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So, another major personal loss and I can feel Ana at my door. Last month there was a time when I weighed 152 lbs. Just generally overeating and being sad - falling into my partner's bad habits and felt powerless to turn down food in social situations. He wasn't a very good person. The screaming, the demeaning words, finally the demands and what turned into physical abuse. I couldn't take it anymore and I left for good last week. Trying to control something has led me back here I suppose. Trying to convince myself that I'm alright, that things are under control, that I'm not unloveable and that I don't deserve to be treated badly.
I'm going to lose 20 lbs. by Christmas. I want to lose 10 pounds by September and the full 20 by December 25th.
Height 5'10" | HW - 162 | LW - 132 | CW - 145 | GW 1 - 135 | UGW - 125
I will NOT eat more than 1000 calories a day. I'm going to take a more focused interest in my body and what I eat. I am going to continue to drink at least 120 ounces of water a day.
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145.0 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 18.0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 17 June 2015:
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958 kcal
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Fat: 17.20g | Prot: 49.00g | Carb: 91.32g.
Breakfast: Coffee-Mate Sugar Free Hazelnut Liquid Coffee Creamer, Splenda No Calorie Sweetener with Fiber, Coffee, Clover Honey, Sweet Cherries, Fage Total 2% Greek Yogurt. Lunch: Mustard, Great Value Hamburger Dill Chips Pickles, Joseph's Flax, Oat Bran & Whole Wheat Pita Bread, Egg. Dinner: Red Table Wine, Sangria, Marinated Fish (Ceviche). Snacks/Other: Water. more...
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1614 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 10 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 50 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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losing 0.4 lb a week
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 Comments
So glad you left a bad situation to take care of yourself. Be careful not to go too low on calories.
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wow,, 1000 Cal,, not a lot . be careful .
17 Jun 15 by member: Tamarah Jo
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Thank you for the comments, HCB and Tamarah. Like I said in my tips, don't listen to me. I have a lifelong problem I just use this site as a diary for myself when I am struggling with my eating disorder. Realistically I will probably stay closer to 750 and I know that isn't a healthy choice.
17 Jun 15 by member: fitfatty
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The problem with keeping it so low is your body is going to go into starvation mode and be unhealthy! even if you eat 1200 without exercise that is a lowish calorie intake but enough so your body doesnt believe its starving! I understand where you are coming from, I struggled with an eating disorder for many years, always aiming for less that 1000 as well and I was so unhappy. It didn't help me lose weight because you can only keep under 1000 cals for so long before your body is screaming for nutrients. (i would eventually give in). I was advised by a personal trainer to eat 1500-1600 with exercise and although it was such a struggle to adjust my mindset, I feel so much healthier and happier, haven't been obsessing as much and am almost rid of the eating disorder :)
17 Jun 15 by member: pixierose
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