FullaBella's Journal, 07 February 2013

Thursday, right?

You know, if the Mayor of Gotham city can send up a signal when he needs Batman then surely OUR Mayor can do something similar with the days of the week. Wouldn't it be great to look up and see the day of the week posted? Then again they'd probably have to sell some freaking ads in order to pay for that and the sky would be full of commercials. Oh well.

So three things (so far) this morning.

First, my acne finally cleared up about a week ago. I know, stop rolling your eyes and wondering if I understand how puberty works. I've had these two constant embarrassing age defying facial cleansing program defeating zits on my left cheek for YEARS that would never heal or go away. I even stopped wearing makeup and thought a couple of times I was going to take the whole top layer of skin off my face scrubbing it.

I'd actually been disappointed that the change in diet and increase in water didn't yield any progress after even after five months so the only thing I can actually attribute it to 'now' is either the change in diet finally kicked in a necessary hormone OR the fact that I eliminated 'processed' grains (baked bagel chips, pretzel crisps and cornbread bites) about two weeks and that was the underlying cause and cure. Either way, color me pleased. Pleased and zit free for the first time this decade.

Second, the scale is now sitting on a chair in the laundry room. I'd been considering moving my 'weigh in' to weekly instead of hourly for days now and finally decided to do it after Joy & Doubt squared off this morning. The silly conversation that served as the catalyst for this decision went something like this:

"Wow - is that 207 or 206?"
'Does it really matter? A loss is a loss.'

"Sure it Matters! A pound is very important.'
'Yeah, well, if it were that important to you, you'd have stopped eating those homemade kale chips yesterday after the first bite when you discovered you'd made them too salty.'

"Oh, so you think it would have could have may have been even 205 if I hadn't eaten that... wow... darn..."
'You're making me nuts again.'

So if you heard and wondered about that sonic boom this morning it was Logic grabbing the scale with a GAAAAAAAAHHH screech: "That's it, you too are driving ME crazy and I've had enough. No more daily weigh ins! Stay the course, record your food, make good choices and drink your water!"

So I put the scale up on a chair so that I won't be tempted to step in there a dozen times a day under the guise of 'doing laundry' or every time I take the furbaby outside to potty. Yay me.. bring on the sanity.

Staring at the now vacant spot in front of my little bathroom statue I had a moment of anxiety and considered putting Olive down there (my new palm plant) but no, deep breaths, I'll be fine.

Third: I'm not sure if I'll ever achieve real sanity. Maybe it's because "Frasier" is on in the living room as I go about my morning errands but this is when I do most of my self reflection and analytical thinking. This morning I was thinking about my recent plant purchases. A palm and a terrarium. The palm is very pretty but also prickly. The terrarium is self contained and other than the occasional watering only requires me to open the lid now and then. Both came with label 'requires minimal attention'.

So at first I concluded, "Oh great, I've chosen two plants that for all intensive purposes represent the height of existentialism," as I've always considered that a one size fits all label for prickly isolated people devoid of any warmth or dependence on others. This on the heels of my 'I hate to be hugged' journal the other day seemed to be something worthy of a Freudian field day. But then I read about more about it and though arrived at no solid real conclusion I feel the end result was 'good' that I'm paying more attention to my choices - food and otherwise.

Anyway - that's about it. Yes, I buried the whole 'I lost either 3-4 pounds' in all of this because I am trying to make the next six months of this process more about mental and emotional growth than the needle on a scale. I think if I stop trying to figure out my universe based one one little 'dial' and start looking at the big picture I may be able to get some real work done.

Well, that's it folks.. y'all drive safe and be sure & tip your servers now, ya hear?
Bella

207.0 lb Lost so far: 78.0 lb.    Still to go: 27.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

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1447 kcal

Fat: 45.70g | Prot: 112.55g | Carb: 161.24g.   Breakfast: Chobani Non Fat Yogurt, Coconut Oil, Quaker Old Fashioned Oatmeal, Coffee, Schwans Blueberry, Flax Seed. Lunch: Alaskan Salmon, Vlasic Kosher Spears, Sunsweet Prunes, Sugar Free Balsamic, Spinach. Dinner: Broccoli, Schwans Salmon Burger. Snacks/Other: Cinnamon Chex, Schwan Triple Berry, Fat Free Cottage Cheese. more...

2130 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 24 hours. more...