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14 February 2018

I've got NOTHING. I noticed I hadn't journaled in a while though so I have decided to ramble. I don't recommend reading this. Reading this may be confusing and possibly boring as crap but I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing things that don't start with TO DO at the top.

Ok.. so it's Valentines Day which I don't really like because it's kind of a mandatory Show your love now! day. If I love someone I will tell them and show them on my schedule. Yes I'm totally being a brat about this. I hate feeling obligated to do something. I couldn't even get through the mushy card bit. Then again.. I'm not feeling all warm and squishy so maybe I'm just bitter and old and cranky and jaded. What they really need is show yourself some love day. It should be celebrated with sweat pants, bath balms, a good dinner of whatever you desire, and not require you to do a single darn thing for anyone else. Ooooh I like this idea. I'm turning the day of love into go love yourself and if someone doesn't like it they can go bugger off.

It's also Ash Wednesday... which I don't celebrate but I work with people who celebrate it. Apparently these people cannot have sugar? I'm assuming that is it because they keep complaining they can't eat the cookies in the kitchen which somewhere in my mind registers as MORE FOR ME!! and I go.. and I eat their cookie. I am logging all these cookies so it's not like I'm going wild but I don't think I would be eating the cookies at all if it weren't for people complaining they can't have them. It's like I'm compensating. I hate when I don't think I can eat cookies. All I want is the freaking cookies. So.. I ate the cookie because they can't. If you think about it I am doing the selfless act of ensuring there are less cookies for them to not have. I think... I also didn't make it to the gym so I have to workout tonight or my dinner will consist of a dinner mint.

Did I mention calorie tracking kinda sucks?? All the good foods have an unnatural number of calories. Like cookies! If the cookies were carrots they wouldn't have nearly as many calories. Just sayin.. this could be a conspiracy.

Ok I think I've rambled enough to earn my straight jacket today. Plus the cookies are gone. I only had 2. Someone was obviously was way more selfless than me and ate them all. Also.. I need to thank the HR girl who came by to chat during ice cream sundae time. Yes.. my work has ice cream sundae breaks. It also has a gym... Kinda sending mixed messages here.

26 January 2018

"In order to find yourself you have to lose yourself." by I missed that part but it was someone in a TED talk.

I love this saying! I probably only love it because I feel like I have lost myself and this gives me hope that I can find myself. Now that I've written that it seems weird. What am I, a set of car keys? I did lose the phone in the freezer once so in a twisted way it does kinda make sense that I could lose myself.

Logging food for the 3rd day. Drinking more water because it's casual Friday and I can wear jeans. Came up with a writing idea that I am going to follow through with because I promised the universe that if it gave me another story idea I would get this one written. Yes.. I read a Brene Brown book and now I'm afraid I won't have any more story ideas because the Universe will get pissed off at me and just skip to the next person who wants to write a book.

Did you know that 3 out of 5 people want to write a book? They then follow this with "but it's a lot of work". Like.. yeah everyone WANTS to write a book. Ya'll are just too lazy to follow through. Yes.. I heard that in the car and may have accidently flipped off the driver next to me. I didn't mean him.... I meant the saying. By the time I mouthed no no not you.. and dramatically pointed to my radio he was pulling away as quickly as he could refusing to make any more eye contact. Lesson? Write a book, and prove the people on the radio wrong and stop flipping people who can't see you off. Unless they are your children.. not that I would EVER do that. At least not that I would admit.

Seriously though... kids and teenagers can be a-holes. Like when you work and commute and are away from home for 11-12 hours a day and still have to make dinner, feed chickens, give baths, and read for 20 minutes because the Kindergarten teacher keeps sending home notes about pointing to words and reading for 20 minutes a day like she doesn't believe you are even attempting to get your 5 yr old to read. Which you do but he's 5 and he has no interest and apparently I have the most entertaining ceiling EVER because that's what he looks at when he reads. Wait.. got lost. Anyways.. when you are busy, exhausted, and don't have a minute to yourself so you tell your kid. "No you can't go to that thing tonight because you are doing something every other night and I don't want to add driving you to ten places to my list of things to do tonight." and then they ask 20 times via text and phone with please.. please I will.. but I really want to go. All this happens while you are at work and you finally answer the phone "WHAT!!!!!" only to see your boss walk up to your office and do a very very quick U-turn. Sure it looked really bad snapping at work and yeah I said no.. over and over again and yeah she is literally going somewhere every other night. Somehow I'm still the bad guy and the universe has imploded in dramatic fashion. Not that I would flip off the angry/sad/someone kicked my puppy kinda mopey teenager. There's no proof I did. Wait.. the 3 yr old might have seen it.. I doubt it though. He was too busy opening all the poptarts to use as toys for his toy skid steer.

26 January 2018

Weigh-in: 212.5 lb lost so far: 3.3 lb still to go: 72.5 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (4 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   losing 9.8 lb a week

25 January 2018


Why do they sew the pockets on women's slacks shut? That is if they give the slacks pockets. Sometimes they don't include any pockets. Not that I would notice this when I'm at the store buying pants. Nope. I notice it when I get to work and I have to carry around my debit card, keys, badge, etc. because if I carry my purse I will be asked 100 times "Oh.. are you leaving?" No.. no I'm not. I'm just too disorganized to eat breakfast before I leave home and there is a cafeteria here I fully plan to take advantage of in my pocketless pants I currently hate.

Is this a size thing? Maybe it's a size thing. If I was smaller would I have this issue? Is this a punishment of some sort? Who decided this? Can I smack them?

Also, why do my pants now have 6 ways of fastening? Is this also a size thing? It really really really does not encourage drinking a lot of water. When it takes you 5 minutes to walk to the bathroom, 20 minutes to undo a button, another button, 3 metal claw thingys that reclasp and unclasp in whatever order they feel like, AND a zipper.. it's close. It does throw some excitement into my day especially when I feel like I may sneeze at any moment. Whoever designed this pair of slacks I would also like to smack.

Today I have been contemplating slack designs wondering if this could be motivation to lose weight. If I lose weight will I find slacks that don't make me want to smack someone?? I have also managed to log my food for the 2nd day in a row. That's about it. That's all I'm managing. I would write more but I have to pee again. Wish me luck.

25 January 2018

Weigh-in: 213.9 lb lost so far: 1.9 lb still to go: 73.9 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (2 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   losing 0.1 lb a week

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