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Back to 204.8 this morning. Ah the scale fluctuations. Aren't they grand?
It's Thursday and I feel like I've been at break neck speed all week. Well Monday was a lot of sitting in a quiet truck but it was exhausting. I only have 2 families today one is a good hour plus drive to and from so that pretty much fills up a day!
DH decided to call in sick the rest of the week ): I cannot say I was thrilled about it. I can say he is a bit more conversational but no "real" talk. And I still have the bedroom to myself. First time since I was a girl I've had my own room! It is what it is and time will tell what becomes of us. I have my moments of okayness and not so much. Yesterday was hard I'm very tired and busy. But I'm okay.
I slept much better last night so I think in ready to blast thru another day. It's interesting. He's home all day. I'm still doing all the juicing and the dishes. Hmmm
Still, I am grateful.
For my dear friends here that even though you don't know my "sin" you are so encouraging.
My mother and life long friend who challenge me and love me thru this.
Still avoiding my life long pattern of diving into a vat of junk food to soothe my pain.
My lovely dog who is thrilled to see me ALL the time!
Wonderful colleagues.
Gods grace.
And so on I go. Everyday practicing forgiveness, acceptance of my warts, gaining perspective, practicing kindness and working diligently to let DH work this out for myself while not letting his issues cloud my own. Trust me. It's a full time job in itself! I hope you all are doing well. I am stopping by as much as I can. I do not want to isolate myself. That is a big part of how I got myself into this mess! Take care!
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204.8 lb
Lost so far: 54.4 lb.
Still to go: 19.8 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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steady weight
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 Comments
Oh Carol, sigh, what can I say. It is what it is, and it will be what it will be! I wish I had something pithy to say that would make it all better but you know that that's not possible. Time, that's all we have, time. And hoping/praying that time will ease the pain, for both of you. And thank goodness for Blue because as you say pets love you 'no matter what'. If only humans could be so smart! Hang in girl, hang in, and hope today is a better day. Yay on a good sleep but its hard to sleep alone and know you are still being judged and paying for your sins. Sigh. Hugs.
07 Feb 13 by member: sarahsmum
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Carol I am so sorry you are going through this. You know I totally understand and I am here for you. I am so happy we were able to chat last night. I also know that you need to carry on and continue to be kind to yourself. We are all human and we all make mistakes and sooner or later hubby will realize that too. I am praying that you find the courage and peace to wait it out. Hugs..
07 Feb 13 by member: chattycathy1955
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Oh my dear friend...so wish I could be there to give you a BIG HUG..Hang in there sweetie..it takes time..it sucks but thats the way things are....Love ya...:O)
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Thinking of you. Sending a boatload of encouragement and hugs. :)
07 Feb 13 by member: sharonfriz
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I'm so sorry to hear about your current situation with your husband. It's very draining in all aspects and makes each day an uphill battle when things are not right with our nearest and dearest.
Whatever has transpired he obviously feels quite disappointed, so I would cut him some slack if this was your error. Give him time, but I have no doubt you have continued to be kind and gracious while he sorts this out in his head. You guys will work it out after some serious soul-searching on both sides. Keep attempting to talk to him even if it's small talk. I wish the best for you guys!
07 Feb 13 by member: Josie Ann
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Carol, it can be so hard when we are in the midst of a major stumbling block in our marriage. Time will heal this and it will get better. It has only been a few days, and some people take longer to "get over" than others. My DH is like that...I am over in a New York minute...he takes a month of Sundays. I have learned to just let him be, as if I try to engage him, it only prolongs it. He has to work it out in his own time and own way. You have too much time and love together...this will work out, and things will get back to "normal"...it just won't be as quick as you might like. I am sorry that you have to got through this though, as it is so difficult. Patience is not one of my strong suits, not sure about you! At least he is speaking to you, has held your hand for a bit, and accepted a kiss and hug...those are all positive signs! Perhaps his taking the rest of the week off is sign he is mending and wants to spend some time with you. I will say some prayers for both of you. Hugs and much love, and I am here if you need me! Remember, you are an amazing, caring, fantastic, warm, loving woman who is human and makes mistakes...just like every one else in this big ol' world. <3<3<3
07 Feb 13 by member: ctlss
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Thanks Stef! I know. I'm doing the best I can.
07 Feb 13 by member: madaboutmoose
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