Cindy Thompson's Journal, 22 February 2011

Cindy, your heart is an open book! And by no means a burden to your friends. Disappointed? NO WAY! This wouldn't be easy for any one!!! But as often happens, people need time to process... they will need time to see the HOW in all of this. Right now they are just gripped with the 'uncomfortable' state of CHANGE. And change is not always easy. As we well know. But it is always possible. How tender of you to afford them time. What a terrific compromise for the moment. Keeping the doors of communication with them open and discussing this subject regularly, will go a long way to them keeping it in the front of their minds. You don't want them to think the long weekends is THE answer, but certainly a momentary solution. :) Perhaps you and Cliff can come up with a reasonable timetable. And offer to your daughter the suggestion that you could continue for the next 3 weeks, or 3 months, or whatever... that way they can begin to find and search out alternatives while you are generously continuing. You just don't want them to 'ignore' this while they think the 3 day weekends are solving the problem, so to speak. It will only be a 'surprise' to them all over again, when you tell them you can no longer continue. Kinda like giving your notice at a job...only with a lot more GRACE and LEAWAY for your daughter and SIL's benefit...to find the perfect solution for your granddaughter's care. This will work out. Just be honest with them, and yourself...and stick to your needs being meet as a priority. It isn't wrong, or selfish, or anything like that. It's important, and if they needed to choose for them...if the tables were turned and THEY decided to 'let you go'... because for whatever reasons they thought it was best for your daughter to be home w/ Olivia ... they would do it! Of course they would. And you would want them to!!! Our hearts have a way of prioritizing correctly ... and when we need help, God's Word provides us all kinds of direction and wisdom! Loving you through this...don't have grandbabies yet...but when I do, I am sure learning a lot from my friends that are walking it out ahead of me! Thanks for such a loving, generous, and simply SMART example! Much Love. 

Thank you Paula for your friendship and your prayers sister. Love and Hugs{{{}}} 

Cindy, I think you are doing the right thing by yourself and your husband! Your children are grown ups now so your top piority is to yourself and your husband! How would your daughter feel if she had to stay away from her husband all week long and only see him weekends! As much as you love your grandchild and love spending time with her she is not your resposabilty and the joys of having a grandchild is that you can give them back and have time to yourself! You have done your bit and brought up your own children! Now it's your daughters turn to do the same! You have set a good example to your children and you have nothing to regret! Just don't regret not being able to spend the time with your husband! Hoping every thing works out well for you! 

Cindy, by no means are you a burden to me or any of your friends. I know that the decision weighs on you heavy, but, I do believe you are making the "right" decision. Look into your heart, and the answer is there. You are and will continue to be a blessing to your daughter and SIL, but in the end, you must focus on you. Your husband is wonderful to support you in whatever you choose, but I am sure he needs you with him just as you yearn to be able to spend more time with him. Thinking or you. Much Love. 

You are no burden Cindy, we are all with you on this. I agree with all the above. You and Cliff need to set the expectations because I fear there will be some dragging of heels to find suitable replacement care for your granddaughter. Advise them what you will commit to and then you have to be prepared to stick to that. Sometimes life deals some hard lessons and maybe this is one for your daughter and SIL. As I said last night, they are the ones who have accepted this responsibility of parenthood, they need to step up and accept all that it entails. Love ya!  

Morning Cindy, if anything you inspire me. Listen your a wonderful person you have gone beyond being parent and grandparent. You have raised your children and now is your time to be with your husband. You daughter will manage. It will take a little getting used to as you have always been there. You can never be a burden to us cause your very special. You hurt I hurt for you..You have been a strong one and so has your husband for all the times you have traveled every week, just to be with your granddaughter. It will get easier as times goes by. But this is your life. And it is too short to be doing any thing other than what is best for you and your husband..Love You honey. I will be praying for you to get this all settled and no worries. Love ya and BIG HUGS......Bren 

Sometimes it's okay for givers to take a little bit too. Your daughter is so lucky to have a mother like you. 

Cindy, you are such a loving person and you have to believe that! I'm glad you set your priorities well. You're doing right thing for you & for your dear husband. Have a wonderful day, Cindy:) 

Thank you so much Leanne, Raven, Babs, Bren, and Chreeze for being such good friends. Your prayers are so much appreciated. I love you all. Will try to get a nap sometime today. Maybe when Olivia takes her nap this afternoon. Have a good day everybody. Love and Hugs{{{}}} 

Cindy, remember that God never closes one door without opening another. This goes for both you and your daughter. You and your family are in my prayers.  

Thank you Doozy! You are a great friend. Love ya! 

What doozy said! I second!! Keeping you in my prayers, as always, Cindy. You could NEVER be a burden to any of us...you are far too busy being a beautiful role model, instead!! I enjoy when you share with us because it reminds me that none of us have a 'perfect' life, but we do have each other!! ☺ ♥ ☺ ♥ 

Oh dear, we need to talk. This evening when I have more time I let you hear what I am thinking about your journal today. Love you Cindy. Towanda!!!!  

Thank you Skeeter Jean! I really appreciate the prayers my friend. Things have a way of working out and I know in time that my daughter will understand. Have a great day my friend. Love and Hugs{{{}}} 

Lisa, I always welcome your thoughts. You are a great friend. Love and Hugs{{{}}} 

Cindy, I whole-heartedly believe that you are making a wonderful decision, and doing so with a great deal of strength and love. Your daughter and SIL will have some growing pains, it's true, but in the long run I think it will benefit them and their relationship with each other. With another baby on the way, this is the best time for them to incorporate searching for appropriate child care for both Olivia and the new little one as they make other preparations for the newest addition to their family. I can only imagine how torn you must feel, but you've truly gone way beyond what any grandmother would do, and at the expense of your own life and your own marriage relationship. You've raised a wonderful daughter who's making her own way in the world as an adult and parent. Time to let her really stretch her wings. 

Cindy, dear dear Cindy. Asking for more time with your husband is in no way selfish, not in the least. This may sound harsh and I do hope you don't hate me for saying this BUT you did your time, you raised your 2 children, and now its time for you to enjoy your quite time with your husband. I know this was a tough decision for you to make as you love your grandaughter and the time spent with her but I also think that this move is a good one for both you and your husband but also your daughter and her family. Give it time I am sure she will come around eventually! 

Thank you Sandy. Cliff and I are doing well right now in our marriage but I want to spend my nights with the man God gave me. Your kind words are very much appreciated my friend. Hope that your evening is wonderful. Love and Hugs{{{}}} 

Dear Cindy, why in the world would you lose any of our respect or love? If anything we love you even more for being the kind, wonderful, loving person that you are. Your daughter and SIL will adjust, and they will find someone to care for their daughter and the new baby. You needn't feel guilty about wanting to spend more time with your dear hubby, he is your soulmate, he is your other half, and when you are separated you aren't whole. Life is short and we need to be with our soul mates...that is what God intended. And while I know that you love your daughter, she needs to build her own family, with her hubby and her children, just like you did. I know that this decision is tearing you apart, but believe me, it is the right one, and in the end everything will work out just like God intends. God bless you, Cindy. I will be praying for you and your family. Love and big hugs, sweet sis! 

Oh, and congrats on the weight loss...I am soo proud of you!