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07 September 2016

Today is Day 1 of the worst experiment ever. I was intrigued and I decided this would be a nice distraction from the usual hamster wheel. The experiment is... eat only when your body signals that it is hungry. Yes.. that is the whole experiment. Well that and don't eat crap. An article from Girls Gone Strong recommended the whole listen to your body thing. On one hand.. it makes sense. Wait until your body says feed me then feed it. No snack every 3 hours or tracking until you're crosseyed then filling in any gaps with carrots and pickles. Google and every health article on the web scream no but seriously.. it had too much common sense not to try it. Hence, the worst experiment ever was born. Because.. nothing else seems to be working and I like to think of myself as a lab experiment.. because I'm weird.. and I work with a lot of chemists.. and I was bored and tired of being a giant bird poop target.

Today's results.. I decided early on my body doesn't have a freaking clue what it wants. When you combine this with tight slacks that keep rolling down because the waist is too high and they don't have pockets.. stupid new slacks... well um.. body has no freaking clue. It didn't figure out it was hungry until 10:30 am when I had a cold omelet because the cafeteria closes at 9. This could be the giant grilled chicken dinner the night before but still. Lunch was at 1:30 but the body said it was full before I could finish the delicious leftovers from the night before. 3:30ish.. I think I was hungry. It was either that or my pants got tighter and I was sleepy so I had a peach and string cheese. I'm slightly confused because when I got up to go get the peach and string cheese from the community fridge in the break room the body said.. Nope psych!! I'm not too hungry. But I already got up so stuff it body you're eating a peach and string cheese. It's now 6:30.. my body still thinks it's full. It better not decide it's hungry at 2:30 in the morning or there will be some serious muttering about the worst experiment ever.

That's all I've got. I need to run to the local Podunk store for last minute school supplies because little man starts PreK and apparently he needs a travel pillow.. where the heck do you buy a travel size pillow? My version of a travel size pillow is an overly stuffed king size but I think this might be frowned upon. Worse comes to worse I buy a regular size one and turn it into 2. Seriously.. travel size?? Oh and a stuffed animal to sleep with.. He's 4... he sleeps with matchbox cars, nerf guns, and toy farm fencing.. that kid sleeps with nothing soft. He isn't going to know what to do.

06 September 2016

02 September 2016

I ate a sticky bun for breakfast this morning. It was glorious. It's an Amish sticky bun from just around the corner so I figure it was made the old fashioned way so it's... less processed. That's what I'm telling myself. Recorded and moving on.

Today is clothes shopping with the preteen at this horrible place called The Mall. It's a horrible little maze of these things called stores that have windows full of hoochy clothes that the preteen oohs and ahhs over. Little does she know I went to the co-op this morning to get pig feed so her set of burlap bags are already here. I figure this is the only way the preteen, who already has a boyfriend, will remain undistracted in school. Really.. it's for her.. not my sanity. She will realize this when she's older and her preteen is all legs.

Now I have to go to the outside that is filled with overly excited preteens in a maze of wallet stinkers to see how many steps it takes to cloth a preteen, a Pre-K little man and break my bank account. That sticky bun will be a distant memory by the time I sob my way home. :)

25 August 2016

I have worked out 3 days. In a row. Not that 10 minutes here or there. 30 minutes on a machine that makes me sweat like a sprinkler. I'm a little sore, my elliptical laughs at me as I gasp curse words at it and my husband thinks I've lost my mind. Mostly because the only way I can workout is after the boys go to bed and that means 6 hours of sleep.... But... I've missed this more than I realized. I feel good. I feel like I'm in control again. I feel like I have the fat chick that has taken over lately in a headlock and I'm giving her a nuggy and demanding she yells uncle. I want my body back and my health and my butt... Well ok.. I really want a smaller more tone butt than I have ever had but I'm getting there. One night at a time.

Ok so.... There is the good, the bad, and the clam bake. The good is I hit all the Fitbit goals that Fitbit set for me 2 days in a row. I was almost on a streak! Then today happened. It wasn't the complete flop it could have been. I had a decent breakfast and didn't stuff myself at the company clam bake. I passed up ice cream and I only took the smallest bit of anything unhealthy that I wanted to try so yay for self control!! Then I spent the night I. The car driving to get the preteen glasses and then chase down haybine parts. I did manage 30 minutes on the elliptical so I'm still doing pretty good. So.. 10,000 steps? Nope. 5 miles? Hahahahhahaha uh uh. 10 flights of stairs? Nope I did get 5 though. Calories? Killed it. With a 500 deficit and calorie guessing on a lot of things I think today was pretty even. So yay for no progress in either direction! Wooohoo! Lol

24 August 2016

Is it a sign you're completely out of shape when your Fitbit tells you walking around outside at lunchtime is cardio? On the plus side I can get my cardio by just walking around at lunchtime. It does explain why I was overheated and out of breath by the time I reached my desk. If I wasn't sure I was out of shape then, it was confirmed after running into a coworker after climbing the stairs and then attempting to have a coherent conversation. Uh huh. The man is lucky I didn't collapse in front of him between the words I will *gasp* send you an email *gasp* later. Because I could not for the life of me put together a sentence and sound like a normal human and stand. What the heck happens to me??? I used to be the Hour long on a treadmill at the gym is no big thing girl. Now?? Stairs kick my butt.

Enough is enough. Yesterday I womped my Fitbit goals. I got my little green you did it bada bump chime. I walked at lunchtime and then I tried the treadmill with no shoes... Not my brightest idea but I still got 30 minutes of cardio. Tonight is treadmill with shoes. I will be kick butt again. I will lose the weight and I will be able to pick up my husband. Don't ask it's some weird farm thing. When your husband randomly picks you up and twirls you in the barn you... Well never mind I think the lack of oxygen is still affecting my brain cells. I'm gonna go walk around like a crazy lady now so I can get my 5 miles in. If you never hear from me again I hyperventilated on one of the staircases at work and wasn't able to ask for coherent help so they assumed I was drunk and left me to sleep it off. It could happen...

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