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03 August 2015

I seem to have some sort of.. healthy/unhealthy battle going on inside myself. I'm entering the food zen portion of low carb. At least I reach a low carb food zen I don't know about anyone else. Without a bunch of crap food in my system I get mellow. I'm able to handle things better. I'm less emotional about the dumb stuff. All of this equals liquid gold because over the weekend it was me and a 3 yr old and an 11 month old in a giant truck hauling around a huge square bale wagon over hills into the great beyond. I didn't leave a single finger indent on the steering wheel. Then I got to feeling adventurous and we tore apart a garden that was being overrun by weeds. The kids helped.. I didn't hyperventilate. Sure we lost a plant or two but.. well we had fun and I was mellow enough to not panic that the baby was throwing dirt into his hair.. because his brother showed him how.. and dirt in your hair is.. funny? That's what baths are for right? See?? Mellow. I love it. As someone who suffers from anxiety.. alot.. mellow is a stage of bliss.

The only problem is I go from bliss to I WANT A COOKIE!!! Apparently that's the sugar withdrawls talking. It doesn't help that the preteen is gone for another week, hubby is apparently on a diet and apparently when we went shopping last we throught we needed a large number of cookies because we usually do.. I have them all out of sight so out of mind.. until I remember. We have cookies! I want a cookie! Cooooooookie!!! Luckily I have a picture of myself looking like a walrus.. and beets. Yes beets. Don't ask me why but they work. I'm a beet novice so my mother in law took some and pickled them for me.. sweet.. and dirt. That's the taste. Sweet dirt. The after taste is.. dirt. They are clean. They just taste like dirt. Maybe I grew them wrong. I don't know. I get my sweet fix and then have an after taste of dirt that kills any cookie cravings though. So beets.. who knew. Is it a sign I may need a straight jacket to eat something I know will leave the aftertaste of dirt? Maybe. But well.. eh. Too mellow to care. Bring on the beets!

And now.. I nap. Because I'm tired and destroying a garden with ragweed has left me stuffed up with a leaky eye. oooh.. maybe this could be reason for an early exit at work. If I sniffle and leak enough I could go home.. and.. I don't know. But I could do something. Like nap. ooooh nap.

31 July 2015

I have some really strange food triggers. At least I think they are strange because I've never heard anyone talk about food triggers therefore I assume it's my own little deal. For instance Rite Aid. Just walking into the drugstore is a trigger. I think this is a result of the buy one get one free candy bars. I go in grab a perscription and buy one get one free! Free?? Why yes thank you. Only last night I said.. no. nooooo NO and threw hostile looks at the candy display which I'm pretty sure both amused and slightly frightened the 12 yr old clerk behind the counter. But I walked out of there without any candy so.. win!

Tractor supply. I had to go in there to grab pig feed yesterday and what greeted me? A new variety of old timey jelly bean flavors. Oh and old timey candy at the checkout.. oh and giant vats of all things edible and delicious. I blame this on my inability to say no to old timey deliciously odd candies. Like Gooey Clusters or oddly colored stripped coconut pressed into a bar or well candy you just can't find anywhere else. I have to try it.. it could be delicious! Yesterday I didn't. Instead I sniffed my pig feed through the dreaded checkout area of doom. It helped. Sure.. I thought I would never want to eat again and then wondered why the pigs go nuts for the stuff but eh.. I didn't buy old timey candy. The clerk there probably also thinks I'm insane but I see her often enough that she'd already figured that out.

Every day I just say no to candy and processed carbs and carbage (I love that word) the more odd things I'm finding about myself. Like the 8 pm sweets craving. Why? I'm putting the kids to bed and all of a sudden I have the urge to run to the kitchen and make motor boat noises into the remaining half of hubbies birthday cake. I don't.. but I want to. Then I have images in my head of that kid on Matilda that is forced to eat the chocolate cake and I think.. I could totally do that! But I don't. I could but I don't because well.. I want to have a sexy butt.

It helped that my mother decided to put vacation pictures of me on facebook. Why? Just why? Oh and then 2 hours later she figured out how to tag me so they show up in my newsfeed. Just what I wanted. All the competative brats from high school, coworkers, and friends who have seen me looking far worse but still.. seeing me in fat pants with a kid strapped to my back making my front butt look 10 times worse because his little toed tuck into my waist band and force my pants to hang precariously low.. with dirt smeared all over my butt from where I slipped going up the mountain.. in a loving embrace with my sister. Oh and it was blurry so I'm guessing that is why my butt looked so so so.. wide? GAG.. Just GAG. I immediately wanted to close my facebook account, crawl under the nearest thing.. and DIE. Then I realized I have my before picture. Nothing could have made me look worse. Now I'm going to work on my after picture.. and wait a couple days before removing the tag so dear old.. thoughtful and slightly evil mother doesn't get too offended. Seriously though.. why? I didn't post big fat pictures of her all over the internet for everyone to see. Next time I hit a trigger all I have to do is look at facebook. :) And silently hate how I look.. after a long day of hiking.

30 July 2015

Success!! Myfitnesspal is about to have a heart attack because they say I ate too much fat and not enough carbs and my pie chart looks like it was cut by a pie lover but.. success! I stuck with lower carb, ate 1600 calories and didn't feel starved, and I traded my cake/ice cream craving for a handful of cherries. Yes cherries. I said lower carb not no carb. The all carbs are bad people have already talked and ticketed me for saying I'm eating lower carb and yet.. I ate.. gasp.. cherries. Maybe I should call it less complex carbs.. nah lower carb is less of a mouthful. Better yet.. I will say I'm on the bacon diet! Then half the people will tell me how horrible I'm eating and the other half will be silently jealous.

Speaking of diets.. The husband appears to be on one but won't say anything. He seems to be eating less and not going back for seconds but when asked any opinions on what he wants to eat or how much should I make I get grunts and dirty looks. Now my new motivation is to make sure I lose weight right along with the husband.. his butt is already perkier than mine. There is no way he is going to have a flat stomach without me right there next to him. No WAY. I refuse. It's on. Plus that and well.. I miss being small enough that he could pick me up and carry me around like a sack of feed. Right now I think I would break his back. Ok maybe not but it feels that way.

29 July 2015

Today is.. better. The shock of seeing the scale go over 186.5 + adding more protein to my day is doing wonders. I just hope it continues to do wonders when I get home and I'm attacked by tiny humans who smell like candy. Luckily my allergies are acting up so I won't be able to smell them. Plus well.. peanut always smells like graham crackers these days because he's gone nuts for his teething bisquits. Which.. are delicious. Don't judge. I wasn't the one that put them into the food log so obviously I'm not the first mom who partook in the teething bisquit snack.. 20 calories per bisquit really isn't all that bad.. just sayin..

I'm trying to jump back into the lower carb living kinda life. It's the only one that's ever been successful for me. Protein + plants + chasing tiny humans and critters = weightloss. It also helps that I picked my first zucchini from my garden last night. Now all I have to do is get my butt in gear and start packing a lunch and breakfast for work. Turns out when you stop eating right, making your own foods, and fall for convenience eating a tupperware fairy comes and steals anything you may have had to transport food. I don't know where the tupperware went.. but it isn't in my house and if it made it to the barn well.. I dont want it back. Still.. It completely mystifies me.. Where does tuperware go? It's like the sock that is never seen from again.

Tonight I'm figuring out how to cook a pork tenderloin on the grill.. having fresh zucchini.. and avoiding tiny children feeding me. Or rather.. assisting them in finishing whatever they decided they didn't want 2 bites in. Like say.. a teething bisquit. That is why we have dogs. To give me the desire to vacuum every freaking night because they are shedding and eat children droppings. Oh and bark at every freaking noise.. and chase leaves.. and when you yell go get your stick.. they bring back a fence post. Not joking.. Dogs raised in cow poop will bring you a fence post. Sure they will smack you in the shin with it when you refuse to throw the fence post but well.. it was the closest thing resembling a stick that they came to.

29 July 2015

Weigh-in: 187.9 lb lost so far: 3.1 lb still to go: 62.9 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (3 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   gaining 2.0 lb a week

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