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13 August 2014

Down to single digits! Still 9 days to go. Still preggers. Still round. Still peeing every 10 freaking minutes. Still haven't packed a bag for the hospital. Still don't have a name. *blink* *twitch* Is it bad when you look forward to child birth just so you can get more than 30 minutes of sleep at a time? At this point I think I may volunteer to become a toilet paper spokesperson. So far I like Charmin the best.. just sayin.

Well I made it to the gym Monday for 15 whole minutes. Mostly because I forgot my book and watching Extra on mute while bad 80s music is being played over the loud speaker was all I could take. Tuesday I skipped the gym because I thought my whining would cause my co-workers to lynch me. It may have. They kept getting excited every time I stood up and gasped because I stood up but the kid didn't. I got a few comments about how the baby dropped Tuesday morning so maybe that's why I'm now waddling like an obese duck wearing leg weights. I don't see it.. then again I can't see my toes. And can't touch my own toes anymore.. luckily little man finds helping mommy put her shoes on highly entertaining. If only he would put them on the correct foot. Or pick ones that match... He's still very proud of his high heel/flip flop combo.

I've got a new smutty book and plan to attempt the gym again today. The jalapenos on my taco salad didn't work yesterday. Maybe bouncing on the elliptical will work. Something has to jiggle this kid loose. Little man attempted to squeeze him out like a tube of toothpaste last night. Apparently there was no room left on my lap so he decided the baby bump made a perfect seat. The baby bump disagreed.. I got flashes of the future that included little man wrestling his little brother. It's going to happen.. Two sturdy farm boys??? Hopefully we can avoid the emergency room.

Weight and food?? Have me stumped. I'm not eating a ton. Probably around 1500-1800 calories a day. Not alot of junk. Still obsessed with watermelon. Maybe it's water weight or maybe you gain a little extra weight before birth?? I don't know. I know my feet looked a little bigger than normal last night. Maybe it's true and lack of sleep causes you to gain weight. No clue.. Still under 205 and hoping to stay there for 9 more days.. Or less if I can figure out a trick to talking this kid into coming out. No more though.. if it's more I'm taking the tractor across a field in the wrong direction until he pops out.

13 August 2014

Weigh-in: 203.8 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 3.8 lb Diet followed reasonably well

11 August 2014

11 days till my due date. Almost to single digits! I tried to speed up the process this weekend but painting the front of the milk house and unloading a load of hay only gave me hay rash and a sore back.... and me asking hubby to throw me in the car last night because I couldn't lift my foot high enough to get into my own Jeep. lol Well.. technically it got me a date at the fair too. I was making everyone nervous enough that they told hubby they would take over barn chores if he agreed to take me to our town fair for fireworks last night. Hubby and little man enjoyed the fair food. I got a small bowl of ice cream and was done. I didn't even want fried dough sprinkled in sugar. Something is seriously wrong with me at this point.

Now I just have to decide.. gym or no gym. I managed to get into my own vehicle without assistance this morning. I also managed to lock my keys in my car the second I got to work so I was 45 minutes late getting to my desk. I did learn which member of the maintenance crew could break into my car in 1 minute flat though. Trained security crew who is suppose to know how to jimmy a car?? 44 minutes and asked 300 times if I had AAA. Maintenance guy who was walking by and asked to give it a try. 1 minute. I love this man. I may name this child after him. lol I just have to find out what it is and get him a giant box of cookies as thank you. Now I can pretend it never happened and hubby will never know just how looney his wife has become.

So.. am I a good employee who makes up the time working through lunch.. or am I a pregnant woman going through the equivalent of a kid getting excited about spring break. Yes.. I consider maternity leave a type of spring break. It's the only extended vacation I can get from work, the barn, the cows, and I get to flash my boobs every couple of hours.. so yeah.. just like spring break. Plus bouncing on the elliptical could speed things up!

08 August 2014

You start to rethink your gym habit when you suddenly become tempted to ask the woman in the stall next to you "Can you help me put my pants on?" hehe That almost happened today. I made it to the gym for the 4th time this week. Then.. well.. I couldn't put my pants back on. lol Now I know what women are talking about when they say they stopped being able to put their own shoes on at this point of their pregnancy. Personally I'm a big kid and I haven't had to tie my shoes because well.. they either don't tie or because I've stretched them to the point that I can just pull them on. I probably wouldn't have been able to tie my shoes either. Somewhere a gym shoe nut is screaming at their screen. Actually a gym nut is probably passed out on the floor from rolling their eyes so many times if they follow me.

I should have known something had changed when my belly hit my steering wheel this morning. Only disadvantage to being 5 foot tall is there isn't alot of room between the two in the first place. Add a small human and you may as well stop eating in the car because everything gets stuck right there.. and then well.. by the time you get to work that tiny crumb from your breakfast bar has created a smiley face on your belly. That's why I switched to breakfast shakes.. so I could add some eye balls to the smiley face and pretend it was done on purpose. No one seems to question it with maternity clothes. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So.. there is a week left in my membership. Whether or not I'm able to take advantage of it will be determined by my ability to dress myself come Monday. Only 14 more days though! I think I've done pretty good at freaking out the other gym goers. If it comes to it I will just throw on some comfy shoes and walk the track upstairs.. in the air conditioning.. because pregnant chicks sweat. ALOT. It isn't pretty.

Now I just have to solve the mystery of the missing panties and my day will be complete. I could have sworn I packed an extra pair with my gym clothes like I always do.. because pregnant chicks sweat.. alot.. in alot of places. They were missing. Since I didn't discover any in the bathroom or locker room I'm assuming they're laying in a parking lot somewhere after leaping from my bag in an attempt to escape. Or.. maybe they are on the dining room table where I packed my bag. Or heck.. my bag is next to little man in the backseat when I take him to daycare. Maybe he's wearing them on his head right now. Till then.. wish me luck. I'm going commando hoping I don't sneeze and pee myself.

07 August 2014

It's official. People love to feed pregnant women. I came into the office today to find watermelon on my desk. Yummy! I guess my obsession with watermelon finally got annoying to someone in the office because it magically appeared. Then I get invited to lunch by my temp. Who fed me italian food and gave me my first baby gift. Adorable fox onsies. I wasn't really expecting anything with my 3rd other than eye rolls and mutterings of "really?? another one??" so I was shocked and over emotional. lol Then the restaurant brought out my dish.. and it was heaping high. As in could feed an army of 10 amount. Apparently they thought I needed more than the average person.

So .. um.. no gym. But watermelon and lasagna.. and some noodles.. and a meatball. But I did say no to the whole dessert thing. Even though they kept trying to put it in the to go box too. So no gym but eating wasn't uncontrollable either. Plus I started getting random contractions last night milking cows so maybe it was time for a rest day. Yes milking cows. I think the squats help hurry things up so I will continue to milk cows until I can't get back up. With little man.. that was the day before he came. lol With this one.. eh.. maybe tonight. Chasing little man in between cows is exhausting. Especially when he's wearing his superman shirt and he thinks he's superman.. then he comes running down the barn floor full speed expecting you to catch him and do one of those dirty dancing moves with the kid above your head in full flying pose. Which is ok. Unless someone else is in the barn. At this point my shirt doesn't cover my entire belly and well.. no one needs to see that train wreck except small children and the man that caused it. lol He better start thinking stretch marks are sexy or he's dead meat.

In other exciting news.. I've been a train wreck this week. Hubby went in for his regular exam and they found an irregular heartbeat.. on top of the diabetes they found last year. Today the cardiologist cleared him. He still has one more test but everything is ok. He has 3 of the risk factors they look for so he will have regular monitoring but ok. Great even. This way I will have regular confirmation that my husband is doing ok. His dad died at 53. We're about to have another baby. I don't care if he has to go for daily tests. At least now I can stop hyperventilating and balling my eyes out every time little man asks where he is. Instead I'll just keep hiding veggies in his food and telling little man to attack him so he gets his exercise.. even if it is superman poses in the barn with a 35 lb squirmy weight.

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