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07 February 2017

Today I have to start by saying that FatSecret has the most amazing group of people and most of them are my buddies. Some of them are my new buddies who have no idea what they just signed up for. Most of them did this to themselves voluntarily. Others looked like they knew what they were doing by posting info on their workouts and food and well.. they also had a picture of someone I'm assuming was them as their profile pic who well.. looked like they also knew what they were doing. I should probably apologize to these innocent people that accepted my friend invite... I should.. but I'm not. lol

Today is a much different day. Yesterday I went home, cuddled with the kids, cuddled with my calves, was absolutely amazed when a sick calf that was born two days ago finally stood (still don't know if it will make it but we've been saying it isn't going to make it for 2 days now and he's proving us wrong), I was so happy and grateful to the husband going the extra mile on a bull calf just to make me happy that I proceeded to grab the husbands butt anytime he made the mistake of bending over.. he looked amused for a while then threatened to dump me in the manure spreader, the boys on the other hand thought this was hilarious and are now spanking their father anytime he bends over.

Then.. after the boys were asleep I kicked the butt of any anxiety I was still feeling. Amazing fact.. when on the elliptical blasting music on your earbuds, singing off key in a loud whisper so you don't wake the tiny monsters doesn't allow a lot of energy left to throw a pity party. Heck I even threw in some planks again and found out that my bedroom carpet smells like dog farts and popcorn.. at the same time. It's motivating to not drop in the middle of a minute... I still dropped after 40 seconds on the 3 sets but it was motivating. Oh and.. somewhere I read that planks are all mental. If you make your mind believe it you're supposed to be able to hold out longer. Bull POOP. Unless my mind is in my butt.. that shakes before it sends the message to the rest of my body that it suddenly wants to be up close and personal to the smell of dog fart/popcorn scented carpet.

Today I need a walker... but I'm planning on writing up a new routine to stick with and rotate through for workouts. Maybe if I focus on getting healthier and keep stalking new people on fatsecret.. and keep annoying ya'll.. and finally get back to a comfortable weight where I feel cute... Maybe then the funk will pass once and for all. Any suggestions for an at home workout routine?

06 February 2017

This is going to be a quick and dirty and probably unreadable entry. Not dirty in that way.. get your heads out of the gutter if it went there.

Does it sound odd to feel lonely and out of place when you are literally never alone? Seriously.. I took a shower this morning with 2 tiny humans and a dog on the other side of the curtain. The only time I'm alone I usually have someone calling me to tell me to pick something up on the way home. Still.. I feel lonely, alone,... like I'm my own little island. I don't think I realized how bad this was until someone from way back looked me up and said hi thanks to the glorious wonders of social media.

Maybe it's because they were from way back when I lived in a place I had known for years and was around friends and family. I did things! I went to BBQs.. I went out to lunch with friends. I had time, I had babysitters, I had.. people. Maybe it's because it was a guy who remembered me all this time later and thought.. I should look her up! I'm not positive but I think I can go days without actually talking to my husband. Head nods and exasperated sighs may be needed but I don't think I would actually have to form words. I'm not sure if he would actually notice... We're both so tired, overworked, stressed... the last date we went on was over a year ago and he spent the entire time on his phone or talking about farm bills.

I'm in touchy territory I know. I need something.. I just don't know what that something is. It isn't blasts from the past because those are usually dangerous. I just wish I knew what I needed... Maybe I need a gym membership at the Y with a personal trainer I could use as a therapist and trainer.. If I complain enough they could make me too sore to talk. Everything takes time.. and money.. and babysitters.. *smacking head*

05 February 2017

I think time moves faster at 2 AM. I have decided this because I have been up since 2 AM with a 2 yr old and I have managed to.. have email deleted from my phone. Reinstall email on my phone after finally figuring out the App is names Mail not Email. Dumbest name for an App... Ever. Get my one email account added. Get my other email blocked because I couldn't figure out that I needed to reset the password after they sent the verification code. Made coffee.. and have since realized my coffee is now cold.

The 2 yr old by this time (keep in mind he has been at my feet this entire time) has opened every box of cereal we own by the bottom. Which wouldn't have been a problem if the tops hadn't already been opened. I left him to tape the bottoms back up.. I'm not feeling very positive that they will stay closed. They look very secured though.. I'm kind of thinking carpenter is not in his future job description.

Up until this morning this week has been going pretty good. I've managed to workout for at least 20 minutes 6 days in a row. I managed to eat within my target calorie rate for the last 2 days in a row... lol It's progress. Slow and steady progress. Today I plan on drinking my calorie count in coffee and creamer.

30 January 2017

I found my new fitness routine yesterday. It's called sledding. It's where you walk the kids to the highest hill in the furthest hay field and you attempt to not lose any of them on the way. That part is a little challenging. The tiniest humans seem to want to coast down the hill at an angle instead of walking to the top. It could have something to do with the too big hand me down boots and snowsuit inspired by that movie the Christmas Story.

When you finally get the tiny humans to the top you get to push them down the hill which is quite frankly.. very therapeutic because they have been shooting you in the butt with nerf guns all morning long. Next you grab the tiniest human who is watching everyone as if they have lost their freaking minds and have one of the tiny humans, tiny friend push you down the hill so you can wrangle the ones at the bottom and bring them back to the top. Sure you think you'll die at first but the 2.5 yr old hysterically laughing his head off should calm you down after you're no longer airborne.

And yes.. when you go over the tractor tracks at the bottom of the hill you fear your teeth may shatter.. but thank you're blessings you avoided the brown strip that starts a few yards later.
And yes.. one of the dogs is chasing you the entire time trying to stop you.. I think. Maybe she just wanted to climb on.. or maybe we resembled one of her sticks and she was trying to catch us. Or.. she's bananas and has a death wish. All are possibilities.

The good news is it was 30 minutes of cardio, 35 flights of stairs according to fitbit, and everyone gets to take a nap afterwards. Now I'm going to try to load a picture of the slacker in the snowsuit who demanded someone pull him back up the hill.. for um.. strength training? See? Best workout ever and I didn't pee my pants when I thought I was going to die.

25 January 2017

Yesterday I worked from home because there was white stuff falling from the sky and I live in the middle of no where and I was tired. I realized that when I work from home I don't move very much.. This could be because I was remoting into my computer at work and the house was cold so I had my legs in the boys tiny spiderman sleeping bag... Do bunny hops to the kitchen for more tea count as steps? Plus the teenager was home because school was cancelled so every time she interrupted me with "Mom.. can you buy me, can we go to, I need.. blah blah blah.. " I could say "Maybe if you get me ___ I will think about it." I even convinced the girl to make me chocolate cookies because there wasn't anything sweet in the house. Having a teenager is a marvelous thing.. sometimes. Other times I think slamming my head into a wall would be easier but I think that is true with all tiny adults.

So yes.. yesterday I ate glorious chocolate cookies with hot cocoa because I was craving chocolate. I barely moved because I didn't have to. I refused to go to the outside world and stayed on my farm. It was amazing! I am considering this my get out of jail card. Because lets face it.. when you're busy, stressed, tired, attempting to lose weight, logging everything you eat, trying to be active and fit, and not kill everyone around you. You need a get out of jail card. I think from now on I will give myself one card a month. Yesterday was my day. Today.. is my day to miss yesterday and put on my big girl panties and suck it up and just do it.

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