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10 May 2013

Dear Scale,

Shut up. I know.. I crashed and burned last night. I hid in the kitchen and stuffed my face with ice cream sandwiches. I was tired, the kids were on a sugar high, I feel like i'm getting sick, they were good, nuf said. So shut up. I still had a deficit! At least I'm pretty sure I did. I forgot my lil display thingy and when I charged my arm band this morning it didn't sync. Poop in a puddle. Worst case scenerio I broke even or went a teeny tiny bit over. I did not gain! I refused to gain. I refuse to let you tell me I gained. I'm gonna be twiggy dang it! So stop lookin at me and get over it. I am not going to let you unmotivate me and tell me I failed by giving me some giant ice cream sandwich weight. You're mean.. and you're not my friend anymore. So.. Blah!

You're loving owner,
Dairyfarmerswife

Today my throat hurts, I sound like a stuffed up water hose, and hubby was upset because I ducked out before the morning bye honey I love you kisses. He sounds worse than I do! I texted him I loved him though.. that counts right? It's like a long distance kiss or something. You watch and I will get sick just in time to enjoy the weekend. I have a lunch meeting with the other two girls in the department so hopefully I can steer them towards a place that I can eat at without breaking the bank and my waistline. If I volunteer to drive they don't have a choice right? Crap.. I should have cleared out some of the baby stuff in the back seat. Right now it looks like toys r us threw up in my back seat.

Tonight I will garden, clean my car out, not pass out because I can no longer breath, and fall asleep on a cow. They're so warm and fluffy. Now I just have to convince them not to eat my hair when I'm sleeping on them. I would write more.. but my brain stopped working again. Apparently lack of oxygen does that.
   (13 comments) on diet Atkins  

09 May 2013

This morning lil man decided he wanted part of my bagel. The first piece he nibbled on for a lil bit.. then fed to Bear (the dog) so I gave him another piece of bagel. The second piece I told Bear not to touch so he's sitting there all pathetic looking, eyes bugged out, drool coming out of his mouth. I'm trying to convince little man not to feed Bear. He's waving the bagel in front of Bears face. Yelling Dag Dag Dag. He wants the dog to eat the bagel! We were doing so well.. until little man decided to pet Bear with his bagel. Normally he just smacks him. This time.. nope it's a full on body rub here let me put some butter on your fur rub down. At which point eh.. it's ok to feed Bear the bagel. Now I'm trying to convince the boy to feed the dog and he's running away laughing. *smacks head* They both ran off into the living room and Bear came back licking his chops. Hopefully the bagel was eaten by the dog and wasn't shoved behind the tv stand. Teaching the dog control.. Score! Teaching lil man to listen? FAIL! Maybe I should pull the clicker and tiny treats out to try and train the boy.

I had a -809 calorie deficit yesterday! Not 1000 but it's an all time high. At this rate I should be able to lose 1.5 lbs a week. The sitter is trying the military diet. I googled it. Eh.. NO. It looks like a 800-1000 calorie diet with a scoop of ice cream every night. She lost 6 lbs in 1 week. She sucks. Ok not really.. she's a wonderful sitter but she keeps losing more than me. Therefore.. she sucks.

I only cursed 1 time yesterday when I was at lunch with Thynes but thats only because I was telling her what someone else said. I can't remember who said what though. I need to google brain food or something. The affects of no sleep, trying to figure out toddler logic, and not end up in a corner sucking my thumb is taking its toll.

Today I need to drink more water, get some vitamin C, and try to not get sick. Hubby is sick but he thinks its all the dust he's been sucking on the last couple days doing field work. Lil man's cousin who he goes to daycare with has Broncidis? I spelled that wrong and i'm too lazy to google. Little man isn't eating with his full I'm starving enthusiasm. Growth spurt done.. or getting sick? My throat hurt when I woke up this morning. The sitter told me she is feeling like she's getting sick. UGH! I refuse to let these people infect me. I don't have time to be infected. I'm going to go drink some honey and spray myself down with lysol now.

Oh... and never name a dog Bear. Sure his paws looked massive as a puppy and sure his dad out weighed him by 50 lbs but when you name a dog Bear they end up smaller than you think. Plus.. if you have bears that live around you.. as in real bears. When you yell BEAR! They think you're just yelling for the dog and they ignore you. *smacks head*
   (7 comments) on diet Atkins  

08 May 2013

2nd Journal Entry = Constipation, Babies, Husband's probably going to divorce me, Coconut milk?, my kids a monster. There I summed it up.. so if you risk reading this well then it's your own fault.

Ok little man is just shy of his 1 yr birthday and he's on toddler formula but I wanted to get him switched over to milk to save my pocket book because the kid is a never ending pit. He should be! He's a growing boy. The only problem is even if I do 4 oz forumla to 1 oz milk the kid suddenly has rabbit turds. He will NOT drink juice so prune, grape, or any other kind of juice to balance him out doesn't work. He looks at me like "God woman! This crap is nasty! What are you trying to do to me?!?!" I might be able to get some prunes into him if i put the puree into his cereal but do I seriously want to put prunes in this kid every day?

A neighbor said what about coconut milk? It has good fats, vitamins.. only drawback is its low calorie but the kid eats like it's going out of style. He only wants things he can feed himself. Puree? Ha! That's wall paper paste! I don't think the low calorie would affect him with all the meats, potatoes, veggies, fruits, and grains the kid is packing away every day. It could be a nice thing to add. Heck.. if I get it then it has less sugar is a lil sweeter and I may be able to talk him into giving his cup a chance. Right now he thinks the thing is evil and chucks it 5 feet whenever we try to give it to him.

Problem with being a diary farmers wife is anything milkish that isn't milk is evil and retarded. But milk produces rabbit turds and a kid turning red, and making cave man noises while he hides behind the couch. That can't be good. What am I suppose to do mix the prunes with the milk? Yuck. He would chuck it at my head and hide under the table till I fixed his bottle the right way. He's his fathers son.. none of this stubborness came from me.

So.. I'm going to risk the coconut milk. The nurses said it's perfectly acceptable so long as it isn't the crap from a can and it's organic. Any other ideas for transitioning a kid to dairy? He's had cottage cheese and yogurt. Something about milk equals rabbit turds. And the kid is a wierd eater. Ice cream. NO Juice.. No no no Dog food? Something that came from heaven. Bits of banana, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cooked carrots. Num. shredded beef, chicken, pork yup. Bacon? BACON! It's like putting a half eaten turkey in front of the barn cats.
   (11 comments) on diet Atkins  

08 May 2013

Dear Scale,

You're looking very good right now. I've behaved and done well for 2 days in a row now. I know you would give me a happy number compared to all the damage I did over the weekend but I'm looking for more than a happy number. I'm looking for bells and whistles and streamers being dropped from the ceiling. I want to believe you're broken and replace you with a shiny new scale because the number is too good to be true. I want to do a happy dance that's so happy I risk getting pee squirts. Yup.. When I see you again.. I will probably break you by jumping up and down in excitement. I'm kickin some serious butt here.

Look forward to possibly doing serious damage to your springs..
DairyFarmersWife

Calorie deficit yesterday of -686 calories. It's not 783 and it's not 1000 but it's still progress! And.. I got my veggie garden boxes filled with dirt last night. Now I just have to pop some seeds in those bad boys and I will have veggies right in my own back yard! Yay!! Because I was busy working on the garden boxes I didn't have time for dinner so I made the family some pepperoni rolls and I ate some cereal.. but the pepperoni rolls looked sooooo good. They're huge and gooey and pepperoni.. BUT I managed to only cut off a slice and I stayed around 1300 calories. I did not grab the whole thing and stuff my face so.. I WIN! Haha! I gave myself a treat and I didn't completely crumble into an ice cream pepperoni induced coma. I'm awesome.

I have a total deficit of -1469 in 2 days. Today? I'm going to do amazing. Before you know it I'm going to be skipping up and down the hallways. Ok maybe not.. that would probably give me the pee squirts.

I did curse yesterday.. there was construction at the grocery store and a cart boy decided he was talented enough to direct traffic.. he wasn't. You could tell he thought he was with all the really enthusiastic hand signals. Traffic would have been better if he would have just gone and got the darn carts! Also.. bowing to each car as it passed him.. a bit confusing and not nearly as entertaining as he thought it was. I cursed. I owed $1 for cursing. The good news is it wasn't $10 worth of cursing. It could have been if I hadn't caught myself and started using some creative names for the cart boy.
   (10 comments) on diet Atkins  

07 May 2013

Dear Scale,

I'm going back to basics and I'm going to be twiggy the next time I see you. HA! Suck it! I saw you lookin at me again. Between you and the red weigh in thing on fatsecret I'm becoming a stubborn 3 yr old. I don't wanna weigh in! Mostly because I'm afraid I went up. Normally I would dread weighing in and put it off. Now? Well now I'm being true to my word which supports my denial so ha! I don't even want to see you!

I'm wearing my bodymedia again. I know.. it's summer. People can see it now. I keep getting asked if I'm OK. I am. I need to come up with a good explaination though. If I say heartrate monitor people start measuring my desk at work because I'm obviously about the kick the bucket. If I say it tracks my calories I get eye rolls. But do I care? I'm still trying to decide. Eh.. I went to work last week with leg stubble. After a lack of sleep, two kids, a farm and a full time job you have that defining moment when you think. Huh.. Well maybe no one will notice I have a lil stubble. It's not like I'm rubbing up against anyone! Yup.. defining moment right there. This time last year I would have died before I left the house with a 5 o'clock shadow. Well wait.. I was 9 months pregnant.. I couldn't reach my legs then. Ok 2 years ago.

I did amazing on the calories despite the cookies in the breakroom. I don't even know what they are.. but they look amazing. I bought skinny cow ice cream sandwiches and I didn't touch them. I will only touch them when they fit in my calorie range. I will be twiggy. I will piss off the other women in my life trying to lose weight. I will shock and amaze my family when they see me. I will be 130 by the end of summer. I will not act like a kid in a candy shop with the chocolate chips meant for baking. I am a strong chicky who will show some form of self control. So scale you can go suck it! I will obsess again about you when I think my pants are loose.

Sincerly yours,
Dairyfarmerswife

Yesterday was a calorie deficit of -783. Not the -1000 I'm shooting for but close!
   (13 comments) on diet Atkins  

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