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06 April 2016

My name is Elizabeth and I have front butt. It's official. I looked in the mirror this morning and I have the one thing I've feared since I spotted it on my mom and sister. I have front butt. I don't like front butt. I have every intention of losing my front butt. I'm trying to look at this positively and see it as motivation to relocate my front butt and reduce the zip code of my butt butt. Lets face it. I have a butt obsession. Starting today I am going to come up with a list of exercises and stick to it. If I start small and pay the preteen to babysit for 15 minutes I could actually accomplish this. So that's the plan. Find daily motivation in front butts and actually workout in some way.

A few weeks ago I surrendered and bought a fitbit hr because well.. I wanted to confirm that I could eat more than 1200 calories. Because well.. 1200 calories just seems like torture. Cruel cruel torture. So long as I have a 500-700 calorie deficit I should show some progress on the butt plan. So workout... relocate the butt.. and eat less than I burn. So far this plan is coming along nicely. I think.. Note to self.. buy a new full size mirror for the bedroom so I don't lose sight of the front butt.

In other exciting news. I have an extremely round pregnant barn cat living in my house. She looks like a basketball. It kind of makes me wonder if they are stuck but when I mentioned making her an appointment everyone looked at me like I was nuts. Something about nature taking it's course or some crap. All I know is I have a round basketball barn cat living upstairs and I don't want her to explode. Luckily she does use a litter box and she likes the house so well we can hear her purring upstairs all the way downstairs. The dogs are slightly confused but they look at cats as toys so what they don't know won't hurt them. It does seem to give them gas though. My eyes are watering right now as I type. gasp...

Does any of this make sense anymore? I lost track between my eyes stinging and watching little man take all the knobs off my dresser. I'm waiting to see what he does next. Plus his brother is napping and he is quiet as he dismantles my dresser.

06 April 2016

Weigh-in: 203.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 78.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (3 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   gaining 0.8 lb a week

04 April 2016

Do you ever feel like you are failing at life? Ok that's a bit dramatic but that's the question that keeps popping into my head. It's one of those negative self talk things that seem way more horrible than reality. I like to think it's my butt's negative self talk to manipulate me into eating another cookie. It's my inner fat girl who wants cake and she want's it now. What do we want? Cake! How do we get it? Keep asking the brain if they feel like they are failing at life. Yay! I also have a tendancy to tell myself I need to lose way more weight than I actually need to lose because if I keep gaining and losing the way I do I figure I will have to lose 10000 lbs in order to actually lose 50 lbs.

So yeah.. that's me tonight. Negative self thoughts. Talking to my butt. Resisting another cookie. And cake.. there really is cake. The preteen made a chocolate cake from scratch. Which kept her busy and off her phone away from a preteen boy who keeps asking her to kiss him. Seriously?? They are 12. It's only cute when kids under 2 kiss. After that? No. Not until they are 30. So far she seems to be resisting. At least from what I can tell she is resisting. She doesn't tell me anything but I have a nanny program on her cell phone. What ever happened to only having a land line with a 30 ft cord you stretched into the coat closet for privacy? I can't even have the hubby answer the phone to sound intimidating. All they do is text! Gah!

I should be meditating and working out or something.. like drinking lots of wine but I can't even manage that because the boys are running circles around me. Literally.. circles. I'm waiting for one of them to decide to run around me with rope to tie me up. They've become obsessed with spider man so it's only a matter of time. Oh and the husband is shopping for a 3rd row vehicle. Uh huh.. yup. No.. just no. But.. no. Just no. BUT.. it doesn't help peanut got his first big boy haircut and he no longer looks like a baby. Sigh..

So this is me. I'm a hot mess. I talk to myself. I'm pretty sure my butt is conspiring against me and any sane person would probably recommend I trade the dairy farm for a nut farm. The only problem is nuts are too high in calories and I would probably eat my way into an even larger butt. I'm not sure if that is that rock bottom spot I need to hit before I slap myself and yell SUCK IT UP. It seems close though right? Maybe I should go take some this was me before pictures. Before pictures equal getting off one's butt right? Maybe? *smacking head*
Weigh-in: 204.4 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 79.4 lb Diet followed poorly

28 January 2016

Weigh-in: 195.2 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 70.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (7 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   losing 1.1 lb a week

15 January 2016

I'm on day 2 of a sugar fast. I decided after playing a game of one cookie for you and 2 for me!! with the 3 yr old little man that I may have some sort of addiction problem. Well.. ok I knew I had the addiction problem but now the sugar monster had knocked me to the ground and was sitting on me and smirking at me... so... it's time to punch the sugar monster in the throat. And then knock it to ground.. and sit on it.. and declare myself the winner. Yeah baby!!

I may have issues. Right now my one issue is sugar. I love it. I considered licking my son's waffle before giving it to him this morning but I resisted. I resisted putting sugar in my coffee. I resisted the candy bowl on my desk.. I'm even managing to resist some simple carbs like pizza and bread because I think they are the sugar monsters minions. Bad minions. Bad!!

It helps that I took a few beginning pictures tonight. Well technically the preteen did. She might be scared for life now. The good news is I now have a 360 view of what I look like. All I can say is HOLY CRAP. Sugar monster I'm going to wipe the ground with you. I have to.. the picture of my butt told me too.

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