kingkeld's Journal, 01 August 2012

Hmmmm... weight is still ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Sure, I didn't do TOO well yesterday, but I did nothing to justify a 1.5 kg gain! LOL.

Anyways, I know it's the fluctuation messing with me, and I'm not gonna let it get inside my head. Not a chance.

Today I go see my surgeon to get a look-see at the weight fluctuations, and the water retention. I hope we can do something about it. This is top priority seeing her.

The second thing is that I desperately need to know whether I can start exercising, and if so how much I can do and how far I can push it. Of course, it will wear me out, but I think it'll be in a good way. I need exercise. I need to burn a little more calories every day. I need to move.

Not being able to exercise and move is driving me crazy.

I also would like to have an evaluation of the need for my girdle, as it's driving me nuts.

I'm back to wearing it nightly, at least until she's seen me today. It's holding the fluids away from the sensitive area, and should help preventing damage to the skin. Hopefully my newly acquired little "beer gut" is not permanent and will not damage anything. I hate that I see it there when I take off the girdle. I do not want!

So the mission today is basically to go and see what Surgeon says. I have an appointment at 2PM, but I will go early and do some walking. It's all about getting the exercise in that I know I am allowed to do. I hope I will get permission to do light workouts, but I need to know what I am allowed and more important NOT allowed to do. Like, can I do exercises where I stand and bend to touch the floor? Will it stretch anything or put anything in jeopardy?

I feel myself get bigger every day. Not a lot, but I do feel it. Today, the belt almost have to be one hole further out, and it's pretty far from where it used to be before the surgery. Sure, there is the girdle to consider, and the fact that the tissue is not soft as it used to, but it's still pretty far. I can't have that.

Where I am right now I do not have the feeling of having reached goal. Not at all. This will hopefully come when I am down in weight again. When I am back to where I should be, I will accept that I have reached the end.

Every time I register my weight, FatSecret invites me to write "my story" for inspiration for others. I do want to do it, but I can't do it right now. I don't feel that I am there to do it. It's coming, though.

...

Anyways...

Yesterday was awesome for Wife, not as awesome (but still great) for me.

She did the catering for my bosses going away party. Boss Lady was amazed at the table that Wife did for her. Wine, cheese, cakes, snacks, nuts, fruits, sodas, coffee... you name it! It looked amazing!

Everyone loved it, and most was gone by the time we started packing it up.

Of course, I had to try the chocolate truffle cake - and it was absolutely divine! Sadly, in a small corner of it was a carb monster peeking out, ready to attack. One piece became two, then a little cheese, some nuts, and - well, you know how it goes.

I think I did reasonably okay. I definitely went over RDI, and I probably went over my calories burned for the day, but I don't think THAT much. I'm not sure. I stopped counting.

This is of course also reason for the gain today. That and the fact that my dinner was pretty heavy - though light on calories. It all weighs me down for the morning weigh-in.

Still, I know I didn't eat an extra 1500 grams of food yesterday. :)

I'm okay with it, I'm on track today and all. Going to the hospital, which requires two hours of commuting each way, I have prepared lunch, I have four(!) bottles of water - one per hour - and I am good to go. I will NOT buy any snacks or treats, and I will do good all the way.

I have a new commitment. Seeing that I am tempted to go buy a little treat here and there, and that I really don't need them, I have decided to put the money aside instead of spending them on unhealthy foods.

I want a new and better speaker cabinet for my bass amp. This is a fairly pricey thing, but I need it. When I play with BURN I just don't have enough volume, so I need an upgrade.

Well, my deal is that I do NOT spend money on treats, but put them aside. In the bigger picture, this will save me some dineros, and thus make room in our budget for this. It's a treat for me, and definitely motivating.

Essentially I need two speaker cabinets, but they'll have to be purchased over time, as they cost a bit. One at a time will do, and in the beginning I will combine it with the speakers I have already, to help them push each other along.

Today, I am thankful for:
- a GREAT night's sleep.
- Morning coffee.
- Seeing Surgeon today.
- Generally feeling a little better, though I gained weight. I'm okay with it.

Happy hump day! Life is good!

188.1 lb Lost so far: 153.7 lb.    Still to go: 0.7 lb.    Diet followed poorly.

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1175 kcal

Fat: 50.13g | Prot: 76.65g | Carb: 101.38g.   Breakfast: Rye Bread, Sliced Ham (Extra Lean), Egg. Lunch: Sliced Ham (Extra Lean), Rye Bread. Dinner: Butter, Mushrooms, Onions, Beef or Meat Gravy, White Potatoes (Flesh and Skin), Ground Beef. more...