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Have you ever asked yourself ... when will I ever learn??? I am asking myself that this morning. I held out from spaz mode for a while ... was able to swim around in being okay with fluctuations until yesterday when I was feeling panicked, freaked out, stressed, downright down in the dumps. Today Frank tells me I am "down." LOL!!! The mental aspect of this journey is so much more of a challenge to me than anything else!!
So, acceptance is more than accepting my body and what the scale says or doesn't say. Acceptance. Patience. Self-respect. Fighting the urge to feel "less than", fear of being "out-of-control", gosh ... I'm sure there is more but I haven't figured it out yet.
It helped me though to talk it out here. It helps me to hear from others who have walked a thousand miles in shoes similar to mine. I feel kind of silly though ... like "Carol you should know better ..." Opps ... there's more negative self talk!!! See how sneaky it is?
One more day until we leave on our week long vacation. I AM doing fine. I WILL have a good time and it IS an opportunity for me ... not a challenge, not a stressor, simply an opportunity for me to stretch my wings. I have my wonderful husband by my side to support me. I DO know how to enjoy myself around food. I AM not a failure. I AM not destined to be "fat." I DO NOT have a defective metabolism. I have months of proof to reflect on in that regard. My body IS healthy.
So, while I am still nervous I am not feeling like I need medication!! LOL!!! Oh, there will be spaz mode moments ... you can count on that!!! The journey continues ...
Nice weather today ... I'm ready for some sunshine!! Enjoy your Friday my friends. Again, thank you for your support, your suggestions, your gentle prodding, your heart-felt empathy. It is wonderful to be part of this community!
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188.6 lb
Lost so far: 70.6 lb.
Still to go: 3.6 lb.
Diet followed 100%.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 15 May 2009:
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1271 kcal
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Fat: 20.60g | Prot: 66.20g | Carb: 227.83g.
Breakfast: medifast cocoa, water. Lunch: Yoplait Light Thick & Creamy Lemon Meringue, Best Foods Light Mayonnaise, Dijonnaise Creamy Dijon Mustard, tomato slices, dill pickle chips, deli turkey slices, Orowheat Light. Dinner: Lean Cuisine Grilled Chicken & Penne Pasta. Snacks/Other: banana, tangerine, Kellogs Honey Nut Snack Bar, GOLEAN Crunchy! Bars - Chocolate Caramel. more...
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3208 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Housework - 2 hours, Shopping - 1 hour, Precor Elliptical - 38 minutes, Driving - 2 hours, Desk Work - 4 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 6 hours and 22 minutes. more...
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losing 0.5 lb a week
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 Comments
What is your exercise eating routine? If you don't mind me asking... I am of course stuck despite what I am doing and although your journey is slow it is much faster than mine. much help appreciated. :)
15 May 09 by member: Deana Garcia
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Enjoy your vacation, you will be fine. Get some heavy duty R & R in. :-)
15 May 09 by member: WECANDOTHIS
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Deanna, of course I don't mind you asking!!! I am calorie counting, trying to keep it low fat most of the time and when I'm hungry pick protein laden snacks. You can look at my diet calendar and I eat probably anywhere from 1000 to 1400 calories a day. I have picked easy "no-brainer" foods where I don't have to think much about portion size most of the time. Like Select Harvest or Healthy Choice soups, Lean Cuisine, Smart Ones, or Healthy Choice frozen foods for dinner. My mom and I buy Medifast "Cocoa" and have that with coffee every morning for breakfast. I always have some well balanced bars on hand that pack a fair amount of protein in them which save me when I am very hungry and when I want something really chewy and tasty. My favorites are Snickers Marathon Bar, Kashi GOLEAN crunchy bars, Kellog's Protein Bars, and Zone Perfect ... the chocolate bars are unbelievable!!! I also regularly have yogurt ... I buy Yoplait Light Thick & Creamy brand because they sweeten with splenda instead of aspartame. Most other sugarfree yogurts have aspartame in them and I can't do aspartame. Another regular snack is low-fat cottage cheese with pineapple tidbits. I portion it out ahead of time so it is quick, easy, and a no-brainer. For exercise, I have an elliptical that I am on pretty much every day. Weekdays I usually work out for 30 to 40 minutes. Weekends I try to put in at least an hour, sometimes more. I started Pilates but haven't figured out how to fit that into my daily routine yet ... working full time kind of cramps work out time!! LOL!!! Lately I've been varying my diet more. I've been eating more fruit, a few sandwiches here and there, but always trying to really be aware of the amount I am eating as much as I can. If I am hungry I EAT. I think that is key for me. It is hard sometimes because I want to cut back and lose faster but I know it is pretty much suicide to deprive myself. I've been on a zillion "diets" ... some worked better than others for me but overall they all worked. Except I gained weight on Atkins!!! Too much cheese I think!!! Find foods you can afford in your budget that are healthy that you really enjoy eating!!! Have "treats" on hand that are healthy substitutes for what you would normally indulge in. You'll figure it out ... I'm behind you 100%!!!!
15 May 09 by member: madaboutmoose
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