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20 January 2015

By next week I will be under 190. Why? Because I've decided I hate the number 190. The number 190 is evil. Stupid number 190. It can go away now. I've seen it enough times now that I'm over it. I'm breaking up with it. I'm demanding my keys back and giving it until Saturday to get its junk out of my pants or its going to the dump. Yup yup. I'm ready to start my new love affair with 180. My goal is to become a number whore that jumps from one number to the next with no regard for hurt feelings or well fitting pants.

The plan?

1. Become obsessive. Weigh myself repeatedly and tell the scale to suck it.
2. Continue to become obsessive by googling fitness inspiration. Then tell every inspirational quote that appears on a model with fake boobies to bite me.
3. Do random squats in my cube to see how many I can achieve a day and still walk. Why? Because there was a podcast on stuff you should know that said squats would keep me mobile in my old age. Why? No clue. Apparently they use lots of muscles and then a toddler stole my phone to play Animals Escape.
4. Attempt to fit into my old pants. Over and over and over again.. until they fit or rip.
5. Make up more stuff as I go until I reach my goal or suffer a mental breakdown.

20 January 2015

Weigh-in: 192.2 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 67.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well

16 January 2015

This morning I decided I would eat lower carb for a while and attempt to shake the sugar addictions hold on me. Lower carb.. not no carb and not no sugar. I need my coffee and my extra extra creamer from dunkin donuts. I didn't know I needed it until about 6 months ago but now that I've discovered it I NEED it. Make sense? Yes? Ok!

So I talked myself into this new commitment. I got an omlette for breakfast instead of the usual fast, cheap, carb loaded, and easy route. I made my coffee and put it in the thermos with a tad less creamer than I would normally use. A tad less being not half the bottle and it's a murky brown now instead of a slight tan. Then.. it happened. Someone put fancy cookies in the breakroom! Fancy cookies! A variety tray of cookies that cost more than they should because they're fancy. And they're in a tray! They aren't even all busted to bits because a child threw them into the cart, a husband didn't help load the cookies into the trunk where he put them on the bottom and a can good got them, no one drop kicked the cookies on the kitchen floor in a giant exaggerated sigh after walking them 20 feet from the car to the house! They're different colors and they don't say OREO on them!! *gasp*

I haven't caved yet. My co-worker is trying to convince me there is nothing wrong with baby weight and I should just eat the freaking cookie so I will stop describing them in detail to her through the cube wall. No one else seems to have discovered the cookies or they are not as amazed by fancy cookies as I am. Seriously.. they were dunked in chocolate then there was more chocolate drizzled on the tops! They're different shapes! Some look like they could contain nuts or something to make bumps. One of them is rolled up like a tube.. then they dunked it in white chocolate.. then they drizzled it with not 1 but 2 types of chocolate. And they're still rolled into tubes! They aren't unrecognizable smashed lumps.

So far I'm sticking to my plan to eating lower carb. Hopefully my loud advertisement of fancy cookies in the breakroom is spreading through the cube farm like wild fire. Or hopefully someone stops by and tells me I'm full of poop and the cookies taste like poop. Or.. I will go with my next plan where I tell myself the cookies came from fancy pants Evelyn. Who apparently only works so she can own 4-inch heels in every shade of color ever made into a shoe.. to go with her fancy new house.. and perfect size 4 designer slacks. Honestly she's a lovely woman but I've decided she's my new enemy. Her hair is perfect, perfect makeup, perfect clothes.. and she does't have spit up on her shoulder. That right there makes her enemy number 1. Before she knows it I will be a size 4 too! That will show her! I'll still probably walk around in a sweater that has become the equivalent of a work place bath robe and I'm still trying to find slippers I can pass off as work shoes... but somehow me getting into better shape will show her. What will it show her? I have no clue. But HAHA I'll win! Suck it Fancy Pants Evelyn!

15 January 2015

Irrational slightly deranged ranting but dang it.. I need to or I'm going for the candy bowl. I will eat the entire freaking bowl too because I will think I deserve it after all this crap. I've been MIA.. again. Still struggling. Still trying to find my groove. I think I know why I'm struggling though. It's no secret that I attempt to do more than should be humanly possible. I work full time, have the 3 kids, help out on the farm, attempt to keep the house standing, barely sleep, shlep the preteen to every practice, game, after school thingymabob,hmm.. this doesn't sound like alot now that I've typed it. Is there more? Maybe I do more and I'm attempting to block it out. Anyways... I'm at my wits end. I did AMAZING yesterday.. until I got home from basketball practice with a screaming 4 month old yelling give me the boob.. a 2.5 yr old yelling chips? Chips? You give me chips? And the preteen?? She decided to immediately pack her lunch. Oh not in the brand spankin new lunchbag I got her. No.. she wanted to use the free one I got for me that has swirly mabobs. Why??? Because it's mine and not hers... and she would lose it... or spill something in it and make it nasty. So I told her no. Go use the one I paid money for that you picked out.. I got attitude the whole night over a freaking lunchbag.

See??? These are the things that are making me nuts. It's the fact that instead of taking the garbage out of the can and putting a new bag in they will shove as much crap as they can into it until it either a. is so full it looks like the leaning tower of garbage b. the bag retreats in dread and becomes submerged under the last foot of garabage or c. becomes so freaking packed that I consider buying a new garbage can because I don't own the jaws of life. Or the dish washer! We have one. It's located right under the microwave so I know they've seen it. So why can't they seem to figure out the dishes go in there? Then it started acting up and it would get stuck in the wash cycle. Just click it one notch I would tell them. Do they?? Nope. They turn the darn thing completely off so the dishes sit in crappy water until I realize what they have done. Just turn it one teeny tiny FREAKING click. And why is the couch a sock disposal!?!?!?! Why is the dog shedding in the middle of winter when it's -4 outside?? Why is everyone's solution to the shedding to throw a towel or a blanket over the hair on the couch before they sit?? AND WHY ARE THE DOGS SUDDENLY SHREDDING EVERY FREAKING BAG OF GARBAGE that does finally make it out of the house?? WHY?? Because no one can remember to shut the back freaking door and they can. That's why!!

I may need sleep.. or prozac.. or a vacation. All I know is I left the house this morning yelling "You better watch it! One of these days I just won't come home! I'll go to a freaking spa!" To which the preteen just gave me a blank stare because hubby was already out to the barn and lets face it.. the 2.5 yr old and the 4 month old well they were too busy seeing who could blow the biggest snot bubble.

*smacking head* Thank you for listening to my rant. I'm going to log the almond joy now.

09 January 2015

Weigh-in: 191.8 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 66.8 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (8 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   losing 1.0 lb a week

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