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29 September 2016

IT is still convinced my site is porn. Apparently when you talk about the size of your butt too many times you become porn. Not very good porn but porn all the same when it comes to the filter at work. If I wasn't porn I would post more which would probably be bad to point out to the IT guys. lol

Still on the anti Carbage kick. I even fed the pigs my treats that were in the house that I knew no one else would eat... So... Creme brûlée cookies today will turn into bacon... Which I eat without guilt... Makes sense. At least the pigs were happy so that counts for something right? I think I just made a vegetarian faint somewhere.

I got the audio book the gratitude diaries so now I'm also on a gratitude kick because I'm easily distracted and will try anything to try to be happy and at peace despite constantly working and trying to convince the 3 kids that no they shouldn't sit on each other's heads. Basically each night before bed I write 3 things Im thankful for in a journal I keep next to my bed. Great concept! Only problem is I'm always trying to find the bright side of things and I'm pretty sure everyone wants to throat punch me... Example from yesterday "Honey little man broke one of his molers in half and now he basically needs a root canal for a 4 yr old that includes a crown ." "Awe crap... Hey we can tell him he is getting a bionic tooth! He will love that!" Major dental work = bionic teeth. What's not to love right??? My husband may check me into the funny farm soon so if you don't hear from me soon come break me out.

27 September 2016

Today's inspiration is brought to you by a future mud run. Doing a mud run is on my bucket list but I've either never had anyone nuts enough to do it with me or I didn't think I was in good enough shape to not die in the middle of the mud. Well two coworkers just finished one and they are planning on doing it again next year... I eagerly begged them to let me join. I promised not to die.

I now have 360 days to get ready. In other words I have 360 days to drop at least 60 lbs and get into better shape. As in be able to pull myself up a giant wall with the help of very cute firefighters, be able to crawl over round bales, and not die in the belly crawl pit because I suffocated in the mud because a nap sounded sensational half way through the mud run. I'm over half way through my 30s. I think it's time to cross something off my bucket list and the prospects of my husband taking me to Italy or Ireland between now and then are slim. He would just complain the whole trip anyways.. It's his way of communicating his joy of travel. :)

Today in an attempt to get ready I walked with the office speed walkers. My hands got swollen and my ankles officially hate me. Could be the $12 Walmart shoes or the weight or the fact that I'm a midget trying to keep up with normal height woman who zip around the parking lot like no ones business. I thought I was in shape once. Now I wonder.

21 September 2016

Week 2 of the worst experiment ever went um... horribly? By day 2 of the second week I had pretty much over analyzed myself to the point that I couldn't figure out if I was hungry, emotional, or just plain over thinking everything. I should have been a psychiatrist. I can totally picture myself next to a couch somewhere listening to everyone's problems and totally relating. It's probably good I didn't.. In college intro to psychology I diagnosed over half my friends and family with some sort of personality disorder.

Anyways.. the worst experiment ever would probably work wonderfully for someone who didn't work, didn't have kids, didn't live in a society where meals happen at defined times, and never heard of chocolate or ben and jerry's. I'm not that person. I got tired of eating cold eggs because I had to buy breakfast before 9 and I couldn't convince my body I was hungry until 10:15.

It's not all bad though. I got off the experiment. Spent a day or two convincing myself that my body was retarded and went on the low carb high fat road because it's worked every other time in my life that I've managed to stick with it. That is until I get pregnant... then all bets are off. Babies love carbs. In an effort to keep with it I even started an Instagram account so I can post daily little things without having to convince work that Fatsecret isn't a porn site and lets face it.. sometimes posting pictures of your latest thing cooked in butter with bacon wrapped around it is fun. Also, a picture is worth a million and one words.

Tonight's picture/inspiration.. Calf muffin tops. Yes that's a thing. I have them. I'm not lying. When I put on my barn boots the stretchy top that's supposed to snuggly hug your calfs so things don't get in there hugs mine so fiercely that my calves have.. muffin tops. My goal weight is where my calves don't have muffin tops. Ideally I would like them to be so slim and muscular and defined that things get into my boot. I welcome random silage and things. Just so long as I don't get a muffin top and a lovely little defined line where the boots once where for the remainder of the night.. seriously.. who needs more motivation than that??

14 September 2016

12 September 2016

Day 5 of the worst experiment ever was Sunday and it was by far the worst day. I behaved... Badly. This is what happens when you can't listen to your body because tiny humans are louder than your inner voice. Also tiny humans who are boys are apparently starving all the time because they are constantly grazing. This made me graze... The preteen was at a friends and the husband was mowing hay so it was just us gazers. Also bad. We did go help grandma stack wood in her basement instead of taking a nap because no one else would help her. Oh and my stomach did pay me back after our 4 pm late nap because well we were tired and full from grazing all day. Felt like a stuffed cow that couldn't get up and ended up only having a tiny bit of roast I had been cooking and smelling all day long.

Moral of day 5?? Tiny humans trump inner voice. Next weekend will include backup, duct tape, and absolutely no Amish donuts in the house... Or fudge... Or makings for grilled cheese sandwiches.. Or grandmas cookie jar.. Or um any of that other crap I ate.

So far day 6 started off rocky but now is gong swimmingly thanks to laps in the parking lot that turned me into a puddle of gooop

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