Janelleas's Journal, 29 September 2011

Ive been off diet. I have no idea why I seem intent on killing myself with food. My blood pressure is under control with med's I am taking. WHY am I doing this to myself. I admitt I have been under a lot of stress lately. Family issues that I suppose every family has, worry over my adult children and grandchildren. Now I really need to focus on ME!! why can't I do that! I am so frustrated, i want to find a mantra I can keep repeating to myself to help me remember to work on ME FIRST DAMN IT!! i'mm 63 yrs old and it is time for me to take care of myself or die by own stupidity. GRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Today I am so angry with myself. I need to get back here and maybe into a challenge. Better than hanging around facebook playing games.
184.0 lb Lost so far: 0 lb.    Still to go: 51.0 lb.    Diet followed poorly.
on diet The South Beach Diet   gaining 1.0 lb a week

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Comments 
Women constantly forget to put their oxygen mask on first, once you know you're letting the stress get the best of you fight back. Stop often, be quiet, and focus on taking refreshing deep breaths. 
29 Sep 11 by member: Pheedy
We miss you and love you and are here for you every day!! Come back and get healthy! You need to do it for you. 
29 Sep 11 by member: sharonfriz
I'm glad to have you back and putting yourself first...hang in there  
29 Sep 11 by member: veggies yuk
Life is hard. You are #1 and worth the time and effort. I'm sure your family agrees. Best wishes. 
29 Sep 11 by member: meonadiet
Hey! So glad to "see" you. I miss you! Let's do a challenge. Xo 
29 Sep 11 by member: Densible
Welcome back! Turn that anger into motivation and determination for YOU. Things happen, we stray. Now it is time for you and we know you can do it. Wish you the best! 
30 Sep 11 by member: Javadali
thanks everyone. Obviously I have not been her for a while. Had some issues with a herniated disc in my neck, sent pain shooting down my neck,shoulder,arm and right down to the fingers. Numbness, pain and involuntary muscle twitches (you could see ripples of muscle moving under my skin, traveling down my arm). Now after medication to take down the swelling in the disc, pain killer pills and physical therapy... I am ready to at least face life again. Exercise is out for a while, except for the PT ones for my neck and arm. Im looking at a nasal surgery as soon as I can to help relieve the headaches.. so maybe by Christmas I will be ready for a challenge. right now I am focusing on gettin well enough to get that nasal surgery done. Also trying not to let my relationship problem with my oldest daughter get to me. Heck life is too short to spend it worrying about something that happened a long time ago, or to keep picking at sores.. specially imaginary sores. I'm just going to be happy with what I have and accept what I cannot change. Thanks everyone for the good advice. I am finally going to put myself first! Im ready to do that now.  
27 Oct 11 by member: Janelleas
Good for you! Wish you the best! Take it slow and easy! 
27 Oct 11 by member: Javadali

     
 

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