Food is Fuel, not Hugs and Kisses Diet


The Food is Fuel, not Hugs and Kisses diet is a lifestyle change that addresses mind AND body. It is based on the belief that depression, self-hatred, guilt, disappointment and a sense of personal failure contribute to the urge to punish oneself by using the body for a dumping ground. It is also based on the belief that once a healthy level of self-esteem, self-love and self-respect is achieved, the body will follow and the need to overeat will be gone. This diet teaches healthy food choices, excercise practices and small, but helpful lifestyle changes.

The Food is Fuel, not Hugs and Kisses diet does not employ the use of diet bars, prepacked foods or anything that cannot be found in any grocery store, unless you like to eat those things normally. It does, however, make use of your natural urges when it comes to food, allowing you to eat what you like while using portion control and substitution of really bad foods with good foods. On this plan, nothing is outlawed, only restircted. Cake and cookies are completely fine on special occasions with the understanding that small portions of these foods are expected and maybe a few extra minutes on the treadmill later in the day to work off the lethargy that bad foods usually cause.

This is a lifestyle change! This is not a diet that can be followed until a few pounds have been lost and then be able to go back to old eating habits and not gain any weight back. This is a program to teach dieters how to make small changes and take little baby steps to achieve a healthier, happier life for good.

(jkaaz101406's food tips)

 Foods you can have

Breads, Grains, Cereals, Pasta, Rice
Meat and Fish
Fruit and Fruit Juices
Vegetables and Legumes (e.g. Beans)
Dairy Products - Milk, Cheese, etc
Eggs and Egg Substitutes
Nuts and Seeds
Fats and Oils
Herbs, Spices, Sauces
Others, Snacks, Sweets, etc

Not OK

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 How To Follow Food is Fuel, not Hugs and Kisses Diet:

The basics: Eat whatever you want, making meats, fruits and veggies the bulk of your diet. The main focus is to make sure that your caloric intake is 2000 calories or under, depending on your personal needs, excercise regimen, etc.

This diet uses the fact that weight loss and gain are mathematical equations. For example: you eat 2000 calories today, have a sit down job and have not exercised yet. If you don't gain weight today, the best you can hope for is staying steady. But, if you threw in 30 minutes on the tread mill and dropped your calories to 1600 or 1700 calories and did that all week long, you will have lost at least a pound of fat (but maybe gained a bit of muscle) by the end of the week.

Fats, sugar and excess amounts of salt should be avoided and keep in mind that white bread, creamy sauces and highly processed foods are bad too. Now, I love sourdough bread, cheeses, bacon, donuts and all those other evil foods, and I will miss them. But, on days like my birthday or my anniversary or Thanksgiving and Christmas, I fully plan on eating some of those foods, in moderation and with the aid an extra session on the treadmill or ab machine. These moments of enjoyment or even blatant relapse are OK. The thing to remember is that tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to do the right thing.

The other major component of this program is the psychological program. Most people, me included, use food as comfort, replacement for something or as subconscious punishment for perceived failures or mistakes. It's time to stop that.

Food is fuel! Yes, it is very yummy, fun to cook and can be the glue that holds our families and cultures together, but it is nothing more than something that should be enjoyed rather than abused.

So, if I take the food away, those holes that I am filling with food will still be there and I can't bear to have them empty. The only logical things to do is to fill them with something else. On this diet, you will fill them with happy thoughts, love, appreciation, good attention, favorite hobbies, etc. And for those of you who feel the need to punish yourselves a bit, punish yourself with exercise until you learn how to let yourself off the hook, own up to things you feel ashamed of and move on without the baggage of guilt following you around.

Feeling good about yourself is a process, not a decision. First, you have to recognize what it is you dislike about yourself. For me, if I listen to the voice in my head, I hear things like, "You're enormous, fatty," "You screwed up again," "You're so mean to other people, jerk," "How could anybody love you?" The goal is to change that voice to be honest about things. You're not going to be wonderful and perfect everyday, but you can be above average most of the time, right? So that voice in your head should also say things like, "You look good today," "That was nice of you," and "Good job!"

My voice rarely said anything positive and it was defeating all my good intentions before I even got out of bed in the morning. So, I learned how to change the voice. Being proactive here really helps. Before you roll out of bed or during your morning shower or workout, repeat encouraging things to yourself. Use affirmations and positive mantras to remind yourself what a beautiful person you are, how you would like to treat others, what you will and won't do that day, goals you are working on, anything positive. If you stick to this everyday, I promise you, within a week you will feel better and after a while, that negative, nasty voice will disappear all together.

However, we are human and we will screw up and when that happens, we have to be equipped to deal with it. Guilt is no longer a word that should be in your vocabulary. Why? Because, as adults, we can and will be truthful and honest, looking our screws up right in the face and shrug our shoulders. Oh, well. Tomorrow is a new day - a new chance. The only time we should spend more than one minute on screw ups is when it affects others. Then the only things to do is apologize and move on. Leave the guilt far behind because it will do nothing more than drag you down.

Developing a relationship with God (by whatever name you call him or her) is always helpful too. Make sure to surround yourself only by positive, supportive people (this can be tough, especially when it's loved ones contributing to your chubbiness and distress). Using affirmations, positive thinking, spirituality, and even some visualization can only help. If you follow these small directions, you can achieve your goal.
  by member jkaaz101406
I am 30, married, work full time, am an Education major in college, and plan on teaching high school science after I graduate. I have tried just about every diet out there (Weight Wathcers, Atkins, South Beach) and have recently been discouraged by the diets that ...
member since: 16 Oct 07

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Chicken Soup with Whole Grain Noodles
Perfect for cold and flu season, with plenty of natural flavor and vegetables.
cals: 124kcal | fat: 1.11g | carbs: 11.90g | prot: 16.46g
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jkaaz101406's top tips

1.Write down your meal plan in advance and shop exclusively from that list. DO NOT go to the store hungry! Make sure to get some finger foods like celery and Laughing Cow cheese, sugar free popsicles or dark chocolate to keep hunger at bay when you are busy.
2.Every night before bed, add a short entry to your journal. Every morning while you are getting ready for the day, recite your affirmations.
3.Excercise in the morning. The intensity and frequency are up to you. But morning excercise is best. I am trying 20 minutes of cardio three to four times per week and 30 minutes of yoga once or twice a week.
4.IMPORTANT: Losing weight is nothing more than a mathematical equation. According to, it takes 3500 calories burned to lose one pound. So, in order to lose 1 pound per week, you must decrease food intake by 500 calories per day or burn off 500 calories per day through excercise. Double the amount to lose 2 lbs per week, etc.

About / History

I decided to develop this diet when all else had failed me. I have tried the Shangri-La diet (major diarrhea issues with this one), Weight Watchers (costs $, though not much and uses portion control), Jenny Craig (costs $, too much for me to afford), Atkins (I love bread and my cholesterol was sky high on this diet which is just as dangerous as eating carbs), and South Beach (I liked this one the best, but want to address other issues in addition to eating better).

I finally came to the conclusion that I had issues that contributed to my bad eating habits (rewarding myself too much, overeating on bad days, etc). Mixed with my drug and alcohol history and addiction to smoking, I wanted to take care of me as a whole, not just one problem at a time. I wanted to learn to love myself again, leave guilt behind, not longer be afraid of failure, face my abandonment issues and learn to deal with bad days without using food to self-medicate.

My goal is to drop 75 lbs. in 9 months, which is very reasonable, I think. I am not interested in losing weight really fast, as I am older, have been heavy for a long time and do not want to have to get any plastic surgery to remove excess skin down the road. In addition to loosing the weight, I am looking for a healthier, stronger me who does not struggle with depression, is nice to others, loves herself, and is addiction-free.

Those are my goals. This is my journey. And I have planned one big reward at the end - a week long trip to anywhere (right now I am thinking Disney World)! My husband is on board and I am ready to step into my new life!

  Why choose "Food is Fuel, not Hugs and Kisses Diet"?
 Promotes long term weight loss
 A healthy living alternative
 Teaches sustainable weight loss skills
 Provides an energy boost
 Improves mood and outlook
 Reduces the risks of diet-related diseases
 A roadmap for a healthier lifestyle

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