Group Forum: My food relationship

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tina10915

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 102

        
Posted: 18 Feb 2013, 14:38
I am thinking of what my positive for the day is, and I wonder, how did I get into the situation I am in? Food is an addiction for me. It is my drug of choice. Question is, how did it become my choice? Well I thought about it and all the things I have been through all my life. I also am a fast eater and I just sit and wonder how I ended up with this kind of relationship with food. Part of the process is understanding why we do the things we do and understand how our choices were formed.
When I was a little girl, my mom was very abusive. If I did something wrong, my mom used food against me. There were many nights I went to bed without dinner. Maybe 4 or 5 nights. I was a curious little girl and a child my mother has told me to this day she didn't want back then. She was young and did not know how to, not only raise a child but didn't have support or help from her mom. (and the cycle begins.) She used food as a punishment and I think one of the things I do as an adult, is punish my body with food now because I have learned that my food can be taken from me at any time. Funny, I buy food as a way to cope but also I buy food before bills get paid just because I don't ever want to go without. So how do I get control of my food addiction? It's not like a real drug and I can just give it up.......I need to learn to get a better relationship with food and I think my positive for today is knowing I can write in my journal and on the boards and not get criticism, judged, or unfriended because of what I put on paper(computer).
Tina

We can do this if we take it day by day and step by step~
mackie_purpl...

Joined: Apr 08
Posts: 36

        
Posted: 25 Feb 2013, 09:25
I totally agree with you on using "food as my drug." Learning to eat only when I am hungry is a constant battle for me. I can find a million reasons other than "I am actually hungry" to eat. Wishing you all the best on your journey to healthy.
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RoundIsAShap...

Joined: Nov 12
Posts: 84

        
Posted: 25 Feb 2013, 20:10
I was fortunate that I didn't learn that I had to eat whenever I could while I was growing up. What I did learn was that I had to clean my plate and not "waste food". Even if I'm so stuffed I can barely swallow I'll still keep eating until my plate is clean.

I have such a hard time breaking that habit! We were at A&W this weekend on our "cheat day" and I was stuffed but still working on the burger I had. I finally realized what I was doing and gave myself permission to toss the 1/4 of it that was left.

I'll admit that I usually don't realize until it is too late I am an adult now and get to choose when I'm done eating. Those habits formed in childhood are so automatic that even realizing you are in the middle of acting on them is hard!