FacingForward

I am a 45 year old Christian mom of four terrific children, married for 18+ years. I've been struggling a bit with depression regarding my marriage. Although it's been taking me two years to get back to my goal weight, plenty is happening on the inside as well as the outside. My inner critic is getting quieter, and I am learning that my happiness isn't connected to my husband's or my children's or my boss's or my students' or my priest's behavior entirely. I have control over my own actions, my own well-being. And if I spend the energy on that, I will get back to goal...one step at a time. One thing I know for sure is that any kind of action, no matter how small, gets the ball rolling, breaking me out of a rut. Running is my favorite exercise and a huge self-esteem boost. Every time I go for a run, it feels like a victory. And when I feel good about myself, I want to do everything I can to stay healthy and take care of my body.
I have a strong faith in God and heaven, but also I am reminded that I only have one life on this earth, and I NEED it to be better. That is my prayer to God. At least when I am fit and eating right, I feel like myself again. My goal is to stick with exercising regularly and drop the weight no matter what work or family throws my way. This is about so much more than being thin or vanity. This is about being the best I can be, being strong and feeling strong.
I am so thankful for the wonderful people I've met on this site.
I go with them and with God on this journey. No excuses really. I will persevere and push through. "What I am looking for is not out there; it is in me." ~ Helen Keller.
(Revised 07/11/09)