ecm2008's Journal, 27 April 2008

OK. So maybe it was last week that I was all melodramatic about my weigh in and had a huge pity party. That is not where I'm coming from this week, but...

I need some help/support/suggestions. I got on the scale yesterday morning after not sleeping well at all, so I woke up pretty cranky, and had to get up early as we were having a garage sale so I could sell all of my old crap to be done with the past and move on with the new. Scale read 171. I am proud of myself, in that I just took a deep breath, and said, OK, so be it, and went downstairs and let the number go and made my oatmeal. I shrugged off the frustration and disappointment. Now, I have been working out this week, and muscle weighs more than fat, etc etc etc, but I have to say that I just don't understand it. I haven't dropped a pound, and I GAINED one. It's just a number, I know. And I am eating well and working out and that's what matters, I know. Really, I'm not just saying that in my normal sarcastic way!! I put on my new clothes I bought last week to go into the city last night for a Peace Corps event, and I felt snazzy and I looked good, and I focused on that. I just don't know why the weight isn't coming off...not even a little. I was decent with my food journal this week, and I'm going to try to go 100% this week to see if I can see what's going on with that. I'm proud that I haven't just started stuffing crap in my mouth to protest, which is what I might have done in the past. I went out to dinner last night with my cousin, and we went into an Italian place, and as we walked in I said, "I just want a huge plate of gorgonzola-y creamy pasta." You know what I ordered? Tomato and mozz salad, and beef carpacio with arugula. Perhaps not 100% south beachy, but pretty darn close. Didn't have one bite of bread. Again, I was proud of myself. I think I am making those decisions because I know that I am serious about it, and just want to be in shape and feel better about my body SO BADLY that I know every bit, good or bad, helps. And I really think it's all about choices and decisions we make. And I feel like I am making healthy choices, and listening to my body. That's why I don't understand why I am not losing. My arms look more toned (at least from my view!!) from doing the Firm, which really is awesome. But my mid section, which is my weight zone, doesn't seem to be showing signs of shrinking. I should probably be doing sit ups non stop from morning to night...I'm going to try to focus on some more exercises for my belly and back this week.

I guess my point is, I feel like I have made big strides with my attitude towards this and my reasons for wanting to lose weight. I feel like things are getting on track, and I feel good about myself. (I had the BEST interview on Friday, which ended with an, 'I don't want to be presumptuous, but welcome to the team!' from the GM--one more interview tomorrow, but it's looking pretty darn good...but I digress...) so I just want to know what I am doing or not doing to start seeing some more results. This is hard enough as it is without seeing a little something.

So, I'm reaching out to you guys (not that you haven't already been supportive) to see what you have to say and to see if you have any suggestions. The energy I used to spend being so tired of being a "fat kid" has been refocuses on making those healthy decisions, but when you keep not seeing results, that frustrated energy comes back, and I KNOW it does me no good so I am trying to fight it, but it's just hard.

Yell at me, boss me, cry with me, tell me what to do, tell me what not to do...This morning I woke up and said to myself, "I'm writing to my peeps on fatsecret because that is what they are there for and I need them!" So, here I am.

Thanks in advance, everyone!!

171.0 lb Lost so far: 4.0 lb.    Still to go: 26.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.
on diet The South Beach Diet   gaining 1.0 lb a week


That's exactly what this site, and all your FS pals are here for! You sound to me like you have been taking great strides in taking charge of your health. I really have faith in you making this happen. I say learn to accept the good and the good feelings which you deserve. As far as losing the weight though, I really suggest being 100% honest in your daily food diary. Use it, even if you eat 3 cashews, count them. I will start looking at your food diary and see if theres anything I can see that could help. Are you using the glycemic index? That really helped me A LOT! You are off to a brilliant start. It is indeed an emotional journey but you can handle this one! Keep journaling, keep your food diary and we're here for you! I hope you have a glorious Sunday! 
27 Apr 08 by member: ImLuuvd


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