showing entries 1 to 5 of 695
Page:   1   2   3   4   5 ...  Next

19 September 2017

I got a new toy today. No not that.. wait.. maybe only my mind went in that direction. See what happens when you go to the gym and listen to smutty audiobooks? It's dangerous but someone has to do it. It does pass the time quite nicely if anyone is looking for a distraction in the gym.

I got an App called Carb Manager. It tracks my carbs, my daily nutritional info, water, connects to my fitbit, and it's a new toy so it makes logging my food somewhat less painful because I'm pretty much a child with a limited attention span and I need new ways to track my fitness and crap. I did the free version for a bit.. then switched over to premium. So far it's worth the $5 a month.. or something like that. It was a little more than a coffee at the cafeteria. I've forgotten how much though because I had the coffee and bought the App. It's pretty nifty if anyone wants to check it out.. and track things in 10 places like I do because I lack the ability to commit to a fitness app. I'm a fitness app floozy. There. I admitted it and I'm not ashamed.

I also checked out the personal trainer at the gym today. Granted he has been there for forever and he helped one of those nationally known look at them now people who lost an insane amount of weight and ended up on some random today show, people, slate.. I can't remember. All I know is he trained the guy and he lost a lot of weight then got enough media attention to have his skin removal surgery paid for. Should I pay for a trainer? Maybe this can be my reward at some point. If I get down to blank amount of weight and when I'm ready to get my buff on.. I will hire the personal trainer who looks like a very distant cousin of the Rock. Very distant.. I think the shaved head and muscles may be their only common traits.

Note to self... do not check out trainers when listening to smutty audiobooks while working out. Results may be hazardous to ones wallet. Just sayin..

15 September 2017

I wonder what would happen if you took everyone's advice on health and fitness at the same time.... For instance. If I drink a gallon of water, walk 10,000 steps a day, exercise 3-5 times a week, meditate or do some sort of stress relief, sleep at least 7 hours a night, and have good sex (I actually found this one on WebMD!) will I become super woman if I do all of these things or just pee a lot and complain everything hurts?

The only one of these I can't do is have good sex... that's all part of the whole telling your husband you want a divorce thing.. Hmm.. I could substitute sex with writing smut and hoping I finish a book that is as big a hit as 50 shades.. just sayin.. not that it probably has the same health benefits as sex but it's an idea.

I wondered about this so much that I decided to start doing these things today. Ok.. I decided to try doing these things today. It's almost 5pm and I only have 5299 steps. I've only drank 72 ounces of water. I haven't meditated. And I haven't found any studly looking men offering to give me inspiration for a smutty book. Still... It's an idea and something I have decided to attempt. So when you see that woman running for the bathroom counting steps out loud. That's me.

29 August 2017

I survived day 1 of this crazy idea that I of all people can follow a plan. Do you have any clue how many times I have said.. today is the day! Well I did that AGAIN yesterday and I survived. I did not eat the twizzlers. I did inhale the smell of the twizzlers. I was totally a twizzler sniffer. I did not eat them though. Sure my kids now all think I've gone insane but lets face it they probably thought that before the twizzler sniffing.

In other news... I have pumpkin snack cakes in my desk. I forgot I had pumpkin snack cakes in my drawer. I ran to the store on Friday over lunch after having to skip breakfast to pick up lunch and a couple things. I get to the store where I get a call from someone who is upset and sad and I live 700 miles away and I'm not able to do much of anything other than keep chanting.. It will be ok. It will work out. Good things will happen. Meanwhile.. I'm chucking chips, snack cakes, candy, Chinese food from the deli, .. and I forgot what else into the cart. Because even though I hope it will all work out. I can't be sure it will and if it doesn't then it's going to be very sad for everyone. Fast forward to this morning. Guess who found pumpkin snack cakes? Everything else I had taken home Friday night but those were mine. All pumpkin bliss and creamy sugary goodness mine. They are still.... mine. They are in my drawer laughing at me. I am laughing back because I have not yet given into them. I did mark yesterday on the calendar with a big ol green checkmark, way to go sticker, and glitter. Ok no I didn't use glitter glitter. I should have though. Unfortunately when I asked the admin for glitter she gave me a weird.. REALLY?? look. Do managers not get glitter rights? WTF???

Today will be another big old green checkmark that I am following advice I got from a book. I am working out. I am eating right. I am not eating forgotten snack cakes. I am drinking an obscene amount of water and speed walking myself to the bathroom every 10 minutes. Because I.... am going to get my body back even if I have to become a crazy green glitter making calendar marking weirdo.

28 August 2017

I want candy. I want big giant bowls of everything candy, cake, dessert, and .. sweet things. I want everything that is sweet. Do you know what is a horrible terrible idea? It starts when a wonderful person sends you a dieting book to read, then the advice makes sense, you've followed this advice before with wonderful results, and then.. you declare that tomorrow is going to be the day that you start this amazing journey into healthy living, slimmer jeans, more energy, and hopefully will end in me having the body I had before the tiny humans I gave birth to came along with all their twizzlers, oreos, and ice cream. Yes.. they came with these things. They must have because every time I turn around one of them has these things even though I don't remember ever putting these things into the shopping cart.

Do you know what makes this an even more awesome horrible terrible idea? It's the week that I REALLY crave these things. I mean really really crave. It's the type of craving that would make me take a bite of the toddlers twizzler after asking him "What's that??" and he turns his head only to look back and yell "HEY!!" because half his twizzler magically disappeared. Those things happen. We may have pixies.. or something living in the house. No one can prove how these things happen.

So here I am... diving into the deep end of look at my healthy lifestyle. See all the fabulous things I won't eat because I love myself and all that other motivational healthy crap! Ok.. I'm only... 16.5 hours into this new dedication to my new healthy living blah blah blah. I would just like to say.. for the record. I want candy. I will not eat candy. I will not eat candy. Ok.. I might. I've tried and failed a million times before. That being said. I want candy but I will not have candy. Even if the candy belongs to a toddler and does not really count because it's in his hand and not mine and my hands never touch the candy. It was the pixies.

22 August 2017

I've got nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm too tired to have anything. Do you know what rock bottom looks like? It involves a bed with pillows thrown everywhere, a tiny happy not in the least bit tired human, bob the builder, and a Benadryl drugged mom who keeps whining "just go to bed" in between the giant marshmallows the tiny human is feeding her. I was weak. It was 1:30 AM. He was adorably cute and excited because Yes He Can!! Momma? Not so much. This was the second night in a row this child has refused sleep. I seriously don't know how he does it. Sooo much energy. Sooo happy. Maybe he isn't human.... maybe he's a gremlin.

Me? I'm exhausted and I eat when I'm exhausted. I'm attempting to be good and not run sobbing towards the vending machines. I skipped the gym. I've had coffee. I think I'm immune to coffee at this point.. I also fear I have marshmallow in my hair still. The only good part so far is my shoes match.

I will be strong. I will be healthy. I will be drooling on my desk in the next ten minutes.

Other Related Links

Members



DairyFarmersWife's weight history


DairyFarmersWife's Recent Activity

DairyFarmersWife's Own Activity

DairyFarmersWife recorded a Journal Entry.
DairyFarmersWife recorded a Journal Entry.
DairyFarmersWife recorded a Journal Entry.
DairyFarmersWife recorded a Journal Entry.

Following

ApacheTiger37 updated their Food Diary.
mickfan1 supported Britt1975's Journal Entry.
Elizabeth_V commented on rosio19's Journal Entry.

Other Member Diet Recent Activity

vh89 recorded a Weight Entry at 155.2 lb.
Diea recorded a Journal Entry.
NanaKP commented on Judyrose1997's Journal Entry.
lynnmead1963 recorded a Journal Entry and a Weight Entry at 152.4 lb.
fatsceretjk7 recorded a Weight Entry at 242.0 lb.
chal1 recorded a Weight Entry at 127.2 lb.
ApacheTiger37 updated their Food Diary.
Sally Forest recorded a Journal Entry.