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16 January 2017

It may not be a great day but any day that makes progress is a good day. The scale was friendly this morning but I'm only logging on Wednesdays. I have a hope and dream that some day I will only weigh in once a week but the scale was yelling for me after yesterdays slip up. So after I removed the kid that was using the scale as a seat... I weighed in. Maybe it was compressed by the tiny butt that sat there the entire time I took my shower. Which really was better than the other tiny butt that randomly yanked the shower curtain back to ask me what I was doing and demanded to go to grandmas today. I suggested that grandmas don't get up before 6 like normal human beings but the scowl suggested he thought I was a big fat liar pants.

Today is going to be a good day. I've packed fruit for the sweet tooth, only had 1 cup of coffee despite only getting 5 hours and 46 minutes of sleep, plan to go walking at lunchtime, and it's a holiday so the kids are home eating every sugar made crap food in the house. By the time I get home I expect to find us almost completely out of food and every room trashed. Seriously.. it's like they were raised in a barn or something. Oh wait! They were!! *face plant*

15 January 2017

I face planted today in the middle of my triumphant "I've got this march". Not literally which is lucky but random sweet things still seemed to be shoved into my mouth. I blame my inner fat chick. And chocolate muffins, and cinnamon buns, and frosted chocolate cup cakes.. and zebra cakes, and tiny children that only take a bite of something and then hand it to me and say. I'm done. All that, and needy children, and 6 hours of sleep is a bad combination. It's like asking an alcoholic to set up a wine cellar.

Tomorrow is another day and today I have announced my pie hole to be officially shut. I kind of wonder if I tried a sugar fast how far I would get. Could I go a week without sugar? How badly would I whine? How many family members would be permanently scared? I know I can do it. I have done it. I just haven't done it in a very long time. Then again declaring today is the day almost definitely means failure. Then again.. there is only 2 hours before bedtime. As long as I don't start sleep walking I could make it through these next two hours....

14 January 2017

Today's inspiration is brought to you by she who will not be named. Ever have that person in your life who you try to be friends with but then they say or do something that makes you wonder why you try or wonder what it would actually be like to actually throat punch someone? I have that person. The farm throws us together so we have to see each other kind of regularly. We're tolerant to each other, kind of similar in a lot of ways, but.. well.. anytime I'm nice I have things happen like a picture of my butt will show up on facebook while I'm feeding barn cats with the caption "The crazy cat lady really does exist." So yeah.. not friends. And honestly.. it's 5 degrees out. I would rather buy a bag of cat food than find a frozen, half starved barn cat on my door step. Plus.. we have no rats in the barn or mice in the house so.. suck it. Yes I'm a bit defensive. Both to butt pictures and being called a crazy cat lady.

Anyways.. she who will not be named is also the girl whose life is perfect and she's always on facebook showing her perfect life. HA!! Some time ago she must have gone to the gym and had to tell everyone she was at the gym. I'm slightly jealous she had the time and money to go to a gym. We're both with a farmer, both have kids, both about the same build.. she actually might be a little smaller than me. Her suddenly going to the gym is inspiring me to get my crazy cat lady wide bottom into gear.

I know.. women should support women and lift them up and blah blah blah. But seriously?? The woman has done something or said something one too many times. I was finally getting over her analysis of my home and how it was organized and now my butt is all over facebook. It's on cupcake!!

I probably ate a little more than I should have today but all good things and I have to milk cows tonight.. oh and I got on the elliptical for 20 minutes.. and I will be putting together my old workout list. 150 lbs here I come. Yes.. I'm being petty, jealous, and a little childish but I don't care. Seriously.. she put my butt on facebook then told the world she was going to the gym. Something has got to be done. That thing is making sure my crazy cat lady butt looks better than her my life is perfect butt.

13 January 2017

Yesterday I completed the impossible. I avoided crap, ate well, and only indulged in a single piece of dove dark chocolate promises. I don't consider this crap because well.. it's dove and it's dark chocolate. Some people would consider it to have good properties. Plus I only had one tiny inch by inch square so right now I consider myself the mistress of my domain. If I wasn't.. well I would have eaten the whole darn bowl. So I win. I don't care what anyone who likes to point out the negative says. I won.

I didn't get to workout and my fitbit called me a sloth though.. Actually I think my fitbit is laughing at me because I set a goal of 10,000 steps. Hmm.. come to think of it a sloth may move more than I did yesterday. Today my goal is to get my 10,000 steps and eat like a normal human being attempting to claim only a single zip code with the size of their butt.

The husband attempted to pick me up yesterday. He used to pick me up and twirl me around before the last tiny human but has been smart enough to avoid that activity since I was about 6 months pregnant. I can't decide whose back popped louder. Mine or his. Mine from him attempting to not drop me or his from attempting to pick me up. The jury is still out. It is inspiring though.

Today's reason to lose weight is to avoid back surgery to either me or my spouse and still enjoy the thrill of having a man pick me up and twirl me. Everyone should be twirled. I'm not positive but I think it releases happy endorphins. And well.. you get twirled.

12 January 2017

I've decided that I should start every single one of my journal entries with a disclaimer that I love my children more than anything else on earth and then follow that with the but.. I do love them. I don't know what I would do without them. I can even take part of the responsibility and say I've raised them to be the independent little humans they are. That being said.. they are stressful little independent tiny humans.

I blame the stress.. not the kids for my current weight. Take yesterday for instance. Little man had to go to the dentist for some major work. He ended up having to be put under, have a tooth removed, and did not do well at all through the whole thing. In the dentists own words, "When he decided he had enough, he was done." Yes.. that describes my stubborn children perfectly. Once they make up their minds they might as well be made out of concrete. Even if they are almost completely unconscious, drugged, numbed, and supposedly in a state where they should be cooperative. Yup.. that's my kid. We have to go back for a second visit now to finish all the work and get a spacer added. Yes.. he's 4. Yes it's a baby tooth. It's a 12 yr old molar. Teeth move around. Can you tell I've had 101 people ask me why I'm doing expensive things to my childs mouth? Don't even get me started on the whole.. It began when he fell off a tractor..

Yesterday after we finally got away from the dentist we (yes we) treated our aches, swelling, nerves, pain, and general exhaustion and stress with ice cream and more ice cream and in my case tiny cute little danishes that looked amazing right there next to the door of the store. Oh and lasagna.. it was a softish food. He didn't want his so I ate it for him. I gained 5 lbs yesterday. Yes. 5 lbs in 1 day. How? Why? WTF?? Stress. All stress. I stress.. I eat. I eat again and then I eat some more.

This is just the stress from 1 of the tiny humans. The other tiny human has become a tiny 22 inch tall ball of destruction. He picks locks, he takes thing apart because he can, he looks like the most innocent thing on the planet complete with puppy eyes so no one believes me but that kid has the skills to rob a bank.

The preteen.. became a teen. That right there should sum most of that up.

I need stress management. I tried meditating, deep breathing, counting, picturing myself some place peaceful, etc. It's not working. I tried a glass of wine, ice cream, chocolate, etc. It's not working. I think next I will try knitting myself a fuzzy straight jacket complete with a handy dandy ear plug pocket for easy access. Only problem is I have no time to knit!!

Anyways.. Today is the day.. blah blah blah.. reduce sugar, and crap food, and caffeine.. blah blah blah. Going to find my inner peace.. blah blah blah. Truth is if I could just get with the program my anxiety would be lower, I would weigh less and be able to keep up with the tiny humans better, and I would be better able to find the humor in things. Like my 4 yr old becoming just like an angry drunk after the dentist. Seriously.. He's 4. And he's fine. He told me so. Right after he told me he hated the truck at the stop light next to us because it had too many rocks. I didn't see any rocks but I was inclined to believe him.

Also.. those people who posted funny videos of their kids after the dentist.. totally misleading when yours turns into the angry kid tired of being pushed around. He wants his paper and his pencil and he wants it now.

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