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05 June 2017

Ok it's not a secret and anyone who reads my stuff on here knows I'm slightly obsessive over all things losing weight. I subscribe to fitness blogs, have 10 different apps on my phone, read diet and exercise books, listen to fitness podcasts.. Basically if I obsess then I seem to make progress because I'm too busy obsessing about the macros of a cake to eat the cake.. Ok it doesn't always work with cake but sometimes it does.

In hopes of seeing a weight loss before mid July I'm obsessing. Counting every calorie, workout, oz of water.. and reading everything I can get my hands on. Like the fitnesspal emails on diet and exercise. And then I come across advice that makes me want chuck sporks at someones head and scream WHY?!!?!?!?! because they look like they might be 100 lbs sopping wet.. are probably 12 yrs old.. and should not be giving advice on "Unusual ways to avoid cravings." Seriously... unless you have considered shoving your entire face into a chocolate cake or a pizza then you do not understand cravings.

Tip 1.. Breath: If I breath.. and the craving is right there in front of me. I will smell it. Making me want to have it even more. A more reasonable tip would be hold your breath until you pass out. By the time you wake up you will probably no longer want the craving because your head will hurt where you hit it when you fell.

Tip 2.. Think Logically: If I could think logically would I seriously be considering shoving my entire face into a cake? No. Obviously thinking logically is not a strong skill. Think illogically. Pretend the smelly guy in the office made the cake.. or the kids helped you and didn't wash their hands.. and they just came from the barn. That might help. MAYBE.

Tip 3.. Play a game: Because playing tetris and getting aggravated that the darn bits won't go to where they are supposed to be is going to relax me and no longer crave cake.. or I will chuck my phone so I can use both hands to eat the freakin cake.

Tip 4.. Time your meals strategically: Uhh yeah.. I did that. And then I had a craving and everything went to heck in a handbasket. What does strategic meal plans have to do with wanting to shove an entire candy bar in my mouth at once. I'm not hungry.. it's a craving for petes sake.

Tip 5.. Create nutrition audibles Like a quarterback in a game have an alternative plan when the original plan fails. How does the title of this tip have anything to do with plans? Audible.. audio.. is a plan? This is just too dumb for words. Lets call it.. have an alternative plan. Which would be GREAT. If I was organized and had a plan in the first place.

Tip 6.. Eat the craving daily... WTF?? Seriously W T F?? That's what got me into this situation in the first place!!!!


I got better advice from my bottle of kombucha this morning. "When setting goals, count any movement towards it as a measure of success; even the smallest step." Jonna Templar

30 May 2017

As of today I have 50 days until I see people I haven't seen in over 6 years and possibly meet someone I have never met in person but have talked to alot. I would like to be at the most 180 when I see them. This seems possible right? For normal people who diet and exercise this seems possible. That's 15 lbs in 50 days. That's just a little over 2 lbs a week. Granted.. I haven't been able to lose 1 lb a week but I have motivation. It's called a hotel with a swim pool and me in a swimsuit possibly in front of people who have not seen me in a swim suit either in 6 years or well.. ever. This is if I get the job and they don't mind me taking a week's vacation right after I start. The HR rep did ask about any summer vacation plans and I did tell her I already had this week planned. I figured it couldn't hurt to mention it just in case. Otherwise vacation is accrued as time goes on and I wouldn't get a vacation at all this year. Granted I could change my plans but then I wouldn't have motivation to lose 15 lbs in 50 days. Makes sense right?

Still no news on if I got the job but the interview seemed to go well. 4 people pointed at my resume and said "We need this here." I don't know if they meant they were short on paper or they liked the work that I'm currently doing at my current job. I'd like to think they meant my skills and knowledge but who can really tell?

Sorry I have been MIA lately. Between a crazy work schedule, stress of an interview, my little man turning 5, me feeling older, eating cake, and thinking.. it has to have butter in it.. that's HF.. just not LC. I have been about ready skip around like my 2 yr old because it seems fun and I need some fun. Writing when all you want to do is stick your head between your knees and hyperventilate isn't something I do. I watch 2 yr olds and wonder.. Can I get away with that and not be locked up in the nut farm?? Maybe if I skip walk people will just think I spiked my coffee.

24 May 2017

Everyone repeat after me.. maybe if we chant this I will listen to it and not do it. "I will not stress eat. I will not hyperventilate. I will not crawl under my desk and suck my thumb.. or crawl under my desk with a bag of Fritos. I will not stress eat." Ok I will probably hyperventilate. That part might be inevitable.

A couple weeks ago I ran into one of the upper management guys at my old company. He asked me if I would come back for a senior position. At first I said no. I'm happy where I am. Then my current job imploded. I still have a job. I have 4 actually. I am expected to do 4 jobs, make other people "look good" for the sake of making them look good, I'm supposed to do my original job, and become a narrator, and then... The person I'm supposed to make "look good" came into my office and demanded I say something I didn't believe was true. Literally stood in my desk and yelled and repeated what she wanted me to say. I just sat there and watched her. I'm sorry.. I'm a minion but I'm not a puppet. I submitted my resume to the old company the next day.

The good news is.. they called me within a day and did a phone interview and then set up a 4 hour onsite interview a week later. Looking good so far right?

This morning she sent me the itinerary. I'm meeting with 5 people for about 45 minutes each. I know all of them already. I've already worked with them and I know I've impressed all but 1 of them. That 1 person being my previous boss who supposedly retired. Apparently she is retiring. Not retired. Retiring. Do you think she still hates me for that day that I quit while she was in the middle of her European vacation and then the next day the only other writer quit too? Or do you think she still hates me for calling her the worst manager in the history of managers in my exit interview?

Tomorrow should be very very interesting. If you never hear from me again then the manager killed me and stuffed my body into the recycling bin. All I can do is keep telling myself that if I get this job the increase in pay that should go with it will get me that much closer to other things I want in life. Like a cabin in the middle of no where away from people who want to kill me.

22 May 2017

Weigh-in: 194.7 lb lost so far: 21.1 lb still to go: 54.7 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (3 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   losing 4.1 lb a week

17 May 2017

Weigh-in: 197.6 lb lost so far: 18.2 lb still to go: 57.6 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   steady weight

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