madaboutmoose's Journal, 11 February 2010

Another day ...

My FIL is stable for now ... will have open heart surgery in 4 days or so to replace a heart valve. Bob is not working today and is on his way to the hospital to see his dad. I have decided that I will go visit him (of course) but I am not going to stay all day for the weekend like I know Bob will want to. I just can't do it ... I have things I need to get done at home and I'm too fried for that. I need to take care of me. Of course I'll spend as much time as I need to when his dad has surgery ... but until then I just don't see he point of us both "living" at the hospital. Does that sound bad? I hope not.

I wanted to EAT lots of things yesterday afternoon & evening but I made pretty wise choices and didn't do any damage. I know it is just stress and being tired. My shoulder/neck tweaked the night before last and it is worse today. It woke me up in the middle of the night and this morning it was radiating up into my head!!! Advil has helped. I meant to bring my heat pack with me today but forgot. Hey ... I just remembered I have one here!! I'll stick it in the microwave and perhaps a little heat will help loosen up whatever is spasming on me. See ... I do still have a few operational brain cells!!

Five things I am grateful for today ...

1. This heart problem came to light NOW instead of just before our Mexico trip or even worse while we were in Mexico. Although the timing is difficult it could have been much, much worse. At least now my FIL will either be well recuperated from surgery or he will have passed on ... both of those I can deal with ...
2. being able to process here ... writing has always been a good way for me to process ...
3. being able to "cancel" one of my visits today because I work as a part of a team and my team member is willing to step up to the plate and take one item off of mine ... thank you Deb!!!
4. a light dusting of snow overnight which covered the dirty, melted icy snow, dusted the trees with white, and made things look much prettier around my humble abode
5. awareness that life is a series of moments and that I can do almost anything ... a moment at a time

Today will bring whatever it brings ... and I am okay!!
180.6 lb Lost so far: 78.6 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 11 February 2010:
1439 kcal Fat: 23.24g | Prot: 96.55g | Carb: 181.10g.   Breakfast: Fiber One, Zone Perfect Chocolate Caramel Pecan, water. Lunch: apple, Blue Bunny Light Yogurt, Chicken Vegetable Soup, baby carrots, Hidden Valley Ranch Fat Free Dressing. Dinner: Perrier, Lean Cuisine French Bread Pizza. Snacks/Other: vodka, Starbuck's Skinny Caramel Latte, white turkey meat. more...
2996 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 4 hours and 15 minutes, Desk Work - 9 hours, Driving - 2 hours, Precor Elliptical - 45 minutes. more...
losing 1.4 lb a week

   Support   

1 to 20 of 24
Comments 
Your going through so much right now, and as much as you need to take care of those around you, you have to take care of yourself as well - I'm glad you realize it! Take it easy today lady, and I'm here for you... all day since I can't get out of my house again today.... 
11 Feb 10 by member: MomofTwoGirls
Sounds like you are putting yourself first and know you will be there if and when needed -nothing wrong with that! Oh man I hate that neck prob, I used to have it alot pre fit stage lol just stretch it often and the heat should help too. Mines a bit stiff now too, ugh.  
11 Feb 10 by member: cindyshine
I'm sorry to hear about your FIL. I'm glad to hear though that you are taking care of yourself. Make sure you tell Bob to take care of himself, too. When Joe's father was sick, he didn't take care of himself, and he's still paying for it now. There is no need to live at the hospital. Be strong and smile, you seem to be doing that fine without me telling you to, though. :) 
11 Feb 10 by member: alllicat
Thinking of you and glad that you're taking care of yourself.  
11 Feb 10 by member: erikag
Keep the faith think postive thoughts good things are coming your way! 
11 Feb 10 by member: thecoach
you need to take care of yourself and your life, it doesn't mean you don't care about your FIL. spend as much time as you can, but don't hesitate to go back home when you want to. and your hubby might do the same, he has to take care of himself these days too. you're in my thoughts my friend! 
11 Feb 10 by member: jessyline
I'm glad to hear that your Father-in-Law is OK and that you have been handling things so well. Hang in there! 
11 Feb 10 by member: information
Like you said Moose... take care of you! It's like they say on planes, do your own oxygen mask before helping others...  
11 Feb 10 by member: Chris1979
UPDATE ... FIL did indeed have a heart attack. Looks like there is an arterial blockage and 2 valves that need replacing rather than 1. He also has a mass on his lungs which may be lung cancer. If he has lung cancer they will not do the heart surgery. The plot thickens. FIL and my hubby are doing "okay" ... FIL feels he has lived a good full life and is not fighting or fearing death if it happens. We are in the "test" phase ... looks like an angioplasty in the near future.  
11 Feb 10 by member: madaboutmoose
dang. I remember this anxious waiting stange too well. Poor hub, I hope he is 'ok'  
11 Feb 10 by member: cindyshine
I hope all goes well with FIL. Sorry to hear about the complications but I hope your hubby will be ok and will also take care of himself. I think you are very wise to take care of you first. None of us can do anything for anyone else unless we ourselves are well. 
11 Feb 10 by member: dawn0001
Did you see that President Clinton was hospitalized in New York today for something similar? And, it seems very serious because Hillary is on the way there from Washington. :-|  
11 Feb 10 by member: information
No I have not been exposed to news in quite some time!!! I've had my nose buried in my work!! I'll check it out! 
11 Feb 10 by member: madaboutmoose
Oh no--so sorry. Your poor husband. And poor you. You cannot catch a break these days. And yet you always manage a five. You've got a strong spirit, there, Moose. You're in my thoughts. Take care of yourself. Curl up in bed with a book tonight (after brining in the wood, of course) and go to bed early.  
11 Feb 10 by member: beets_yum
God bless you and yours. I will say an extra prayer for your hubby's dad. You are so right about taking life moment by moment - day by day - week by week. The tense shoulders are a sign that you need to pace yourself and get done what needs to be done. Inch by inch Lady. I am woman! Hear me roar! MUCH LOVE. That's a loving thought worth repeating. MUCH LOVE. 
11 Feb 10 by member: poet-in-motion
Thinking of you. Such a hard time when those we love are down and out- the waiting is hard, hospitals are so stressful...you have your plate full, may you be blessed with a patient and peaceful spirit despite and surrounding circumstances. 
11 Feb 10 by member: sharonfriz
Moose I really feel for you. You have had your hands full for so long with one thing after another. I am so sorry. Please try and take care of yourself. I am thinking of you. 
11 Feb 10 by member: chattycathy1955
I appreciate the thoughts, prayers and encouragement. I'm struggling. It sounds selfish to say but I am just full up. I do not want to take her to see my FIL on Sunday and yet the "we" word is being used. I was so looking forward to these 4 days off to recuperate and now I feel like I will go back to work more stressed not less. I really do have things I NEED to do here ... things I have not gotten too because I have been so busy. Important things like taxes, paying bills, I could care less about a messy house. I resent her. I resent being "nice" and "helpful" to her. I work full time in a job where I am focused on "others" ... I feel like I'm a b****. I'm overwhelmed, overtired, and resentful. I'll find a way ... I always do ... but I'm telling you ... ugh. Crap. Maybe I'll feel differently later. Sorry guys.  
11 Feb 10 by member: madaboutmoose
Moose I kept thinking of you today... do what you can, do what you have to do, and don't feel bad about anything. I hope you'll find a way, please don't forget to rest. you would not be able to help if you don't take care of yourself. and, maybe if you can get some rest, you'll resent less being nice to her. being tired doesn't make things easier, especially when it takes a good deal of positive energy with people and situations... 
11 Feb 10 by member: jessyline
Yup, one moment at a time. 
11 Feb 10 by member: LauraJo98

     
 

Submit a Comment


You must  sign in to submit a comment
 

Other Related Links

Members



madaboutmoose's weight history


Get the app
    
© 2024 FatSecret. All rights reserved.