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15 January 2015

Irrational slightly deranged ranting but dang it.. I need to or I'm going for the candy bowl. I will eat the entire freaking bowl too because I will think I deserve it after all this crap. I've been MIA.. again. Still struggling. Still trying to find my groove. I think I know why I'm struggling though. It's no secret that I attempt to do more than should be humanly possible. I work full time, have the 3 kids, help out on the farm, attempt to keep the house standing, barely sleep, shlep the preteen to every practice, game, after school thingymabob,hmm.. this doesn't sound like alot now that I've typed it. Is there more? Maybe I do more and I'm attempting to block it out. Anyways... I'm at my wits end. I did AMAZING yesterday.. until I got home from basketball practice with a screaming 4 month old yelling give me the boob.. a 2.5 yr old yelling chips? Chips? You give me chips? And the preteen?? She decided to immediately pack her lunch. Oh not in the brand spankin new lunchbag I got her. No.. she wanted to use the free one I got for me that has swirly mabobs. Why??? Because it's mine and not hers... and she would lose it... or spill something in it and make it nasty. So I told her no. Go use the one I paid money for that you picked out.. I got attitude the whole night over a freaking lunchbag.

See??? These are the things that are making me nuts. It's the fact that instead of taking the garbage out of the can and putting a new bag in they will shove as much crap as they can into it until it either a. is so full it looks like the leaning tower of garbage b. the bag retreats in dread and becomes submerged under the last foot of garabage or c. becomes so freaking packed that I consider buying a new garbage can because I don't own the jaws of life. Or the dish washer! We have one. It's located right under the microwave so I know they've seen it. So why can't they seem to figure out the dishes go in there? Then it started acting up and it would get stuck in the wash cycle. Just click it one notch I would tell them. Do they?? Nope. They turn the darn thing completely off so the dishes sit in crappy water until I realize what they have done. Just turn it one teeny tiny FREAKING click. And why is the couch a sock disposal!?!?!?! Why is the dog shedding in the middle of winter when it's -4 outside?? Why is everyone's solution to the shedding to throw a towel or a blanket over the hair on the couch before they sit?? AND WHY ARE THE DOGS SUDDENLY SHREDDING EVERY FREAKING BAG OF GARBAGE that does finally make it out of the house?? WHY?? Because no one can remember to shut the back freaking door and they can. That's why!!

I may need sleep.. or prozac.. or a vacation. All I know is I left the house this morning yelling "You better watch it! One of these days I just won't come home! I'll go to a freaking spa!" To which the preteen just gave me a blank stare because hubby was already out to the barn and lets face it.. the 2.5 yr old and the 4 month old well they were too busy seeing who could blow the biggest snot bubble.

*smacking head* Thank you for listening to my rant. I'm going to log the almond joy now.

09 January 2015

Weigh-in: 191.8 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 66.8 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (8 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   losing 1.0 lb a week

08 January 2015

Apparently I am an emotional eater. It doesn't matter what emotion I'm having if I'm emotional I'm an eater. It's a miracle I'm not bigger than I am. Anyways.. cross your fingers! Hopefully I stop wanting to eat everything in sight soon.

A couple weeks ago my boss pulled one of her stunts. Long story short I worked from home during a snow storm and she made me take personal time because I didn't clear this with her. Sure.. I left her an email the night before saying "Just in case is this ok?" and sure.. I called her that morning and left her a message. "There is 13 inches of snow here and we're in white out conditions. I'm going to work on X, Y, and Z. If you need me for anything call me at ###-####" and Sure... I sent her emails throughout the day, I sent her boss emails throughout the day, heck I even sent funny emails to co-workers. Apparently I needed to do some sort of snow dance and a ritual that involved killing livestock.

This was too much for me. After 4 yrs I dusted off my resume and posted it everywhere. Applied for the ONLY other job in town doing what I do and applied for anything I didn't do but thought I could do. I can milk cows. I can do anything. Heck I could be plumber.. pipe.. water.. pipe gunk.. We do it all the time in the barn.

Monday after yet another event where she got mad at me for one thing (she wasn't cc'd on an email asking for data) then took it out on me throughout the entire freaking day. The woman actually came into my cube 4 times within 2 minutes about the same project, each time throwing her arms in the air, looking pretty much insane, repeating the same thing, telling me I cannot communicate, because I asked a co-worker to look at a program I had built and verified it made sense to her.. the end freaking user. Took 1 minute but she saw it before the boss. OMG. Ritual killing of paperclips demanded. I was ready to snap and quit or get fired. Anything to get away from this woman.

Yesterday I get an email from the ONLY other job in town for a writer. They want to see my writing samples! They want to know more about me! Me! Granted this doesn't mean crap. It isn't an interview. It sure as crap made me absolutely freaking delighted though. So cross your fingers they want me. Everyone should want me. I'm fabulous. Now I just have to send the email back with the samples to show them of fabulous I am and stop hunting down chocolate so I'll fit into my slacks if they do call for an interview. So cross your fingers. Cross my sleeves behind my back so I can't reach my mouth. Cross something.. anything.

06 January 2015

I haven't been on here in forever. I've been logging, exercising, and being relatively accountable. At least as accountable as you can be with 3 kids. You try saying no to a 2 yr old feeding you chips. If it weren't enough they taste good its the only time he wasn't running through the house in nothing but a diaper pretending to be a puppy. Just like the only time he wasn't whining he wanted down at the store was when he was feeding me popcorn chicken. Luckily I'm back at work now so the only person feeding me during the day is co-workers. They seem to stop at 1 chocolate covered pretzel though and don't sit in front of me seeing how many they can shove in my mouth at one time while they giggle with delight.

Good news is I've gone back to tracking my calories burned. According to the little dohicky I burn between 2200-2500 calories a day. I figure so long as I eat less than I burn I'm doing alright. I'm not sweating the chocolate covered pretzel or coffee with cream. So long as I workout that day, ate some fruits and veggies, and still have a 500 calorie deficit I consider it my prize for the day. So long as I'm not double fisting m and ms I'm doing better than I was before.. not that I will admit to double fisting m & ms.. or chocolate chips.. or sneaking rum balls in the middle of the night. We won't even mention the driveby stealing of ramen noodles from the preteen. It's not my fault she left her lunch unguarded.

See? You didn't miss much. Life is still insane. I'm still going nuts. The only change is I'm wearing a dohicky and it tells me how many cookies I can sneak without them going to my rear end. I love dohickys. If I'm still wearing it in 3 months i think I will get a fitbit. Because dohickys are fun. And that one's waterproof.. I've already stumbled into the shower with this one still strapped to my arm. Luckily I noticed it before the second verse of the lego movie song "Everything is Awesome" Listen to it. I dare you. You'll get it stuck in your head too and suddenly find yourself standing in front of the copier at work singing it.. out loud... while you try to figure out how to make copies without changing the toner because well.. I changed the toner last time and it's not my turn.

04 January 2015

Weigh-in: 192.5 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 67.5 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (8 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   losing 0.0 lb a week

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