored my previous weight history back to 2010 (I know for a fact I have data further back than that but I must have accidentally deleted it) What I have discovered is EVERY end of the year weight increases by two pounds. I don't get it. I know I let myself go this month but I don't understand... why?

Anyway - My New Years resolution will be to continue to work out and eat healthy thru out 2017 and HOPEFULLY at the end of next year I won't weigh 2 pounds more than I do now.

I'm also dedicated to purging my life. House/Car/Job/etc... for the next 52 weeks. I will keep track of my progress via my diary/journal I resoluted last year to fill and I went above and beyond because I have moved onto my second journal already and the year isn't over.

I remember there was a time when THIS Weight Journal was my only writing tool in-between my old blog and my now hand written journal. I am glad to see this hobby has stuck with me. I wonder if I should compile everything I have written into one media and set it in chronological order?!?! Maybe that can be my other new years resolution?!?!?!

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