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20 January 2017

I'm beginning to think my Fitbit has something against me. I'm not positive but I don't think it likes me. First it patronized me and my goals and asked if I would like to reevaluate my daily goals. I thought it was attempting to be friendly and helpful so I said sure. It suggested I reduce my daily goal of 10,000 steps to 8,500 because I can only seem to average 7,000. It also suggested I may want to adjust my goal weight because I don't seem to be losing any weight. I glared at it for a while but decided to move on. Give me a goal of 8,500 and I'll get my 10,000. Which I did.. that day.

Today I noticed that the pessimistic bit of plastic isn't acknowledging my workouts. I set a goal to workout 5 days a week. I've worked out three times this week and it only registered one. I'm only one little tiny colored octagon side. Pfft. Maybe it doesn't think I'm working out hard enough. My elliptical, sweaty shirt, and sore legs disagree.

So like I said.. I'm not positive. But I think my relationship with my fitbit is on the rocks. Maybe I should attach it to one of the tiny humans and see what it thinks of that. Then again one of the tiny humans would probably decide to dunk it in the toilet. I already spent a half hour this morning explaining that if we wash the toy skid steer with toothpaste in the sink it will no longer make noises.

19 January 2017

You would think that feeling big, unattractive, frumpy, and kind of like a clump of manure mixed with hay on the bottom of a barn boot would motivate me. It didn't though.. it made me crave a cheeseburger. It didn't matter how many times I imagined being a lump of poop I still wanted the cheeseburger. Still.. I'm losing weight cheeseburger or no cheeseburger so that's good right?

It all started this morning when I looked at my closet and decided I didn't like anything in it because I had worn everything in rapid repeat week after week because I refuse to buy any new work clothes that I am determined will not fit in the future. So I decided to go kinda casual and picked a nice t-shirt. My boss is out and I'm going to be stuck in my office trying to read foreign languages that I can't read so why not?

The "why not" is that t-shirts and slacks hate one another. The shirt rides up on the silky material and before you know it you've got that front butt/momma pouch/yup.. that girl had kids peaking out anytime you have to pee.. or get more coffee.. or go to the copier.. or walk past the training room full of customers you had no clue where going to be at work for training and they're all from other countries and dressed in suits and you really want to talk to the people with the amazing accents because accents are amazing but you can't because you're in a t-shirt and slacks and your front butt is out. So poop.. But oh wait it gets better!

The new tiny pit bull the company hired to maximize revenue opportunities is there too. She's I think.. 75 lbs, 4 foot something, and the personality of.. not that I have anything against pitbulls but you get the idea. So she gave me the look up, look down, you fat pig look. At least that's the way I interpreted it. She does tend to look at everyone and seem to size them up to see if you are of use to her then if you're not she immediately dismisses you. I've been dismissed several times. Once she introduced herself and realized I didn't do anything she could use so she never talked to me again, wont even say hi in the hallway. Another time she realized I wasn't the executive secretary in Germany who could get her a car and she was stranded at a train station... Just sayin.

I seem to be ranting in super big paragraphs so one more thing.. an old friend got in contact with me on facebook today and asked me how I was doing. After this kind of day I instantly thought.. well about 60 lbs heavier since you knew me but otherwise good. I thought it. I did not say it. I am apparently having an I feel fat day.

I'm going to go gnaw aggressively on carrots now. Please excuse my ranting long paragraphs about things that probably only made sense in my head.
Weigh-in: 212.3 lb lost so far: 3.5 lb still to go: 62.3 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (13 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   losing 3.5 lb a week

18 January 2017

The plague has stuck. Yesterday I felt like roadkill and kept having light headed spells so I skipped working out. Today the sitter is out sick with a stomach bug so I'm "working from home" with the boys. So far we have emailed a lot of co-workers, called a younger kid-less co-worker and treated him to the Mom, Mom, Mommy, Momma song because the second I'm on the phone they have got to talk to me. Now. Oh and then the tiniest human saw daddy on the skid steer and attempted to crawl out the window with no pants.. or shoes... or jacket.

"Yes of course. I will have that to you by the end of the day. Don't you worry.. NOOOOO NO NO NO Get your little tiny naked butt back in this house and stop crawling out the windows. Son of a freakin bisquit. Oh no.. sorry not you. No you can crawl out the window naked if you want but I don't think the windows in the office open.. something about jumpers, safety.. blah blah blah naked men crawling out windows. The usual. I better get back to work."

Eating so far is better than at the office. I have to get up every 5 minutes to get someone something or their life could end, and I get to milk cows tonight so my husband can go to the outside. Why he wants to leave our lovely, peaceful farm and children is beyond me but yaknow. At least I will be maxing out my 10,000 steps and squatting almost a hundred times tonight.

17 January 2017

Yesterday I started logging my food again. I've decided I dislike logging my food. Sure it's kind of tedious logging every bite I put into my pie hole but the most disliked part of the whole thing is all those bites add up to a number larger than it should be. I mean seriously.. why is loaded chicken casserole 1000 calories for what is in reality a single serving not 2 like the recipe suggested? Hmph.. apparently I should look at calories before taking the first bite and then deciding it's worth it. *drool* I still avoided candy though so yay for me and my calories in were still lower than what I burned. Sure it was only a deficit of 272 calories but a deficit is a deficit.

It also helped that I spent 45 minutes on the elliptical last night while the monsters took over my bed and my cell phone. Sure I sobbed "give mommy back her ear buds and her cell phone.. PLEASE!!!!!" Because well.. I was trapped on the elliptical, in my room, watching TrollHunter for the 168th time. Plus there was a good audiobook on my phone.. and music.. and if that failed I could have distracted myself with countless workout minutes watching funny videos. But no.. I was trapped with Trollhunter and the lovely tunes of a Lego Duplo game on my phone that I downloaded in cases of emergency. Then they giggled and made a fort out of my bed while eating cheezits in the center of my bed. Do you think you burn the same amount of calories on the elliptical if you keep smacking your head on the control panel? Just curious for no apparent reason.

16 January 2017

It may not be a great day but any day that makes progress is a good day. The scale was friendly this morning but I'm only logging on Wednesdays. I have a hope and dream that some day I will only weigh in once a week but the scale was yelling for me after yesterdays slip up. So after I removed the kid that was using the scale as a seat... I weighed in. Maybe it was compressed by the tiny butt that sat there the entire time I took my shower. Which really was better than the other tiny butt that randomly yanked the shower curtain back to ask me what I was doing and demanded to go to grandmas today. I suggested that grandmas don't get up before 6 like normal human beings but the scowl suggested he thought I was a big fat liar pants.

Today is going to be a good day. I've packed fruit for the sweet tooth, only had 1 cup of coffee despite only getting 5 hours and 46 minutes of sleep, plan to go walking at lunchtime, and it's a holiday so the kids are home eating every sugar made crap food in the house. By the time I get home I expect to find us almost completely out of food and every room trashed. Seriously.. it's like they were raised in a barn or something. Oh wait! They were!! *face plant*

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