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05 October 2014

Weigh-in: 192.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 67.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (1 comment) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   gaining 2.6 lb a week

25 September 2014

I've got it! I have the diet of all diets. The lifestyle of all lifestyles. The ultimate of weight loss plans. All you have to do is have multiple children under the age of 3. Squirt screams when the cart stops moving in the store. This creates cardio.. and limits impulse shopping in the cookie aisle. Because well.. you're attempting to get everything you need as quickly as you can and you forget at least 1 thing in each aisle because um.. you're shopping and you only slept 3-5 hours the night before creating memory lapses and you can't stop to think or drool over cookies because he will scream like a howler monkey. An adorably cute howler monkey but I'm his mother and I think he's priceless the other shoppers glaring at me don't seem to share my adorable howler monkey thoughts. They're probably bitter people anyways that's why they're staring aimlessly at packages of cookies.

The toddler? He's all cardio and weight lifting. Because he's jealous and keeps insisting he's the baby. You try lifting up a 30 lb toddler on one hip and an infant in the crook of your other arm. It requires strength.. and balance.. and patience of steel!! But they're a cute little squirt and monster. And Monster has declared Squirt is his. Poor squirt.. He better be as sturdy as his bother or he's in serious trouble. The other thing is Monster is a fast lil bugger! Hense.. cardio. As I run after him.. screaming "Stop that!!" While he laughs.. like a monster.

Only drawbacks is I spent 4 hours running around getting everything we needed for the weekend and I got zero candy! Zero cookies.. Zero caffine?!!?!?! This is going to be one very interesting weekend. I will be the woman passed out on the kitchen floor.. drooling into the empty coffee cup. Crap.

24 September 2014

My workout partner needs to kick it up a notch.. or ten. I've manages to workout 2 days in a row this week despite all the groaning and whining. Granted.. the first day was only for 17 minutes and 56 seconds. It would have been longer but I swear all my partner did was stare at my boobs the entire time I was on the elliptical. 6 minutes in.. he was snoring. No joke.. my boobs put the guy to sleep. Should I be proud of this? Next thing I know there was a giant fart noise that lasted a good minute or two and I panicked.. I jumped off the elliptical and gave up.. because well.. he was strapped to my chest and I've had two other kids before. Poop filled diapers are scary enough as it is. Poop filled diapers strapped to your chest?!?!?! No thanks. I actually broke my ear buds jumping off the elliptical when they got stock on the cup holder. No joke. Poopy diapers are not something to play around with.. now if I could just figure out a way to get them to follow me. I could be a sprinter or win a 5k.

My workout buddy:
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Day 2.. we did better. The partner lasted 8 minutes before he was drooling.. on my boobs. This distracted him into letting me workout for an entire 30 minute workout. And.. it kicked.. my .. butt. I thought I was in shape before. Now I've added resistance. Holy crap!! Not literally. There was no poop this time. I waited until after a poop to workout. :)

Only 2 more weeks left before I go back to work. And.. I'm in a size 16. All my size 16 jeans have holes and were baggy barn pants. Great for the barn. Bad for work. Poop.. I may need some temporary work clothes. Or elastic bands. I vote for elastic bands.. and stretchy things.

23 September 2014

Weigh-in: 187.6 lb lost so far: 3.4 lb still to go: 62.6 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (2 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   losing 0.9 lb a week

16 September 2014

Weigh-in: 188.5 lb lost so far: 2.5 lb still to go: 63.5 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (3 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   gaining 1.3 lb a week

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