Nikihampton's Journal, 17 December 2014

You will recover, life goes on, when you are ready you will find somebody better and congrats on your weight loss Niki. 

I'm doing exactly the opposite and trying to learn to be without a women, so far so good 

One of my coworkers is a counselor for AA. She brought me in a little worksheet one day when I was having a hard time holding it all together. the next day she had me build on it. before I know what was going on, I realized she was having me go thru part of the 12 step process. I don't have any addictions but I suppose needing someone(even if unhealthy) can be an addiction. I am shocked at how much it is helping me. and to recognize not only am I mad at him for the way I was treated but at myself for allowing it and reacting as it did. hopefully the next relationship will be all that God has instore. My heart will be better prepared and not as defensive.  

I've always thought someone should create a group for people in break up recovery. you're lucky to have a great coworker.  

what a good friend you have! i'm glad you have someone helping and looking out for you. hang in there and take care of yourself. the days will just get better and better!  

Love the strength you put out. It will get you through everything.  

Thank you Glen. Im healing. in past I have not allowed myself to heal before moving on. Im taking time for me this time. this one hurt more than my divorce after 16 years. no idea why. I guess bc he loved and hated with everything in him and I really do love him. I just have to follow God plan for me and what is healthy. Not just for me but especially my kids. Plus he liked junk food way to much lol. that's when I gained all my weight. :) bad food and drinks.  

You have to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. 

Glen, I never really thought I had an issue with forgiving. I feel im a forgiving person by nature. But what im learning is that I really just bury it. And then forget to forgive myself as well. I think that's really my issue. I think? God is doing great work in me. Helping me find peace in Him and myself and surrounding me with friends to keep me busy and away from falling back to the familier. so easy to go back and think there is more I can do to make it better. Truth is I love the guy but I will never get the Love I need there. He just loves different then what my heart needs.  

:) 

You might consider this book. It may or may not apply "The Approval Fix: How to Break Free from People Pleasing" by Joyce Meyer. I have not read it but just happen to see it on the shelf last night while shopping for my wife. 

Joyce Meyer :) I had just spent a week at yoga teaching training reading the Gita when I turned on the TV and chanced upon her show. Honestly I wasn't sure what religious tradition she was teaching toward for about 15 minutes. :) 

I've watched a few of her shows. I generally do like her. Anything I've watched or read of hers is Christian. I wonder what she was speaking on that made her so vague you wasn't able to tell.  

Oh it was my mindset and joining her show half way though the message. I figured it out after a while. I made a donation so I got the book from that show. Now I have to read it.