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13 November 2012

10 November 2012

07 November 2012

I've never written a journal entry on my previous accounts on any website, Fatsecret in particular. I'm typing this entry to document my feelings of utter sadness and disappointment. I've battled with my weight since birth and I've never reached a normal weight on a healthy basis. I've battled with a non-clinically specified eating disorder and major insecurity issues.

At this strenuous time of my life, I'm forced to take action. Being a college student, I'm prone to nervous breakdowns and feeling like a wall is constantly closing in on my life (note the drama). It seems as though I'm losing control in every decision I'm forced to make and I am out of outlets. I'm rejoining Fatsecret tonight not only to lose some weight and regain at least a parcel of confidence. I've decided to reembark on the journey to a healthier lifestyle where I actually have energy throughout the day to study, relax, and to just let go of everything stress related.

I'm making a commitment not only to myself but to God. Throughout these past couple of months, I've just been a whirlwind of confusion on my ethical beliefs. I need structure in my life. I feel as though I don't even know myself anymore. I need something or someone to give me that little push I need. Feeling sorry for myself is just not going to cut it anymore. I need to work hard for something for once in my life. I'm ready to let go and let God.

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