Johanne's Journal, 05 January 2012

Warning! You may not want to read this.

OMG! What a horrid morning. My weigh-in was a total shocker. I feel like I'm starting from scratch. My weight was static for so long and now it's climbing at a phenomenal rate.

I'm soooooo sick! I can't breath and bending over or turning to fast makes me almost pass out . . . VERTOGO!

I have a very sick kitty who is throwing up all over the house (including my bed last night . . . eeeeeew!) He wants to be held constantly and keeps throwing all 20 lbs of himself at me. I can't explain to him that he can't sit on my chest because I already can't breath. I've never had a cat before that wants attention when they're sick. They usually hide and don't want to be messed with.

After just a few days inattention, the house is a disaster. It was already a disaster but I've been working at it a little each day. It's amazing how fast it can deteriorate in such a short time. It's like weight. Unless you are conscious of it and work at it constantly, it's so hard to get under control and so easy to lose control.

If any of you took the time to read this, I'm so sorry I'm such a downer today. I just want to cry. As I write this, Velcro is once again trying to climb into my arms. I can't remember ever owning such a huge cat . . . and he's not fat, all muscle.

I'm going to go try to get my coffee down and try to pull myself together. This weigh-in just seems to have caused a cascade of emotion.
220.0 lb Lost so far: 59.0 lb.    Still to go: 20.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 05 January 2012:
1757 kcal Fat: 62.42g | Prot: 97.62g | Carb: 180.12g.   Breakfast: Coffee, Almond Milk, Scrambled Eggs, Smart Balance, Gluten Free Rolled Oats, Truvia, Diet Cranberry Juice. Lunch: Silver Floss Shredded Sauerkraut, Smart Balance Omega, Smoked Turkey. Dinner: Uncle Ben's Natural Brown Rice, Dole Sliced Strawberries, Pictsweet Deluxe Baby Broccoli Florets, Smart Balance Omega. Snacks/Other: Smoked Turkey, Uncle Ben's Natural Whole Grain Brown Rice, Dried Apricots. more...
2483 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 15 hours and 30 minutes, Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 30 minutes. more...
on diet You: On a Diet   gaining 5.2 lb a week


Being sick is no fun... I'm down myself. I hope you feel better soon, my friend. I keep trying to keep up here on FS, but I just don't have the energy. I felt like you needed a pat on the back though. :) 
05 Jan 12 by member: kingkeld
Hang in there! Just one step at a time. 
05 Jan 12 by member: rachel2writer
Johanne, do you think the weight gain is caused by the addition of the :) Don't worry about the weight concentrate on getting you and kitty better :) 
05 Jan 12 by member: triaby
It is probably all the fluid retention from being sick! And then to have a sick kitty on top of it...poor furbaby and poor mama! Feel better soon my sweet, bonny friend. Love you! HUGS! 
05 Jan 12 by member: ctlss
Hope you feel better soon; be kind to yourself. Yes your weight is up, but you are sick and some of it could be fluid. You can't do much about it while you are sick, or about cleaning up the house. Rest, drink lots of fluid and give you and Velcro (love the name) some TLC.  
05 Jan 12 by member: sarahsmum
Oh and Bonnie, if that weight doesn't start to go the other way and quickly, please go to the doctor...since you have CF, you need to make sure it isn't fluid building up around your heart! Love you, sweet lady! <3<3<3 
05 Jan 12 by member: ctlss
Jo its the meds your taking causing you to retain water..clam down and take a breath...and go to the doctor if it persists..Hope you and Velcro are feeling better soon....Love and Hugs..honey...:O) P.S keep us posted... 
05 Jan 12 by member: BHA
What goes up can come down. You are still here and not ignoring it, so you are still a winner in my eyes XX 
05 Jan 12 by member: Di Happy
I agree. The sudden weight gain sounds like fluid. Please call your doctor:) Lots of love! ♥  
05 Jan 12 by member: RubyRedSox
Thanks Keld, I needed that pat. I hope you feel better real soon. 
06 Jan 12 by member: Johanne
Rachel, thanks. When those steps start going backwards it's a little disturbing but I don't plan to stop trying. 
06 Jan 12 by member: Johanne
Triaby, that's it! It's the sheep! Why didn't I think of that?!!! LOL. I'm working on kitty and me. He seems to be doing better. I'm not doing worse. :-) 
06 Jan 12 by member: Johanne
Stef, you're such a darling. My Velcro seems to be doing better, and that's a relief. If things don't clear up soon, I will go to the Dr. They aren't getting worse at this point. My oxygen saturation is still above 90% so I'm not too worried at this point. My ankles aren't too swollen, so I don't think the fluid is something to worry about yet. I'll keep you posted. Love you lots!!! 
06 Jan 12 by member: Johanne
Bren, thanks so much. I can't take a deep breath. LOL! But I've calmed down. It was just so awful to see that 2nd huge gain in two weeks. I know it won't stay there, but . . . . . . . . . . . Anyway, thank you so much for the hugs (I really need them) and I love you back! 
06 Jan 12 by member: Johanne
Di, I don't plan on going anywhere. If I ever got up to my former weight, I think it would, literally, kill me. I really don't think my body could handle it anymore. Thanks for the encouragement and Hugs! 
06 Jan 12 by member: Johanne
Ruby, I called yesterday. The Dr. said I was already doing everything they could do for me there. I'm doing breathing treatments, zinc, fluids, etc. They said if my oxygen saturation levels dropped below 90%, my ankles started to swell badly or my fever got worse, to go to the emergency room. Thanks for the love. I love you back! 
06 Jan 12 by member: Johanne


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