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28 July 2016

Today I am attempting to work from home with puke boy, a pre-teen who is apparently dying because I forced her to the outside, little 4 yr old man who disappeared into the barn to go see daddy about 2 hours ago, and the dairyfarmerswife's husband who disappeared into the barn at about 6am. I'm working from home so that is my excuse for not disappearing into the barn as well. Plus.. I have my own little barn experience going on right now because the dog who sheds has come in and reeks like a manure pile but there is no manure on her. I'm afraid to investigate further and she's shedding under the dining room table so we've agreed to leave one another alone. Her hair balls are threatening invasion.

As an added bonus of working from home we decided to make a bonfire out of the old desk when we installed new hardwood floors so I now have a modified standing desk at the bar. Woohoo! After 3 hours I can kinda feel it. Maybe I should put shoes on. Or pants... maybe clothing I wouldn't mind the mailman seeing me in... I'm still debating.

Today should be a challenge not only with clothing considerations but also with temptation. Two foot to my left is the husbands birthday cake with choco chip oreos sitting on top because the kids decided the combination of dads two favorite cookies equaled the perfect bday gift. A pizza with the toppings eaten off just appeared courtesy of puke boy about 1 foot to my left because eggs were yucky and he insisted it was the only thing he could eat. He's sick you know. Pizza apparently equals wellness because he just sailed out the door and tackled daddy on the skid steer demanding to have his breakfast shaken not stirred. I think he's on the mend. Either way this will be a great test to his level of wellness. The pre-teen.. still dying on the couch now watching some E show that has a lot of Oh no she didn'ts. I'm afraid to look.

So family chaos.. unlimited food.. sugar within smellin distance.. and a dog that keeps shaking sending clouds of hair into the air. That's just since 9:28 am. I've got this. I have to. My ankles are telling me to lighten the load already as I type. Plus yesterday we had a fire alarm go off at work and we stood outside in the sun for an hour. I sweat now. Not a normal oh I'm hot. It was not pretty. I've noticed I sweat more at 200 than I did at 150. A pinterest post told me this was common. I am now taking the advice of P and assuming that if I lose the weight I will sweat less and be able to stand my own stench after an hour long fire drill in the sun.

Meal Plan today:
Breakfast: Omlette with mushrooms and ham.. it was delicious
Lunch: Leftover steak diced up on a salad
Dinner: The pork chops who were stood up last night along with sweet potatoes and possibly corn if I make it to the little grocery store in town and they actually have corn. Either that or grilled zucchini.
Snack: Melon spears of yumminess

27 July 2016

Error #1 not telling my family I developed a plan. Error #2 assuming I can stick to a plan when my family is involved. The husband decided he should age today and had a birthday which I was somehow in denial of because I blacked out that whole birthday cake event that was about to happen. I did only have a tiny piece and I logged it. Oh and then the preteen had an hour and a half long softball practice turn into 2 hours... At dinner time.. Which the boys informed me of through a series of screams sobs and pleads so our dinner ended up being at the local ice cream stand. I resisted the ice cream and traded my pork chop dinner for a Texas hot and a couple of the kids fries. All logged. Not an all out binge but not the greatest. So.... Back up on the horse but leaning to one side slightly. And now a kid has puked on the birthday boy.

27 July 2016

I, DairyFarmersWife, do so solemnly vow to create a meal plan that I stick to and confess my sins just about every night. Because there will be sins. I can guarantee there will be sins. And there will be nights when I don't confess because things happen. I vow to take it one day at a time and no sin will knock me off my horse. It doesn't matter how bad you are at riding or how many times you fall off, as long as I get back on I can still call myself a cowboy.

The PLAN is to make a meal plan each day of what I will eat. Because I have a serious problem right now when it comes to food. I like to eat it. I like to think about it. I like to eat it again. And.. I like to graze. I've been spending too much time with the office cube herd and not enough time with the cow herd. I will avoid trigger foods like sugar and bread. I will confess my sins or my slips or random things that happen that cause me to think "A candy bar would be nice about now." So.. to sum it up.. meals, no grazing, and being self aware of anything that causes me to swerve through traffic to the ice cream stand because I'm ___ and the kids aren't in the car.

Meal plan 7/27/16
Breakfast: Omlete from the cafeteria
Lunch: 3. oz Steak and Shroom salad with blue cheese.. oh and a cup of cherries
Snack: cup of baby carrots
Dinner: Pork chops, sweet potato, and zucchini

26 July 2016

Ever blink and find out it's a different month? That pretty much sums up my summer so far. I've been super busy between the house projects, the barn projects, a preteens softball schedule, 2 boys that see summer as streaking season, and a job.. oh and a farm.. oh and um.. everything else in life. So.. I've been slacking when it comes to journaling. Then wham! Something spun me around.

I was reading a magazine in the doctors office and saw the title.. is restricting your food good? Turns out this girl checked out overeaters anonymous. If you know about this then please forgive me because I'm probably going to skewer it with a hay fork. I'm completely in the dark don't be surprised. I live in the middle of a cow pasture. Not exactly an overeaters anonymous place. Unless you count the cows.. they probably qualify.

The groups this girl tried weren't her because there is a religious factor and she didn't like how rigid it is. That wasn't what smacked me anyways it was the things this girl says the people in the group talked about. Like.. if we go out to dinner and there is a bread basket in front of me I'm not listening to you I'm imagining fluffy buttery goodness. Ok.. not exactly true for me but you take me to texas roadhouse I'm probably making more eye contact with the roll basket than you.

So.. it got me curious. I checked out the lessons podcast. Not exactly for me either. What really sucked me in was the people podcasts. They come in and share their experience.. OMG.. I'm not alone!! I'm not the only one that gets a dime bag of candy for the ride home then throws away the wrapper when I get home so the kids never know. I'm not the only one who has claimed I don't know what happened to your cookies honey.. wasn't me.. I have no idea how those crumbs got on my boobs. Bonus realization.. I've never picked food out of a garbage can and ate it so I now have hope that maybe my addiction isn't full blown and there is hope. That sounds bad right? Still it's true. I judge myself based on others. I don't really judge others I just judge myself based on them. Like asking my husband in Walmart if the woman in the spandex pants in front of us has a smaller butt than mine. I can't see mine.. therefore I have to rely on other's butts to judge my own. I haven't journaled in a long time.. please forgive me I have diariah of the journal.

Anywho.. after my newfound WHAM I'm not alone realization I immediately looked for more podcasts and more advice. Now I'm picking and choosing and treating OA as a buffet. Taking a little advice here and there and making my own plan and seeing how it goes. WARNING.. if you read these you have just become my sponsor or.. um.. people I tell things to so I feel like I have to follow through or I am a poop head. CAUTION.. future journals will make you think I have lost my mind. This is just a this is what I'm doing journal.. expect future food plans and confessionals.

25 July 2016

Weigh-in: 206.9 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 81.9 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   gaining 0.3 lb a week

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