kingkeld's Journal, 19 January 2012

I'm still SO excited to be below 80 kgs! I gotta say I was nervous about weighing in today, as I was pretty sure I was gonna be over 80 again. Two days of massive weight loss usually equals a day or more of re-adjusting somewhat. That would naturally bring me over 80 again, and I'm not too keen on that. However, today's weigh-in only showed a tiny gain of 100 grams. I'm very excited about that.

Hopefully I can keep doing this balance act and never see 80 again! I doubt it, as Indulgence Day this Saturday surely is gonna mess with it, but one is allowed to hope, right? :)

I slept better last night. The night before was horrible, I was thinking of work and had a lot of unanswered questions that I needed to attend to. Well, yesterday I made it a priority to find those answers, and that put me a little more at ease. I can see that even though I have a lot to do, I'm not in a crazy hurry, and it's not TOO urgent. I'll make it on time, I think. No stress, please.

Yesterday, I did NOT go to the gym. I had it all planned though, until I in the last moment realized that I had forgotten to bring my gym shoes. Dammit. I was so ready to go, but I guess that's how it is. Once I got home, I got tired (it was a busy day at work), and I just didn't see myself going. I felt horrible skipping, but it is what it is. I felt like a school boy with the lamest excuse for skipping gym. "Teacher, I forgot my shoes". Go sit in the corner, please. :/

These last days I've been focusing a little on portion sizes. When I have measured my meals, both dinner and preparing lunches, I have taken a good look at what I have served myself. Then realized that it's probably more than I actually need, and take some off the plate/out of the lunch box again. And guess what - I haven't been hungry.

Yesterday I did have a little more of my low cal ice cream than I had planned. I felt like it, was super low on calories (I ended up at 1200 AFTER the ice cream) so I thought I'd allow myself to do it. I'm not really sure if it was a conscious choice, or if it was an excuse. Probably an excuse, the more I think about it. My main focus on it is that I need to NOT make excuses, but make it conscious choices if I do these things. I need to think it though before I eat it, consider consequences etc. What if this ice cream had brought me back up in the 80s? Even if it had just messed with my water balance, I would have kicked myself for doing it. Not worth it.

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Never forget, Keld.

I haven't moved further on my mindfulness class yet. I'm waiting for Wife. I can see her clearly benefiting from doing it with me, plus I'd like for us to do it together, to have someone to share it with, and someone to join for this journey. She promised me to take a listen to this first episode of the course, and let me know today if this is something she's likely to follow to the end with me. If she wants to, I'd LOVE for her to join me. I think we can both use it, and I think it would generally make our lives better to have this understanding. However, if she is NOT interested right now, then I'll have to move on and get going on it. I need it. I want it. Hopefully, she'll see the change later on, and join me again. She's always welcome, of course.

Sometimes we and our loved ones simply aren't in the same place on things like this. I guess the same on our weight loss journeys. I have deep admiration for those of you out there who are doing FatSecret, losing weight AND doing a whole different meal plan for your loved ones at the same time. It must be SO hard. I don't think I could do that.

I know how tough it can be to "argue" with people on what is acceptable foods and what are not. In the beginning it can seem like a huge challenge to simply cut down on something that we are used to have as comfort foods. To me, it's clearly the ice cream. I LOVE ice cream. I don't want to be without it. After 16 months of doing this I still can't be without it. However, I found my solution in the low cal version, and I am okay with that. I know that I should probably work harder on simply learning to live without it, and eat a piece of fruit instead, but it's difficult. I've made so many changes to my way of life, but this one is hard to kick.

I know that I would never had made it this far in my journey, had I been told that I could never eat ice cream. I would have quit there and then. Ridiculous and childish? Absolutely? Would I have cared? Not a chance.

When I set out on this journey I was determined to "make" a weight loss system that would work for me. I had a few simple rules, which of course have changed somewhat over the months. To the best of my recollection there were something like this:

1. Eat "normal people food". Not always salads and other "boring" foods.
2. Drink tons of water.
3. Journal.
4. Stick to the rules.
5. Only count calories - eat what you want, stay within your limits, and learn from your mistakes.

This is pretty much where I started. Then, it's pretty much what I still do. Of course, my taste buds have changed, and I no longer find salads boring! I have learned to like a lot of foods, and probably more important - I have learned to DISlike a lot of bad foods. I think realizing the impact on my weight, and tasting all the fat and great has made me simply not wanting them.

I still have two "demons" though. Ice cream and chocolate. I can't resist them. I try hard, and I think I'm doing okay. The rule about staying within my RDI helps me here. I'll have chocolate if I can fit it in my plan. Same with ice cream. However, I will have the dark chocolate, with less of the bad things, and the low cal ice cream. I still lose weight, so I think it's a fair trade, and I stay sane along the way. That's gotta count for something. If this weight loss journey had been too rough on me, gotten too tedious, too boring, too restrictive, then I probably would have quit. However, I found a route - thanks to the amazing fatsecret and everything related to it (including the awesome buddies!) that works, that keeps me in check and the helps me stay sane. It's a great way of life and a great way of controlling it.

Anyways, I feel like I'm just babbling... Maybe I should start preparing for work. :)

Today I am thankful that
- I didn't bounce back to the 80s.
- A reasonable night's sleep.
- Less stress.
- Internet radio - Denmark has the world's most boring radio stations. Not rock'n'roll. I highly recommend 181.FM for all your radio needs. Free and virtually commercial free (something like one ad per 30 mins).
- STRONG morning coffee.

Today's my long day at work. I don't really see me doing that today. I might skip out early if I can. It depends a little on the work load generated today. We'll see.

There is ONE thing I will have to say before I leave for today:

I apologize that I haven't been too active commenting on journals lately. It doesn't mean that I am not here or that I don't read. I just haven't had the energy to do too much. My compromise for myself to get to go read is that I will have to just do that for right now. The work stress has been a little rough on me, but I can feel things getting better. I just don't want anyone to think that I am NOT reading their journals. If your a buddy of mine, I read your journal.

I gotta say I don't like the way FatSecret lists our journals. I go to My Fatsecret, click Buddies, then Journals, then New Entries and I get the list. I have a lot of buddies, and that makes the list only show the latest journals. Sadly, I see that many aren't there. I assume it's simply because the size of that list is limited and there is no "page 2" option. If anyone has a better way of reading older journals, please let me know. I haven't found one.

And... lastly... Inspired by ferlengheti:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/04854XqcfCY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

How's that for a motivational song for all of us! Thanks, my friend!

Take care my friends! Life is good!

175.7 lb Lost so far: 166.0 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

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1549 kcal

Fat: 56.36g | Prot: 83.97g | Carb: 179.74g.   Breakfast: Rye Bread, Egg. Lunch: Fars (svampe), Mixed Vegetables (Frozen). Dinner: White Potatoes (Flesh and Skin), Broccoli, Beef Rib Eye (Small End, Trimmed to 0" Fat, Choice Grade). Snacks/Other: Free Laekkerbar, Werther's Original Sugar Free Hard Candy, Licorice, Eclipse Peppermint Sugar Free Chewing Gum, kakaois, banana. more...

2677 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Desk Work - 8 hours and 30 minutes, Sitting - 5 hours and 40 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 20 minutes, Standing - 1 hour and 30 minutes. more...