Group Forum: Good versus Bad

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tina10915

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 102

        
Posted: 19 Feb 2013, 17:10
How many of you with children have made the comment, "She/He is such a good baby." How many have made the comment, "I was good today in my diet", or "I wasn't very good this weekend?" I hear and make this comment all the time about my diet experiences but most importantly I need to know what it means.
I personally hate when parents say, she/he is such a good baby because.......(fill in the blank.) Babies are not bad because they cry during the night or it takes them a little longer than we expect to sleep through the night. Babies are not bad because they don't do what we think they should be doing. That brings me to my next comment. Why are we bad because we went a little overboard when we went to the movies or that dinner party. Why do we think we are "bad" because we didn't follow through with our "diet" for one, two or even 6 days? We are not bad people. We are good people just trying to make things better in our lives. When you are talking about your next eating venture, try to skip the words bad, cheat, and diet and try to look at anything positive that happened for the day. We are harder on ourselves when we use these words and it makes it more difficult to gain control of our eating and positive thinking.
Tina

We can do this if we take it day by day and step by step~
RoundIsAShap...

Joined: Nov 12
Posts: 84

        
Posted: 20 Feb 2013, 22:08
I agree that it is too easy to beat ourselves up over missteps. When you feel like you failed it is easy to feel that you can't succeed.

I suspect that a big culprit is feeling like it has to be all or nothing. Either you follow your diet perfectly every day or you are a failure at dieting and might as well give up. Of course, that's nonsense.

Instead I think you need to accept that perfection is a myth and trying your hardest is the best you can do. If you wander away from your diet goals, you need to try to get back on track and not criticize yourself. What has happened... has happened... and feeling sorry for yourself or depressed about it is the opposite of helpful.

Last week I wasn't perfect. I made some good choices, some bad choices and a few times I had no real reasonable choice that I could make. I gained seven pounds.

I could say, "I failed" but I know that isn't true. I could have made much worse choices. I'm not going to even worry about that. Instead I'm concentrating on the positives.

During the flight down I was able to lower the fold-out tray all the way down... I couldn't do that last May. I didn't need a seatbelt extension during any flight in either direction. I walked about 10 miles in a hilly area burning almost 10,000 calories and improving my health and metabolism. Most breakfasts were right on track. During several meals I managed portion sizes well or at least better than I would have in the past. I enjoyed my visit to Georgia and sampled some southern foods I've never had before.

Yes, I did gain seven pounds. But that is temporary. In fact I expect that much of that weight was water weight due to diet and time on an airplane (not to mention the stresses involved with air travel.)

In the end, I feel that the positives from the week far outweigh the negatives. I'll remember it as a interesting week with several victories and not as "the week I gained 7 lbs."
lilgeorge327...

Joined: Apr 10
Posts: 48

        
Posted: 22 Feb 2013, 23:59
I really hate the term "diet" and "dieting." While some of us are truly dieting, to many of us this is a "lifestyle" change when it comes to eating.

I have had several good weeks, but this week on a rough project with work, crazy hours, and being in towns with few 'healthy' eating options; I have exceeded calorie counts on a few days and not eaten the fresher foods as much as I liked. I don't consider this a failure, or a setback. I always just start over the next day and don't let it get me down.

My problem in the past was lack of support from friends and family. I have to find the support from myself and ignore any naysayers. It can be tough though...

Round made a good point, he has grasped onto his victories of not needing a seatbelt extension and sampling foods he had never had before; not the 'gain 7 lbs.' That is the attitude to take to stay successful on your path!
tina10915

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 102

        
Posted: 24 Feb 2013, 18:25
lilgeorge, Thanks for your feedback! I agree, this is a lifestyle change and not a diet. Post here as much as you need. We are all here to support you. We are all going through it together!

Tina
Tina

We can do this if we take it day by day and step by step~
RoundIsAShap...

Joined: Nov 12
Posts: 84

        
Posted: 25 Feb 2013, 07:02
Yep, I don't like the term "diet"/"dieting" either. The word "diet" is accurate if you look at the original definition, but now it is misused as basically "depriving yourself."

I agree it has to be a lifestyle change. As of Saturday morning I had lost the 7 lbs plus another. Normally I'd consider that a bad thing (far too fast of a loss.) I already figured most of it was water weight that would go away as soon as I got back into the lower stress and healthier foods of my normal routine.
tina10915

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 102

        
Posted: 25 Feb 2013, 13:04
Round, Great new pic!!! Tell your wife I said hello!
Tina

We can do this if we take it day by day and step by step~
RoundIsAShap...

Joined: Nov 12
Posts: 84

        
Posted: 25 Feb 2013, 20:00
Thank you! Smile That's from a photo took in the summer of 2011 when I first met my sister. I'm pretty sure I weighed around 350 then. Kildayan says hi back!
lilgeorge327...

Joined: Apr 10
Posts: 48

        
Posted: 26 Feb 2013, 10:14
Thanks Tina! It is a challenge, I feel know the challenge is much different then ever before... last week was rough; out overnight for three extra nights with work unexpected and a LOT of travelling. Did fairly good, but did go over on calories three days in a row (trying to stay around 1800, hit 2000-2100 a couple of days.

Hopefully will get to do a weigh-in today *crossing fingers* that I at least maintained.

tina10915

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 102

        
Posted: 26 Feb 2013, 12:50
Lilgeorge,

Stay positive and remember, tomorrow is a new day. Even if you gained, the more positive you are the better. I have started a list of things going well in my life and what I am thankful for. I have had so much going wrong, it has put me in a deep depression I can't seem to get out of. Have a list by your scale. Every day you have gained anything or maintained, write down something positive on that paper. Learn that even though yo want to be a healthier weight, There are worse things than gaining a pound or maintaining what you were a week ago. I look at food as my enemy and the scale as my worst critic next to me. Don't allow you emotions get the best of you!
Tina

We can do this if we take it day by day and step by step~
RoundIsAShap...

Joined: Nov 12
Posts: 84

        
Posted: 26 Feb 2013, 18:51
Lilgeorge, I'm impressed you can maintain around 1800 normally. I'd try to do that but I know myself too well at this point. I'm alternating between 1800 M,W,F and 2200 Tu,Th,Sat.

Like tina said, don't let the extra calories get to you. 2000-2100 is still GREAT considering you got stuck going out and traveling for work during the week.
lilgeorge327...

Joined: Apr 10
Posts: 48

        
Posted: 04 Mar 2013, 17:59
I'm not disappointed over it, I have stayed between 1600-1800 the past week. Went to the doctor today and on their records I've lost 32 lbs since November. He's very pleased... I just wish I could get more off to see results in the BP.
tina10915

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 102

        
Posted: 04 Mar 2013, 18:45
Lilgeorge, on step at a time........Yo are doing so well!!!
Tina

We can do this if we take it day by day and step by step~
kimmyjeanmil...

Joined: Feb 13
Posts: 314

        
Posted: 04 Mar 2013, 20:07
You guys are great, what a great thread and what encouragement I got from reading all your posts. I was feeling bad today about my program even though I stayed within my rdi I didn't make the best of choices and I slept far to long today, but I have to work tonight so I can justify that, the food choices was simply a matter of being too lazy to cook healthy and I opted for quick and easy. I was going to weigh in in the morning but since I weighed on Sunday I decided that every 2 days is to frequent and I will weigh on Sunday mornings after work. Once a week is more than enough. My next big goal is to start exercising, so far haven't done that because I have so much joint pain that I can't hardly walk around my house without hurting, I know excuses excuses. I do make this commitment that when it starts warming up Iam going to start walking. Have a great evening and day ttomorrow and stay strong.
Kim Miller
tina10915

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 102

        
Posted: 05 Mar 2013, 00:12
Kim, Even the littlest amount of exercise is better than nothing. Do you have a back yard? Walk to the back of the yard and back to the door. Start with something small. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL IT IS WARM! You are just putting it on the back burner and I don't want you to give you on yourself before you really have a chance. I have been off for almost 6 weeks because of a knee injury. You really don't know what you have until it is taken away. Try really hard to just get even 10 minutes of walking in a day. Increase it as you are able. We are all going through the same thing. Once you do it, you will be thankful and proud of yourself. You are worth fighting for!!
Tina

We can do this if we take it day by day and step by step~