I am thinking of what my positive for the day is, and I wonder, how did I get into the situation I am in? Food is an addiction for me. It is my drug of choice. Question is, how did it become my choice? Well I thought about it and all the things I have been through all my life. I also am a fast eater and I just sit and wonder how I ended up with this kind of relationship with food. Part of the process is understanding why we do the things we do and understand how our choices were formed.
When I was a little girl, my mom was very abusive. If I did something wrong, my mom used food against me. There were many nights I went to bed without dinner. Maybe 4 or 5 nights. I was a curious little girl and a child my mother has told me to this day she didn't want back then. She was young and did not know how to, not only raise a child but didn't have support or help from her mom. (and the cycle begins.) She used food as a punishment and I think one of the things I do as an adult, is punish my body with food now because I have learned that my food can be taken from me at any time. Funny, I buy food as a way to cope but also I buy food before bills get paid just because I don't ever want to go without. So how do I get control of my food addiction? It's not like a real drug and I can just give it up.......I need to learn to get a better relationship with food and I think my positive for today is knowing I can write in my journal and on the boards and not get criticism, judged, or unfriended because of what I put on paper(computer).
We can do this if we take it day by day and step by step~