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08 October 2014

I figured since today is my first day back and I will be back to waking up and getting ready at a regular time that I should weigh in at this regular routine time... now I kind of wish I hadn't but it is what it is. lol I figure it can only go down from here because I can't raid the cookie jar 24/7.. and I don't have time to eat .. at least I don't have time to eat anything that's warm.

My boss is her usual joyful self. *snort* I'm pretty sure the gym is now on a not any day soon list. Unless I get a new boss. I've already been asked how much of my day I'm going to need to "you know do that thing". When I pointed out that it only takes a few more minutes than a bathroom break she didn't look thrilled. I an only imagine what taking a lunch to go to the gym would do to her. My only saving grace is "that thing" burns about the same amount of calories as going to the gym except no cardio.. or strength building. Maybe after I get into a routine again I can squeeze it in at home during the week and not just the weekends.

Food today is fabulous! It's amazing how much control you can have when there aren't sweets or junk only a few feet away. I'm limited to what I brought with me... because I'm cheap.. and poor now that I have to come up with 240 a week for daycare.

Now I'm going to look at pictures of the kids 101 times and remind me this is for them. Then.. I'm going to brainstorm funny smut. Like suddenly realizing you're about to get lucky and the only reason you're about to get lucky is because you're wearing spanks. Eh.. spanks are too much work. What do you do when you're pants are so tight not even you are sure they can be unbuttoned? "Excuse me while I lay flat on the floor to take my pants off.. oh and do you happen to have a pair of pliers handy? I'm going to need them to get dressed when this is all done."
Weigh-in: 193.2 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 68.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (21 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   gaining 2.8 lb a week

07 October 2014

It's my last day of freedom before I rejoin all the crazies in the cube farm. I don't want to go!!! I want to snuggle with babies and continue to avoid bi-polar bosses who lack in that whole ability to socialize with humans thing. I seriously need to start looking for a new line of work. That whole writing smut from the privacy of my own home is looking better and better. I don't think I could write serious smut though.. is there such a thing as funny smut? Can you put a fart scene into a smutty book??? Now I'm tempted to attempt writing just to put a fart scene in a smutty book to see what happens.

Eating is um.. a disaster. I convinced myself for a short time that apple pie was really a breakfast food because it had.. apples.. and um.. bread type crust.. and well it went well with coffee.

Working out?!?!?! OMG! My body has been taken over. I'm not sure it is my body. I think someone took my body and traded it with someone else. I attempted a plank yesterday.. 30 seconds in I was shaking like a bowl full of jello. Then I collapsed.. and realized I needed to vacuum so that's what I did.

The only good thing about going back to work is I won't be surrounded by food and well.. I get a paycheck. Now I just have to figure out how to workout without a gym.. or time and I will be golden!

05 October 2014

Weigh-in: 192.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 67.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (1 comment) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   gaining 2.6 lb a week

25 September 2014

I've got it! I have the diet of all diets. The lifestyle of all lifestyles. The ultimate of weight loss plans. All you have to do is have multiple children under the age of 3. Squirt screams when the cart stops moving in the store. This creates cardio.. and limits impulse shopping in the cookie aisle. Because well.. you're attempting to get everything you need as quickly as you can and you forget at least 1 thing in each aisle because um.. you're shopping and you only slept 3-5 hours the night before creating memory lapses and you can't stop to think or drool over cookies because he will scream like a howler monkey. An adorably cute howler monkey but I'm his mother and I think he's priceless the other shoppers glaring at me don't seem to share my adorable howler monkey thoughts. They're probably bitter people anyways that's why they're staring aimlessly at packages of cookies.

The toddler? He's all cardio and weight lifting. Because he's jealous and keeps insisting he's the baby. You try lifting up a 30 lb toddler on one hip and an infant in the crook of your other arm. It requires strength.. and balance.. and patience of steel!! But they're a cute little squirt and monster. And Monster has declared Squirt is his. Poor squirt.. He better be as sturdy as his bother or he's in serious trouble. The other thing is Monster is a fast lil bugger! Hense.. cardio. As I run after him.. screaming "Stop that!!" While he laughs.. like a monster.

Only drawbacks is I spent 4 hours running around getting everything we needed for the weekend and I got zero candy! Zero cookies.. Zero caffine?!!?!?! This is going to be one very interesting weekend. I will be the woman passed out on the kitchen floor.. drooling into the empty coffee cup. Crap.

24 September 2014

My workout partner needs to kick it up a notch.. or ten. I've manages to workout 2 days in a row this week despite all the groaning and whining. Granted.. the first day was only for 17 minutes and 56 seconds. It would have been longer but I swear all my partner did was stare at my boobs the entire time I was on the elliptical. 6 minutes in.. he was snoring. No joke.. my boobs put the guy to sleep. Should I be proud of this? Next thing I know there was a giant fart noise that lasted a good minute or two and I panicked.. I jumped off the elliptical and gave up.. because well.. he was strapped to my chest and I've had two other kids before. Poop filled diapers are scary enough as it is. Poop filled diapers strapped to your chest?!?!?! No thanks. I actually broke my ear buds jumping off the elliptical when they got stock on the cup holder. No joke. Poopy diapers are not something to play around with.. now if I could just figure out a way to get them to follow me. I could be a sprinter or win a 5k.

My workout buddy:
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Day 2.. we did better. The partner lasted 8 minutes before he was drooling.. on my boobs. This distracted him into letting me workout for an entire 30 minute workout. And.. it kicked.. my .. butt. I thought I was in shape before. Now I've added resistance. Holy crap!! Not literally. There was no poop this time. I waited until after a poop to workout. :)

Only 2 more weeks left before I go back to work. And.. I'm in a size 16. All my size 16 jeans have holes and were baggy barn pants. Great for the barn. Bad for work. Poop.. I may need some temporary work clothes. Or elastic bands. I vote for elastic bands.. and stretchy things.

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DairyFarmersWife recorded a Weigh In at 192.1 lb.

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66Gypsygirl recorded a Weigh In at 174.0 lb.
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serpentwitchh recorded a Weigh In at 167.6 lb.
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tbbolts823 recorded a Weigh In at 222.5 lb.