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Starting again, again, again. Big disappointment to be back on 300lb. Using my wife's scales now, last time I was on here seriously I was using the ones I already had which typically gave readings of 10-14lb less than hers for some reason. Crazy how much difference there can be, both same brand, different models though. I don't know how accurate these scales are, just took two tests and got the same. Other ones I took half a dozen and got different readings every time. At least these are consistent, whether they're accurate or not.
Bluntly, I've been reckless and I know it. I just haven't been in the right mood for it for a long time. It's all text book, you eat crap so feel like crap, you feel crap so you eat crap, you think you deserve to feel crap cos that's what you think you are. Can't even really point to anything that's made me feel this way either. It really is such a battle. More to it than pushing yourself to go the extra mile and to exercise restraint - course they're important but the hardest part for me, and it always has been, is to push myself to challenge well established thought and behavioural patterns.
Feel like I've been waiting for a wake up call for a couple of months. I've had loads in the past, and like the crap feeling, I can't even say where they come from either. Course it's not realistic just click your fingers, pull yourself together and decide you're ready on demand. Doesn't stop me wanting it to work like that though, and today is one of those days. At the same time I've had plenty of times that something, somehow has just clicked and it's felt right, seemingly out of nowhere.
It'll always be a mystery and a battle to me. Here's hoping I can somehow really start to enjoy exercise, or someone can invent celery that tastes like pizza. Or both, that'd be really convenient. For now, I'm gonna have a few couple of minute stints on the cross trainer while watching some crap on youtube, I reckon.
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300.0 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 80.0 lb.
Diet followed N/A.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 11 September 2017:
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1019 kcal
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Fat: 29.95g | Prot: 27.35g | Carb: 160.47g.
Breakfast: Alpro Soya Almond Milk, Sainsbury's Wholegrain Red Cherry Wheats. Lunch: Co-Op Mediterranean Roll, Heinz Potato & Leek Soup. Dinner: Marks & Spencer Feta Cheese & Slow Roasted Tomatoes Pasta Salad. Snacks/Other: Co-Op Loved By Us Sour Cream & Chive Lentil Curls. more...
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 Comments
Good luck!!!!! You've done it before I'm sure you can do it again you sound very positive 😁 i get exactly what you mean about the scales I have to get weighed in exactly the same spot every week or they show 1 to 2 pounds difference so annoying!!!!!! Stay focused!!!
11 Sep 17 by member: Carmelle75
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Hey! Good to see you again. It's strange, there's a few of us taking today as a re-start point. Maybe we all realise there's time to be utilised to get to a decent point by half-way to Christmas and then Christmas! Take care and keep at it!
11 Sep 17 by member: Phooka
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Carmelle75, thanks. Positivity doesn't come too naturally to me! I just want to be realistic, cos I know for far too long I haven't been. I know after a bad period we all start to lose weight quickly and it's an unsustainable rate when there's less to lose. On the other hand, a bad day isn't the end of the world and I should stop feeling like it is, it's human. Yep, I've picked a spot for the scales, using cracks bewtween tiles on bathroom floor as a marker. I'd have drawn a square down there but don't think my wife would be too happy..
12 Sep 17 by member: rwaller7483
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Phooka, heya again :). Haha, yeah there's definitely a bit of pre-medidated damage limitation about the timing for me at least. I've just got back from Budapest on Saturday, only a three night thing, going away again in a couple of weeks. Had a great time and I know comparing to others can be a recipe for disaster but it just seemed a bit more obvious and in my face how much slimmer and healthier almost everyone else looked compared to me. But that's just me anyway, I've always looked worse to myself than I do others..
12 Sep 17 by member: rwaller7483
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I needed to reach rock bottom and feel really crappy before I could kick off and take things in hand - reaching 15 stone was my 'click' moment. As for the everyone else being slimmer and healthier - if you start to lose weight everyone else will look bigger to you! You can do it, and you know we'll all be here helping you along - I'm part of the restart challenge because I have struggled over the past few months but these guys have been amazing. Good luck and welcome back.
12 Sep 17 by member: StrangeTrout
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Taking the words out of my mouth there, StrangeTrout! Just wish I didn't have a tendency to let things get so out of hand before I take it on. That said, if you haven't got something to aim for, what have you got?
14 Sep 17 by member: rwaller7483
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