Nikitawells's Journal, 03 August 2010

ok i got all off track! i felt soooooo upset this morning when i stepped on the scale. It said 167. I'm not recording it. I feel frustrated because I am catching myself dieting, when i am suppose to focus on my health. Caught up in the hype. Wanting to see fast results. I cant lie! I was thinking about lowering my calories. Why? I lost focus on the main goal. I feel unattractive again, super fat, discouraged, wanting to say forget it all! I feel so confused right now. I think (and not sure) that i am going to up my calories to maintain and learn how to love myself again. Right now I don't! I am in some fonk, and if I don't get out of it I will gain my weight back. I don't want to do that. I know I cant handle sugarfree chocolate candy. I ate it on Sunday and I always feel a struggle to get back on track after i eat it. Why cant i just stay away from it knowing how I react to eating sugar, flour, and artificial sweeteners. I am a much better person without them in my life.
164.0 lb Lost so far: 62.0 lb.    Still to go: 39.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 03 August 2010:
1699 kcal Fat: 58.04g | Prot: 64.52g | Carb: 234.35g.   Breakfast: Oranges, Mariani pitted dried Plums. Lunch: Jalapeno Ranch Dressing & Dip, Mariani pitted dried Plums, Flake Style Crab Deluxe Imitation Crabmeat, Banana Pepper, Young Green Onions (Tops Only), Cos or Romaine Lettuce, Cucumber (with Peel), Tomatoes. Dinner: Instant Brown Rice, Roasted Broiled or Baked Chicken Thigh, Creamed Spinach. Snacks/Other: Double Chocolate Almond Cookie. more...
2125 kcal Activities & Exercise: Desk Work - 8 hours, Resting - 8 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet No more dieting   steady weight

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Comments 
Don't be discouraged!!! You are too hard on yourself. We have all been there. Take your advice and focus on your health and developing good habits. Weight loss or weight maintenance is a battle, for your body will fight you to get back to its set point. I know if i don't change up my exercise routine 2-3 weeks, i will gain weight for no reason at all. You are doing great! And nothing is going to stop you from reaching your goal.  
03 Aug 10 by member: enu021000
i agree with enu... and i'm the number one person to beat myself up when the scale tells me the wrong thing... but you already gave the solution to your problem... focus on being healthier. not about how fast you can lose the weight!.. (fingers pointed back at myself)... this week was very much a spiritual awakening for me.. i just got back from my vk and i know i may have done a little damage.. but decided instead of letting the scale freak me out, to skip a couple weigh ins and teach myself to do damage control. this is about my life not a bad week.. u feel me? focus on that.. i know once i hit my goal i'll have to learn to maintain and ideally just fluctuate between the same few pounds... i have to just keep up with how my body responds to food, exercise, rest and keep going!.. you can do this and just ignore this weigh in.. give yourself a week and just get back to being centered within yourself! :) 
03 Aug 10 by member: Naiomy
That's ladies that really helps! 
03 Aug 10 by member: Nikitawells

     
 

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