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02 September 2016

I ate a sticky bun for breakfast this morning. It was glorious. It's an Amish sticky bun from just around the corner so I figure it was made the old fashioned way so it's... less processed. That's what I'm telling myself. Recorded and moving on.

Today is clothes shopping with the preteen at this horrible place called The Mall. It's a horrible little maze of these things called stores that have windows full of hoochy clothes that the preteen oohs and ahhs over. Little does she know I went to the co-op this morning to get pig feed so her set of burlap bags are already here. I figure this is the only way the preteen, who already has a boyfriend, will remain undistracted in school. Really.. it's for her.. not my sanity. She will realize this when she's older and her preteen is all legs.

Now I have to go to the outside that is filled with overly excited preteens in a maze of wallet stinkers to see how many steps it takes to cloth a preteen, a Pre-K little man and break my bank account. That sticky bun will be a distant memory by the time I sob my way home. :)

25 August 2016

I have worked out 3 days. In a row. Not that 10 minutes here or there. 30 minutes on a machine that makes me sweat like a sprinkler. I'm a little sore, my elliptical laughs at me as I gasp curse words at it and my husband thinks I've lost my mind. Mostly because the only way I can workout is after the boys go to bed and that means 6 hours of sleep.... But... I've missed this more than I realized. I feel good. I feel like I'm in control again. I feel like I have the fat chick that has taken over lately in a headlock and I'm giving her a nuggy and demanding she yells uncle. I want my body back and my health and my butt... Well ok.. I really want a smaller more tone butt than I have ever had but I'm getting there. One night at a time.

Ok so.... There is the good, the bad, and the clam bake. The good is I hit all the Fitbit goals that Fitbit set for me 2 days in a row. I was almost on a streak! Then today happened. It wasn't the complete flop it could have been. I had a decent breakfast and didn't stuff myself at the company clam bake. I passed up ice cream and I only took the smallest bit of anything unhealthy that I wanted to try so yay for self control!! Then I spent the night I. The car driving to get the preteen glasses and then chase down haybine parts. I did manage 30 minutes on the elliptical so I'm still doing pretty good. So.. 10,000 steps? Nope. 5 miles? Hahahahhahaha uh uh. 10 flights of stairs? Nope I did get 5 though. Calories? Killed it. With a 500 deficit and calorie guessing on a lot of things I think today was pretty even. So yay for no progress in either direction! Wooohoo! Lol

24 August 2016

Is it a sign you're completely out of shape when your Fitbit tells you walking around outside at lunchtime is cardio? On the plus side I can get my cardio by just walking around at lunchtime. It does explain why I was overheated and out of breath by the time I reached my desk. If I wasn't sure I was out of shape then, it was confirmed after running into a coworker after climbing the stairs and then attempting to have a coherent conversation. Uh huh. The man is lucky I didn't collapse in front of him between the words I will *gasp* send you an email *gasp* later. Because I could not for the life of me put together a sentence and sound like a normal human and stand. What the heck happens to me??? I used to be the Hour long on a treadmill at the gym is no big thing girl. Now?? Stairs kick my butt.

Enough is enough. Yesterday I womped my Fitbit goals. I got my little green you did it bada bump chime. I walked at lunchtime and then I tried the treadmill with no shoes... Not my brightest idea but I still got 30 minutes of cardio. Tonight is treadmill with shoes. I will be kick butt again. I will lose the weight and I will be able to pick up my husband. Don't ask it's some weird farm thing. When your husband randomly picks you up and twirls you in the barn you... Well never mind I think the lack of oxygen is still affecting my brain cells. I'm gonna go walk around like a crazy lady now so I can get my 5 miles in. If you never hear from me again I hyperventilated on one of the staircases at work and wasn't able to ask for coherent help so they assumed I was drunk and left me to sleep it off. It could happen...

20 August 2016

I am a closet smoked oyster eater and.. I have no clue what to do with myself so I ate smoked oysters. The tiny humans are asleep for a late nap. The preteen is at a sleepover. The husband is in the barn starting chores. I'm basically stuck in the house until a dog barks and wakes everyone up or someone wakes up on their own. I refuse to wake anyone up. I just won't. They're not happy when you wake them up. I refuse to force to very unhappy tiny humans on myself until I absolutely have to. So? So I ate smoked oysters.. and a banana. Technically healthy foods although I don't recommend the combination. Anyone who knows me.. NO I'm not preggers again. I look preggers because I cannot get my butt in gear and lose weight to save my life. The oysters and banana probably didn't help...

Fiber pills!! Seem to do all sorts of things for me. Such as.. farting! I'm farting. Luckily no one is awake or here to hear me. When they are I blame it on the nearest animal. Yes.. cows fart loud enough for your to hear them sometimes. I can totally blame these on a cow. I've been taking 2 about 20 minutes before each meal and it does seem to curb my appetite some. Or maybe that's the big glass of water I'm taking with them. That whole warning to only take them in an upright position and to start out with only 1 serving.. 1 serving is 5 pills 4 times daily. HOLY PILLS BATMAN. No. No thank you. 2 before a meal sounded like a splendid plan to me. Now I just have to get cravings under control. And exercise... And.. stop eating smoked oysters with a banana as a snack. No. Still not pregnant. Why is it that after 3 everyone wants to know when the next one is? Do they want to see if we are the next 20 and counting? 3 are like herding cats. I would hate to see what 4 or 5 are like.

Todays lesson.. no more oysters.. fiber pills.. water.. and move. Move more. A lot more..

18 August 2016

The site block on my journal at work is messing with me. Journaling on an iPhone loses its inspiration about half way through because letter picking with my thumbs is just annoying. It's like a never ending text message to myself. I wonder which looks worse the multiple attempts to see my journal that has been labeled as porn or sending a never ending text message. If IT was smart they would just let me have my porn.

So far I'm struggling. I'm stuck. My stuck weight used to be 180. Now it's 206. I don't want my stuck weight to be 206. I miss working out and having pants that fit properly. I need something to pull me out of 206. I think I'm wedged. Today I'm trying to come up with ways to unstuck myself, rambling because iPhone journals suck, and debating psyllium husk pills. Maybe if I took them I wouldn't be tempted to eat so much. I wonder what they look like if you put them in a cup of water and let them dissolve. Anyone have any experience with these things?

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