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24 May 2018

Well.. I have been training for the 5K for... a while? 2 or 3 weeks maybe? I probably should have looked back through my journals before starting this one. Anyways. I'm pretty sure I can finish the 5K 5 minutes over what I finished it last year with zero training while avoiding the rain. I am 15 lbs heavier than I was last year so maybe this is actually good. Either way I'm training, working out, and improving my health so even if I don't beat my time I'm improving and making myself better than I was yesterday. Plus I have all summer long to find more 5Ks to improve my time with. And.. I got a treadmill ordered and it should be here Saturday so I can practice running even if it's dark, or raining, or there are tiny kids making rounds on tractors, or if there was actually a bear instead of just the whole thing in my head where I say if a bear came over the hill you would be food right now. I still have a week and a half before the 5K so maybe I can cut that 5 minutes out. Even if I don't.. I'm still pretending I can run.

Now all I have to do is get control of my eating and I could actually lose weight and get into a shape. Maybe an upside down pear. I would be ok with being an upside down pear.

22 May 2018

I got collagen powder!! It came in the mail last night so I got to try it for the first time this morning. Why?? Well because I listen to a lot of podcasts and they say it will help me recover from workouts, support resilient and flexible joints, support hair growth, reduce wrinkles, give my skin a healthy "glow" and it will do laundry. Ok.. it won't do laundry. I keep waiting for someone other than me to do laundry but it never happens. I'm also hoping that supporting hair growth means mine will look more amazing and stop losing it's color rather than me be becoming Bonzo the Circus Chimp when I decide shaving my legs isn't on my list of priorities that day.. or um.. week. Pfft.. It's not like anyone see's my legs unless I wear shorts so no one really cares but me.

I should do a before pic of face lines to see if it really does make me look more radiant or if I will look just as tired as I always do. Tired and kinda annoyed looked but really I'm just wondering why I thought I had to go to the store knowing that if I go to the store I will buy everything but what I was going to the store for.. like when I got cute travel coffee cups when what I really needed was razors.

The main reason I got it was for joints. Maybe this will improve my snap crackle and pop. I was reminded recently that I did fall off a ladder when I was a teenager onto my knees from at least 10-12 foot up. No breakage just bruised cartilage according to the doctor. Maybe this has something to do with it? Or maybe I'm just overweight, out of shape (technically round is a shape), and musical. That's what I am! I have musical joints.

I figure I will try it until it runs out and then write about it on my blog. I won't bore you guys with the.. Day 1.. opened package unable to find scoop for the 1 scoop serving. Finally found scoop after violently stabbing contents with a butterknife. Product smells AMAZING and has zero taste. Follow up with face pic of face covered in white dust for Day 1 pic.. Post.. Wait for cops to arrive at door.

I probably shouldn't write product reviews.. I would probably get sued.

21 May 2018

Are all doctors scales mean? I'm beginning to think that all doctors scales are set at least 5 lbs higher than my home scale on purpose. It's not just my current scale either. It's every scale I have ever owned. Therefore.. I've decided the doctors office has some secret memo that says "Set your scale at least 5 lbs heavier so the patient's blood pressure will be elevated once you get them to the exam room." As if going to the doctors office didn't suck enough on it's own.

Just when I received additional motivation to go to the gym.. I forgot to pack my gym shoes in my gym bag. Sure I could totally workout on the elliptical in my cute little dress flats but I'm going to pass. Instead I think I might shop for a treadmill while the dairy farmer is insane enough to offer to buy me a treadmill. I suspect the neighbors or one of his friends finally noticed that I'm running like a crazy lady around the pad in the back of the barn. I have noticed that the cars can see me as they come over the hill and a woman attempting to run around an ag bag pad is something I would slow down to watch. Huh.. now I kind of wonder if I'm on Facebook somewhere. I better shop for a treadmill.

18 May 2018

Huh.. I think I might be THAT mom. Or maybe the teacher thought I needed chaperone training wheels. The zoo trip was great. I volunteered to basically watch my own kid. So many parent's volunteered that everyone got 2 kids to watch. I got one. Or maybe I only got my own because my kid's attention span is only 60 seconds so we looked at every animal for about 60 seconds before we ran onto the next one. We would linger with his classmates for about 90 seconds before they were designated as too slow and then he would run onward. The cool thing is they are setting up a dinosaur theme for after memorial day where the dinosaurs will move and shoot water at people. Looks like I know what I'm doing with the kids next month. Nothing better than speed walking a zoo with dinosaurs about to eat you.

Speaking of speed walking. I did a lot of thinking about some of the advice I was given regarding training for the 5K. I really did think about what people said and while I know the advice comes from a good place and some of it may be valid.... I'm kind of a stubborn brat. I think it's a skill someone really strengthens as a farmer. You set your brain on a task and you complete that task no matter how deep the manure gets, how many times you smash your thumb, or how hot you get, or where the hay flies and sticks and itches.., and when everything goes up in disaster.. at least we can stand there with our hands on our hips looking like a hot mess and proudly proclaim... Well that should have worked. Then someone gets a sledgehammer and they make it fit. That is running to me.

My last run I thought about the comment that I need to lose weight before I try running. I'm also a woman so that translated in my head to "You're too freaking fat to run." Because translating things in my head is also a talent of mine. And you know what.. it SUCKED. My time SUCKED. My ability to take the uncomfortable parts and work through them vanished. I almost quit and said screw it. That translated into my head as "Why am I even trying this? I can't do this." and then I ate cake and bought some twizzlers and stopped for sushi after the field trip... you get the idea. Mini binge/implosion. This.. is me. This is what I do. This is me struggling with feeling good enough or worthy enough. It's my own internal little battlefield.

Today? Today I'm swinging a sledgehammer and I'm going to make it work. I joined a running site with a beginners section that basically covers everything I'm going through. It has suggestions with exercises to add, adjusting my stride on hills, etc. My daughter and I have an ongoing joke about being strong like bull. I... am strong like bull. Meaning I don't give up. Plus.. if a 2000 lb bull can run then so can I.

Plus lets face it.. being heavy and out of shape is probably worse for my health in the long run than the possibility of getting some shin splints. And.. I'm pretty sure I'm already screwed by the number of times I have been kicked, had my foot crushed, or any number of other injuries caused by cows. Being unable to run from a bull is more hazardous to my health... Just sayin... Screw discomfort. I'm doing this.

16 May 2018

Ever volunteer for something and then think. Crap. Did I just do that? I volunteered to be a chaperone at little man's kindergarten trip to the zoo. I thought it was one of those things where you just herd the kids in a group. Kinda like herding cows from the field into the pen pack. You flap your arms like an idiot and make random noises and they roll their eyes and then wander in the opposite direction. That should be what a kindergarten trip is like right?? I'm not sure. I was always a single mom and had no choice but work and never managed to do this when the teenager was this age. According to the sheet I got from the school we take them in tiny groups around the zoo. I hope these kids are better behaved than the boys when I take them places. Whenever I take the boys someplace one of them always tries to hide somewhere after they didn't get something or someone said something that hurt their feelings and before we know it someone is lost.... Crap. I hope I don't lose anyone's kid. Crap.. I've never even been to this zoo!! I hope I don't get lost. You watch.. I will be the parent with the group of kids that can't make it back to the bus on time because we took a left instead of a right at the llamas.

All of this dawned on me last night as I was herding chickens back into their coop after they all flew out while I was just trying to fill their water. Now that there isn't 3 foot of snow on the ground that seems to be a thing. They should go back in when it gets dark right? That's what everyone says. When it gets dark or they get scared they go back in. I mentioned this to the dairy farmer when he asked if I was going to catch them and put them back in.... he then gave me that look of are you insane when I told him my plan to come back out when it was dark and just close the door. They aren't cows.... Chickens have enough common sense to find their bed. Right????

Oh and I also wonder if I made a mistake picking the option of driving myself to the zoo. We were given the choice to drive or ride the bus. The teenager said all the Lit parents drive. Which I interpreted as all the baked parents drive and I'm thinking.. well yeah. You can't smoke pot on a bus full of kindergarteners!!! Apparently lit does not mean baked anymore. Now it means Cool. After this 45 minute conversation on getting lit and being baked and what's cool and what's lit with my 14 yr old daughter I was traumatized enough to want to drive myself to the zoo. Plus then I could run errands in the city when it's done. Then I talked to the babysitter and she says she drives because all the clicky moms ride the bus and she's convinced they talk about her. Huh... so now am I the not clicky paranoid mom or the lit mom not baked but lit?? I'm not even sure who the clicky moms are!! I'm the mom that works and is a hot mess and I could care less what you think about me because I don't even know your name. I'm also kinda convinced that I can say screw it because I'm probably never going to see this person again because when I do see them I will have forgotten who they were. Being a mom in a town where the kindergarten class only has 24 kids and one of them is my sister-in-law probably argues with this logic but I'm too tired to care. You're ____'s mom... if you're lucky. You may also be that kid whose kinda short and who smacked his kid on the monkey bars that one time's mom.

I feel like I need a nap now. Volunteering is exhausting and I haven't even done anything yet! I hope I don't get Mackayla. That girl has serious issues and her mom wears a fanny pack. See? Her I remember.. but I still don't care because her kid is a piece of work and she wears a fanny pack. The mom.. not the kid. The mom wears a fanny pack.

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