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ctlss's Journal, 03 April 2011
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WHEW! MAYBE, JUST MAYBE!!
Well, another 1/2 pound gone...maybe, just maybe, this stall is finally past. I sure hope so, although 1/2 pound could be from blowing my nose!!! lol Regardless I will take it!
Sometimes it is so hard to continue on when you KNOW that you have been doing what you should be doing, recording every single speck of food that goes into your mouth (right down to a slice of mushroom), and still the weight is static. It just won't budge. This stall has been a real test of my determination, my intestinal fortitude, my patience, my perseverance, my faithfulness, my diligence, and my dedication to this lifestyle change. Yes, I have been frustrated, irritated, depressed, angry, resigned, skeptical, and, quite frankly, have come quite close to just giving up, and stuffing my face with white bread, white mashed potatoes, white rice, cookies, cakes, brownies, cupcakes.....Every Sunday I get up and bake cookies for the folks at church...Nestle toll house chocolate chip cookies...cookies that I never taste. In the last 6 month, I have had a converstation with myself, that goes something along the lines of, "Well, what the heck? You aren't losing anything sticking to this WOL, so why are you even trying? One cookie isn't going to be the end of the world. Go ahead, have one...it's not like you're losing anything, anyway!" So I bake them, load them, take them to church, lay them out, along with the cinnamon bread bagel slices with cream cheese, and I NEVER, NEVER eat one, not because I am strong, or have iron will....the truth is, I am just too darned scared to try it, you know? Scared that the uncontrollable cravings for all things white will return, scared, that in the blink of an eye, I will be right back where I was fourteen months ago, scared that once I start, I won't stop. So I look at them, smell them, and watch others eat them, and offer me what is left to take home (always say no thank you), and wonder if that darned scale is ever going to move again! Now finally, for the first time since Christmas, it has.....not much, but it's a start, and I think the long, dry spell may be coming to an end. The next two weeks will tell for sure, but the truth is, that even if the scale never moves again, this is my lifestyle now, and though I may be tempted, I am never going back there again. I have too much to lose!
Anyway, onward and (hopefully) downward!
Hope everyone is having a wonderful Sunday!
TTFN!
~Stef~
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187.5 lb
Lost so far: 70.2 lb.
Still to go: 47.5 lb.
Diet followed 100%.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 03 April 2011:
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1409 kcal
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Fat: 88.63g | Prot: 110.86g | Carb: 33.52g.
Breakfast: coffee, coffee, splenda, horizon heavy whipping cream, horizon heavy whipping cream, Stef's Chicken Breading. Lunch: Scrambled Egg Cups. Dinner: Egg batter, bell pepper, green onions, shrimp, red wine vinegar, ocean perch, lettuce, olive oil, Pork shoulder steak, carrot, celery, cucumber, radish, zucchini. Snacks/Other: watermelon, simms beef snack sticks, fiber gummies, Deviled Eggs ala Stef. more...
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2072 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 16 hours. more...
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on diet Atkins
losing 0.5 lb a week
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1 to 20 of 50
 Comments
Love it! Thanks for sharing...and SOOOOOOOOOOO happy for you that you are seeing positive results from your EXTRAORDINARY resolve. :D Love, Evie
03 Apr 11 by member: Evie1010
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Hello my sweet Stef,You may think your not strong, but let me tell ya honey your strong, maybe its the fear but your strong. So happy you have
lost and hope it keeps coming off even if its just a little at a time. Rome was not built in a day. Love and Hugs.....Bren
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I really understand where you are at, i am afraid once I start I will go right back to a pound of chocolate a day. the lifestyle change is just that, a change for your life. you have that mastered, your body must have really needed the adjustment after such a large weight loss. once it realizes it's okay and readjusted itself, you are on the road again. Unfortunately these bodies don't come with training manuals or it would all be easier.I'm glad Atkins finally has one.
03 Apr 11 by member: 83JEN
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Stef - boy, am I feeling ya on the cookies / bakesale stuff at church...only around here... it's cupcakes! ;) What in the world was I thinking!!! LOL! (and you know what..it's been hard, but I haven't had one either!) I am just so proud of you...for sticking this out...and continuing to evaluate everything, press through this, and keep on trying!!! YOU, MY FRIEND... ARE FAITHFUL!!! and I am happy that even on the inside, things are starting to stir and move around! Downward We Go!!!
03 Apr 11 by member: jsfantome
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Thanks so much Evie....arghhh, this has been a hard one, but you know something....every other time I tried this, I know that I would have given in, quit, sotpped, thrown in the towel....this time is different. Sure hope the losses continue, but regardless, I am so much healthier than I was when I started this journey! Love and hugs! :D
03 Apr 11 by member: ctlss
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Bren, I know that I am not strong, but I also know that all I need to do is ask God to give me strength, and He will do so! Thank God! Hope you are having a great Sunday, my friend. Love and hugs right back attcha! :D
03 Apr 11 by member: ctlss
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Stef, your fortitude has prevailed and the scale is now moving again for you, maybe not leaps and bounds but moving nonetheless. All the little bits add up to a big bit when all is said and done!
03 Apr 11 by member: HealthyBabs
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Oh Jen, I know that I can't...I know that this is MY LAST CHANCE to get it right...I have done this so many times, and everytime I have reverted back to the old eating habits that got me to the 257.5 pounds in the first place. Even typing that number, after all this time, it is still incredulous to me that I let it get to that point. But I also know that relapsing is just a binge away...not a small cheat, but a full blown binge. The kind where you start eating some of the foods that you know will trigger the blood sugar spikes and craving, and then the whole nasty, vicious cycle begins again. But not this time....this time I am stronger, this time I am determined, this time I know that if I go back to that place, I will never be able to claw my way out again. This time is the last time! As for the instruction manual, I sure wish it did. This stall started last October, and I gained a bit over the Christmas holidays and it was easy to lost those 5 pounds. When I hit that 189 again, I stuck there. That is where I have been since the end of October. I just hope that this is real and not my body playing with my mind! lol
03 Apr 11 by member: ctlss
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Good to hear the scale is moving for you again. Have you seen any change in your measurements? A bump up in your calories would probably really help you start losing as well. Shooting for 1500 minimum really helps a lot of people, and an increase will often knock out a stall like nobody's business.
03 Apr 11 by member: AmethystM
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Paula, every single Sunday morning, I get up at 6:30 and make the coffee and the cookies for church...I have been doing that for 2 years now, and there are some days when I think, man those cookies smell soooo good. But I make myself a cup of joe with splenda and cream and that is what I have while smelling that heavenly smell. Perhaps some day! lol And today someone also brought cupcakes for a birthday, so there were the cinnamon bagel slices from Pantera/Bread Company, cookies, and cupcakes. Oh my...oh and I also provide candies, cinnamon discs, butterscotch, salt water taffy, and Hershey's kisses. There are days! Oy vey! And coming from such a faithful Atkineer, thank you! Maybe by next Christmas, I will be down that 117 pounds that I have been aiming for! Have a wonderful Sunday afternoon, Paula. Hugs!
03 Apr 11 by member: ctlss
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Thanks, Babs. I will take every ounce I can get!! Have a wonderful Sunday, my friend! Hugs!
03 Apr 11 by member: ctlss
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BIG HUGS for you too!!! And by next Christmas... you WILL be!!! :))) Much Love.
03 Apr 11 by member: jsfantome
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Amethyst, my measurements have remained EXACTLY the same....no lose on the tape or the scale, really, since the end of Ocotber. I have upped calories, downed calories, you name it, I have done it. This is my 4th time doing Atkins, and this time I have been at it for 14 months. I have tried adding exercise, and taking it away (just don't log it here), and I am now using a Fitbit to track my actually calorie burn. I am now in the middle of an experiment and so far it seems to be working. Have a wonderful day!
03 Apr 11 by member: ctlss
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Oh Paula, from your lips to God's ear!
03 Apr 11 by member: ctlss
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I think, when we have a monumental change, like wanting to lose weight, that the physical part ,making meals,saying no to goodies, the shopping, prep work, are all the easiest part. It's the mental side of the change that throws us off. either we second guess ourselves, go nuts with the scale and measurements, or we constantly worry about how we eat, when we eat, where we eat.i don't think there's a program that prepares us emotionally for the changes that are happening. Ask a former fat person if they feel thin or see thin in the mirror, especially if they've always been heavy,how long did it take to become mentally the person in the mirror? Maybe it's not the food that traps us into sliding backwards, maybe it's the tape recorder that plays in our heads. The one that says if you aren't losing YOU did something wrong. How do we turn the tape off. All the bad comments, somehow we have to get past that.I think with new changes to the body must come new changes to the mind. We must prepare for the day when all the weight loss is done and have a new goal to achieve, a new job ,or a new adventure, a new hobby to keep our minds moving in a positive way.EVER building on positive actions,memories, and enjoyments.I know that changing the mind is just as important as changing the body. I hope this is of help.
03 Apr 11 by member: 83JEN
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TOWANDA! Blooming good News Stef!
03 Apr 11 by member: Lisa Online
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Great news, Stef, just great news!!!!
03 Apr 11 by member: Sandy701
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Jen, if you were to go back and read my journal entries, you would find that all of what you say is what this last 14 months is about. Learning to love myself, to understand that who I am is not tied to a weight, and learning to forgive. I have come a long way from the person I was...the old me would have quit, the new me never will. This is for life, not for a weight goal, and I think that is the most important, and haredest, thing to realize. All the bad comments are still there, and every once in a while, one sneaks out and tries to get me in a head lock, but I have learned that those voices aren't speaking truth, they are simply an echo of the grief, hurt, and pain that I felt for so many years, and that I built a fat wall around to avoid facing. Thank you.
03 Apr 11 by member: ctlss
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Thanks, Lisa....let's keep our fingers crossed that it continues! lol
03 Apr 11 by member: ctlss
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03 Apr 11 by member: ctlss
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